Ray Asked:

“My wife and I have been married 2 years this Monday. Lately she has been less and less intimate or affectionate if ever at all. The only time she seems to want to be intimate is if she is just “trying to make me happy”. We used to make love almost everyday when we were younger. She says she is stressed, but I mean so am I with work and all that goes on but I always would make time for sex. She gets very upset if I bring it up. She is the love of my life I want to feel like I am the same to her. What should I do?? Its so frustrating getting denied over and over and not feeling “wanted”. FYI we have no children and have been together for 8 years.

- Ray (24, Fresno, CA)

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Let me get right to the point. “What’s stress got to do with sex”? Everything!! What? “Everything”! Absolutely!!! Stress is pretty high up there as on one of the top reasons for why couples are not having sex! So I thought it would be important to identify some stressors in our lives that might be getting in the way of, or actually completely killing, our sex drive.

Some people are capable of doing many things well while under stress; but being in the mood for sex and/or feeling sexy usually isn’t one of them.

So enough jabbering here and let’s get on with identifying 5 common stressors that decrease or eliminate one’s sex drive. (And remember, some of these sex drive killers have nothing to do with how you feel about your partner – what a sense of relief!).

… read more

Let me get right to the point. “What’s stress got to do with sex”? Everything!! What? “Everything”! Absolutely!!! Stress is pretty high up there as on one of the top reasons for why couples are not having sex! So I thought it would be important to identify some stressors in our lives that might be getting in the way of, or actually completely killing, our sex drive.

Some people are capable of doing many things well while under stress; but being in the mood for sex and/or feeling sexy usually isn’t one of them.

So enough jabbering here and let’s get on with identifying 5 common stressors that decrease or eliminate one’s sex drive. (And remember, some of these sex drive killers have nothing to do with how you feel about your partner – what a sense of relief!).

… read more

Once again, current research has shown how people in happy committed relationships are healthier and live longer than people who aren’t in these types of relationships. Why? Because these couples have the emotional support of each other when the you-know-what hits the fan. Having your partner’s support takes a lot of the sting out of a stressful situation while having the added benefit of bringing you emotionally closer to each other.

We all experience all types of stress in our lives. People in happy relationships; however, experience these stressors differently because they have the support of each other. So how do you and your partner de-stress your life and your relationship in 2010?

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Humans are creatures of habit and eventually your habits will affect your relationships. Couples begin to settle in, get comfortable, enjoy the day-to-day consistency, and perhaps eventually, fall into a rut. If the two of you are still laughing and having fun doing the same old same old, great. Either way, it is good to take a look at where you are with your partner, whether your married, dating, engaged, etc and give you and your partner a treat by rejuvenating your relationship. You should also take a “self -check” and see if you are happy with where you are as an individual. If not, that will spill over into your relationship and could potentially have an adverse affect on the relationship. The relationship you have with yourself is even more important than those with others and requires the appropriate attention as well.

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