“okay nd my bf now ex well he had been cheating on me and it was the whole relationship but he told me wen he goes to parties he gets drunk and ends up doing something stupid and well he cheated on me and brokeup with me cause he realized wat he did the next morning and the day after he wanted me back and i dont know whether i should give him a second chance or not and its been stressing me out cause i love him and i wanna be able to give me and him another shot.”

- Gabbie (17, Opelousas, Louisiana)

“My bf and I have been together 17yrs. The last 7have been great, we get along well and do love each other, we’ve been through a lot. The first 10 were not so great. My bf had upwards of 15 one night stands. Some he had sex with, others oral sex and some just making out with them. I found out about some of them and was mad and hurt and decided I wasn’t enough for him and inturn had 2 full blown affairs back in 2000, both lasted a few weeks. He only knew about one of them and was hurt and that was his reasoning for a few of the girls he was with…after 2001 I thought everything was fine between us and never thought he would cheat again…I was wrong, he had 2 other girls in 2004 and 2005…2005 I got pregnant with our son and my bf said something in him changed and he never again cheated…neither have I (I did however correspond via email in 2008 with one of my affairs, but strickly as a friend)…the past almost 7 years have been fine, we have 2 young kids and we both seemed content…

however last month for some reason we decided to air out any secrets we had…this is when he found out about the affair of mine he didn’t know about and I found out about a few girls, 3 from 2000 and one he slept with in 2004 and one he had oral sex with in 2005…the difference is now instead of us being mad at each other we’re both heartbroken…we’ve gone through so much together over the years and thought we knew everything from the past. So finding all this out has been horrible…the good thing is the last month we seem to be so much more in love with each and affectionate to each other because we both realize how much we truly do love each other…we both don’t ever want to hurt the other again which is a great thing. We’re planning on going to Vegas in March just the two of us and quietly getting married. I have wanted to marry him since we were young foolish kids so I can’t wait…however I’m worried about a few things…and oddly none of them are if he is going to cheat again!…I’m worried this “honeymoon phase” we’re in right now might end and he may feel he’s made a mistake. Secondly I’m worried about the girl he had sex with in 2004. She is a friend of his sister and was introduced to him back in 2000, he spent the night at his sisters and they all lied to me about it, he says nothing happened that night but I’m not sure, she then ran into him in 2004 and that was when they had sex. We ran into her again in 2005 (me having no idea they had sex), last weekend I was talking to his sister about this and she was concerned…it seems this girl is clinically depressed among other issues, my sister in law isn’t great friends with her anymore but still chats via Facebook…we went through all the emails between this girl and my sister in law and there are about 30, all initiated by this girl, only 10 responses from my sister in law, every single email in a round about way is asking about her “family” and personal information about her nieces and nephews. She asks in every single one if she can go over to my sister in laws house…we moved to the other end of the city and through the emails found out that she too now lives literally minutes away from us…I’m affraid this girl has never gotten over my bf and I’m not sure if she’s going to try cause problems…the last issue I have is I can’t get the images of my bf and all these girls out of my head…its eatting me alive and I don’t know what to do.”

- Sue (35, Edmonton, Alberta, Canada)

“if your boyfriend/spouse says he is NOT talking to one of his ex’s anymore, but yet this said ex, still trys to contact him ie i love you, i miss you so much, but he says he hasnt talked to her in quite sometime. i believe him to an extent but wants to write this said ex and ask her to leave him alone, is this wrong of me? or should i trust my instincts and believe that my bf isnt talking to her like he says he isnt?!”

- Megan (25, Dallas, Texas)

“My boyfriend and I have been dating for over 3 years now. We are so close and are each other’s best friend. I love him so much but I know he has trust/jealousy issues. I am faithful to him and have/will never cheat on him. He insists that I have done several things to lose his trust but, the thing is, he is so insecure that I can hardly talk to guys. I don’t have any guy friends, which I am fine with, but he gets jealous when I do innocent activities such as assigned group projects for school. I love him but these insecurities cause us to fight almost every day. He is nagging my constantly to the point that I am questioning whether I really want to be with him or not. Is it normal to fight a lot? How do I get him to stop nagging me? I am so sick of it! I just want to live my life happily and enjoy my college experience with him in my life!!”

- Ann (18)

“me and my ex have been going through this on and off type of relationship for the past four years, during the last year of our relationship he turned into this mean person i dont want to be with him, ive had my ends straw but i feel like the only way i can be happy is to talk to him, hes started rumors and believes that i have had sex with a number of guys. But i got into the relationship a virgin and still to this day its only been him. i just want to know what to do, how to prove i have been honest. My parents dont approve but my thoughts have even wondered as far as calling a talk show host to take a lie detector test so he’ll get off my back and leave my family, my friends, and myself alone. hes honestly ruined my life i want this to end, what do i do ? please help!”

- Jasmine (21, Fort Wayne, Indiana)

“I am writing this mail to you in a state of great mental distress. I am 21 yrs old, a final year student of IIT Kharagpur. I have a girl friend from the age of 17. she too studies in my batch. We prepared for IITJEE together and everything was fine until 3rd year when some of my friends told me that I was wasting my youth by being after 1 girl. they said there was no harm in having online sexual relationships with other women. And I felt this was true. Before this I should mention that I studied in a boys’ school and have extreme curiosity about women and sex. So, I started talking to some girls (some I knew previously, some I got to know through friends) And to my surprise I found all of them (without knowing me or knowing very little about me) were very free to talk about sex and share their sexual experiences. I enjoy such talks a lot (especially sometimes when I am frustrated but my girlfriend is too busy with her studies- in fact this this happens a lot). I know she loves me (dont get me wrong) but sometimes it is just not possible for her to give me enough time (and its not her fault). But the problem is the above chats have happened with 3 girls and my girlfriend does not take them well. After the first incident, she became paranoid and started checking my mails. She never agrees to keep my email address personal. I have to give her password to keep her trust. She feels the fact that I do all these humiliates her, especially in front of my friends. But I feel that she is being too outdated. She feels having loose sexual morals is a negative quality but I feel promiscuity is a sign of modernity. She thinks being modern and being promiscuous are totally unrelated. I really don’t know how. She asked me to regain her trust by stopping all sort of communication with all the girls. But i could not stop communication with these girls- so could not regain her trust. I think I love her because I care for her. I give her highest priority and I do whatever I can to please her, even if she does not ask for it. I go to dates with her. We spend some good times together. She is good looking. But I think its not necessary to stop communication with other girls. She feels that she should break-up with me but I love her and dont want to lose her. She gave me a choice- a relationship with her or loose talk with those girls. I dont understand why I have to make a choice. Cant I have both? Dont you think she is over-reacting? She calls it self-respect but dont you think it is her ego?”

- SubhagatoDutta (21, Kharagpur, India)

“I been with my wife over 23 years we had two kids my daughter 23 and my son 17 maybe I am over reacted or jealousies she work for casino her shift end at 2am sometimes she don’t get home until 5 am she don’t answer my call I came to her work her car still in the parking lot I waiting for her to show up after an hour she pull up with her coworker she told me they went out get something to eat, after few weeks go by she enrolled in some acting class I call but no answer accidentally her phone call me I heard she was talking to some guy I was listening to there conversations when she got home I was so angry when she saw me waiting in front of the house and jelling she drove off to her sister house she never explain to me who she with but I forgive her last week I came to her work and her coworker walk her to her car and they were hugging in the parking lot when she got home I confront her but told me I am over reactions and last night there both walking out I pull up in front of them she say he just walk me out, I want to catch her in the act and find out is she really cheating or I am just too jealousy and over reacting please help what should I do?”

- Tony (43, Torrance)

Online psychology degrees are what some people look into when they want more insight into relationship topics like jealousy.

“ive been with my boyfriend for 8 going on 9 months when we are together its like nothing else matters everything is perfect. during our relationship we broke up twice because he doesnt trust me. i love him with everything i have and my everyday life even if im busy doing work he is on my mind. he doesnt open up to me, we text more than we are on the phone, when we are on the phone he sounds annoyed. he thinks that i delete my text messages before he comes to see me, and that certain things i dont add up. then again through all of that when we are together its amazing we both talk to eachother and let our feelings out. sometimes i just feel like he doesnt love me but he does so much things that nobody else sees. i want him to trust me and want to be with me emotionally as much as i am with him. im confused, and im lost and i am in love with him i just want him to see that.”

- Abbi (18, Miami, FL)

“i am in love with this guy from past 6 years.. we are from different religion.. my parents are against this relation.. he had cheated me several times in past, as he had few affairs in past. i have stopped trusting him. now my parents want me to get married though he is not yet settled. how to approach my parents and what to do? i am confused..”

- She (23)

“My girlfriend and I have been dating for about 7 months. We are in a long distance relationship, she lives in Washington I live In NY. We met online on a blog site..instantly connected and had so many things in common and fell madly in love. We met each other in person over a month ago and things went great. She stayed for about two weeks..but after I saw her leave for home I just got so depressed and everything and now it just seems going back to Skype and the telephone its harder. We have been fighting a lot lately and I have been having these doubts that it won’t be the same as we first saw each other a month ago. I plan on going up there at the end of the month I just don’t want to keep arguing..and we usually make up in the same day but its just taking a toll on both of us emotionally. I love her so much and I want to be with her I just want some advice on how to keep a distance relationship going and how I can get rid of these doubts I am having? Also how to deal with jealousy, I have real bad jealousy issues and its not like I don’t trust her..I just don’t trust other people plus they get to see her all the time. Please I want to keep this going. Thank you!”

- Dee (18, NY)