‘What do you mean sir?’

‘You know. If you don’t, you will learn soon.’

After making the statement, Mr. Lewis sat back in his chair. What he meant was unclear at the time, but would show itself in the future. The tone of the conversation changed once we discussed Lisa. It was apparent that Nico wouldn’t be hurt by me because my head was stuck up another ass.

Tanico never talked much about Anthony anymore, but from what I gather, her father didn’t like him much. Apparently, he wasn’t treating her the way she should be treated. She had been spending quite a bit of time with me, so he couldn’t have been too concerned with her whereabouts.

‘So tell me about yourself Rajah. Give me all the details’ he replied. It was hard to know where to start, but before my mouth moved, Nico popped back into the room.

‘What are you two talking about?’

‘Rajah was just going to tell me about himself, weren’t you?’

‘Sure.’

Tanico took a seat and my mouth told all of the sorted details about my life. Her dad sat there seemingly interested in what was coming out of my mouth. Even Nico was involved in the story running from my lips. The words were about the marriage that just destroyed my reality. After telling the story, Mr. Lewis replies speaking in Nico’s direction, “Damn you tell a good story. How come you can’t date a young man like this?”

‘Son, you are too nice though.’

‘What do you mean,’ I reply.

“Dad! Would you stop trying to pry in people business!” Nico yelled as she smiled at the same time.

‘I’m just trying to help the young man. Anyway, you let women take advantage of your kindness. Lead the woman, don’t let them lead you.’

These same exact words came to me from a woman. The exact woman he told me to watch out for.

‘I just don’t want to hurt them,’ I replied.

‘Leading a woman is not hurting them.’ He suddenly turned towards Nico and began to give her the eye.

‘Yes’ Nico said.

“Nico, what kind of man do you want?’ he asked.

‘What?’ she uttered.

‘Tell me.’

‘Well, a nice man who respects me and decisions I make; someone who is strong and supportive, but will have the courage to tell me when I’m wrong.’

The whole statement seemed contradictory to me, so I asked, “If a man is supportive and respects your decisions, why would he tell you that you are wrong?” Mr. Lewis burst out into this loud laughter.

‘Son, you are being too logical. They want someone to argue with them.’

Nico turned up her lips and began addressing her dad about his statement.

‘That isn’t it at all dad. We want someone who can meet us halfway when needed, and then take charge when we don’t feel like making a decision. Respect is a simple thing and wanting someone you can trust to make decisions for you when you can admit that you don’t know what to do is what I want.’

Mr. Lewis turned up his right eye as to say, she knows what she wants; however, the plot thickened when he addressed a personal issue of Nico’s.

‘If you know what is good for you, why are you with that clown Anthony?’

‘Dad, please don’t start on him,’ she said softly.

‘Not starting at all. You have time to leave that fool before you make a decision to marry him.’

‘See dad!’

‘What?’

‘You don’t trust my decisions!’

While she was getting louder and louder, Mr. Lewis was calm about the whole conversation. That is where I needed to be in my life. The art of communicating without arguing is something that takes time. He replied in a simple manner:

“It’s not that your decisions aren’t trusted, but it’s more that I know how sneaky men can be towards women. That boy lacks discipline, drive, and respect. He walked up in here like I owed him something.”

‘Dad, stop it now!’ She yelled. ‘We are not talking about this anymore. I’m done with this conversation. Rajah, are you ready to go?’

It didn’t seem as though there was a need for a yes or no, so my body jumped out the seat, shook Mr. Lewis’ hand and headed for the car. Nico walked up the stairs fussing about her dad and proceeded to do so in the car.

On the way home, she cried out of anger. “All I ask him to do is support me and he can’t even do that. God, he makes me so angry sometimes!” It was apparent that there was nothing to say but one thing. “Is it because he is right?” I replied. Nico looked at me with this stern glance. Not 15 minutes away from the house, Nico turned around the car and headed back to Mr. Lewis’ home. When she pulled up in the driveway, Mr. Lewis was sitting on the porch in an oak chair. It was as if he was waiting for her to come back. The next scene would truly blow me away. Nico jumped out of the car, ran to the porch. Mr. Lewis stood up and they embraced. Mr. Lewis put his hands on her face as to say, everything is okay. He meant the world to her and deep down, she knew he was right. When Nico returned to the car, it was as if nothing occurred. The thought that went through my head was “Wow!” Many women and men dream of having a relationship like that with their father. It was truly a beautiful thing.

Her dad had a way with words it seems. The two of us talked for a long time that day and he told me that “You don’t meet many genuine people, but you young man, are genuine.” That comment meant more to me than anything. It made me feel like somebody and these were the types of people worth being around daily. In a way, Nico really liked the fact that there was a connection between the two of us. It was apparent that my worth was being measured by her father’s reaction. Truthfully, the fact that I passed was great for me because Nico would turn out to be a true friend.

It is not uncommon for an attractive young man and woman to hang out together. Lisa didn’t initially mind that we spent so much time together. It was true that she was merely spending time to avoid attachments or for no strings attached. There was a slight separation between Lisa and myself. She was trying to work out some things with her husband who she knew was cheating on her. The two of them collided once while I was there visiting with her. It was pretty intense to say the least.

Mike was not at all threatened by the two of us spending time together because I was not seen as a threat. Actually, one afternoon shopping, these eyes spotted him with another woman and we spoke to one another like nothing was going on there. It wasn’t my responsibility to tell her since she already knew he was cheating. They were young lovers and she was still trapped in his aura. Of course, Lisa was not pressed about dating. Tanico and I would talk about it and could never understand how this woman so strong could allow this. That is probably why she was helping the two of us. Her absence would do nothing but drive Nico and me closer together.

It’s very hard to talk about one of these women without talking about both. The more time we spent, the more it seemed that Lisa would grow jealous because she was number one at all times. After the death of her grandmother, Lisa psychologically changed on us and it was swift. We understood because of the situation with her husband. Granted, she was cheating on him with me; however, this began after he cheated on her constantly. Does that make her any better? No; however, the sting of being cheated on lessens. They always say that nothing good lasts long and nothing bad lasts forever. This saying rang true for me many times in my life and it would really ring true now.

These women were like the family I never had. Lisa used to tell me family is what you make it today, tomorrow, and the day after that. Imagine my devastation when we began to stop hanging together as much. The reasoning behind our group demise can be attributed to the actions of Lisa. She began to act differently and sometimes disrespectfully towards Nico and me.

The night that we all said our goodbyes was unlike any other night. It all happened during one of our normal trips to Detroit. We visited a local club at the time. This was one of our spots where the group, including Nico’s boyfriend would hang. It was a typical night. While Nico and I danced, Lisa was off doing what she does and Anthony was sitting at the table being cool with his drink. Nico and I sweat to some song while doing the running man and acting silly. Once we were tired from all the dancing, Nico grabbed my arm and took me for a walk outside. She had something she wanted to talk about. It was easily noticeable.

“If I tell you something, do you promise not to get angry?’ she stated.

“Sure, why not. What is it?’

‘You said that too easy…….Do you promise for real?’

“YES! Now tell me.’

‘Ant,’ as she called him, ‘asked me to move in with him.’

To be continued……………

“Sinners have a Soul Too” is on every Monday at 9am EST. Please participate in the show by leaving comments and suggestions about the show or what you think it should happen next! Our author might consider your ideas for the next episode!

Nico and I would begin hanging strong again; however, I had to break her from the habit of being so boring. Nico was sheltered coming up and didn’t like to participate in many activities. Specifically, she wasn’t wrapped up in sex, drugs, alcohol or being too spontaneous. Her father would be the influence in her life that would guide her since the absence of her mother. She doesn’t remember her mom or care to remember her mother. That’s all that she would say about her mother so I left it alone. So we see the relationship of Nico and Lisa, and how the lack of mothers in their lives brought them together as friends. Again, the treat was all mines, but the real party did not start until meeting her father.

Mr. Lewis seemed like a television dad at first, with the way the two of them joked around together. It was as though the two of them had grown up together. Many times, he played mind games with Nico and they worked. The one thing he made clear is that no one is good enough for Nico until he said otherwise. Usually, there was no one who could reach that point. Just to be her friend, he put you through the gauntlet.

The first day meeting him was truly a memorable day. As we approached the house, my nerves felt as if they were playing football in my stomach. The reasons for my nervousness were unclear to me seeing that Nico and I were just friends or were we? It is true that men sometimes say that to get close to a woman; however, in this case the truth is we were friends. Mr. Lewis wanted to make acquaintance with any and everyone that Nico considered a friend and especially those that were male. He knew the games we played and tried to teach Nico.

The house was a two story with a perfectly manicured lawn, trimmed bushes, and a freshly washed automobile in the driveway. Initially, it was clear why Nico was so smart and well rounded. In my old neighborhood, we didn’t see many females such as Nico. As we pulled up the driveway, you could smell a freshly cooked meal coming from the house. Suddenly, the door flew open and there was Mr. Lewis greeting his daughter with love and a great hug. He completely ignored me as they entered the house. In this situation arose a dilemma. Do I enter the house uninvited or remain outside in the driveway? It was clear to choose the latter because some people, mainly fathers, can be disrespected easily. After about five minutes of waiting, Nico came out of the door and inquired as to why standing in that spot was the best course of action.

‘Why are you standing here? You are being so rude.’

‘My ears didn’t hear an invitation in, so until that happens I’m standing here.’

‘What!’ she yells. ‘He’s not going to bite you. Come in here now, for real.’

‘It’s rude to walk in someone’s house uninvited.’

‘You are acting crazy! He wants to meet you. That’s why you are here.’

My concern was actually hearing the words come out of his mouth saying he wanted me in the house. Suddenly, he yells, ‘Nico! Tell your friend to come inside.’

‘Okay,’ I said to Nico, ‘heard him.’

Tanico went upstairs after that display to use the bathroom. Her father approaches me and asks if he could speak with me in the basement. Upon entering the house, I noticed it was clean from top to bottom. Through the side door, we entered the kitchen, where you could access a finished basement as well. On that occasion, my eyes would only see the basement because this is where we were to have our chat or the chat. Walking down the stairs, the basement was complete with a pool table, a couple of arcade games, and a nice size television. The sight was all so amazing until my head turned to see Mr. Lewis settling in a recliner, staring at me pointing towards the chair next to the recliner. I knew this would be the part where he played protective father.

“What is your name again boy?” he replied.

“My name is Rajah sir.”

“There is something you need to know about her and about me. Sit down.” I moved quickly to grab a seat, interested in what he had to say.

‘She is the most precious thing that belongs to me and I will not tolerate any boy trying to take away her value if you know what I mean.’

‘Hold on sir,’ I blurted. ‘Tanico and I are just friends. I have no intentions on being with her.’

He looked at me with this strange glare for a minute.

‘Let me guess, you two are friends. Boy, don’t run that okedoke on me. So you and Tanico are not dating or trying?’

‘No’ I replied.

‘So she still with that knuckle head clown with no future?’

‘I believe so sir.’

‘How did you meet Nico?’ he asked.

‘Through Lisa.’

‘Oh okay! You and Lisa are good friends.’

I replied ‘yes,’ while smiling.

‘Why are you smiling? Oh, I see. You want that young woman. She seems to be a nice young lady, but watch yourself. Lisa is an independent woman. She may not want what you want.’

My first impulse was to get sensitive, yet I was more shocked and bewildered as to why he would say that.

To be continued……………

“Sinners have a Soul Too” is on every Monday at 9am EST. Please participate in the show by leaving comments and suggestions about the show or what you think it should happen next! Our author might consider your ideas for the next episode!

After a while, things went back to normal. Nico and I were good friends, trying to avoid the issue of sex altogether, but it was difficult. After the two of us figured out that we had much in common, we decided to spend much time together just as friends. The attraction was there and it was even worse when she reunited with her boyfriend. She was off limits to me at that point. There were things that just can’t be done. Nico and Anthony were reconciling and Lisa was trying to solve her marital problems. Lisa and Mike were together again trying to work things out, yet that didn’t stop her from calling me when she felt he was cheating again.

Nico and I talked frequently, in great detail about her fiancé Anthony. Yes, her fiancé Anthony. He popped the question to her after the last breakup. She bought it to my attention rather abruptly. The last time I checked, they were just reconciling. Everyone was sincerely happy for her though, including me. While Lisa worked on her relationship, Nico and Anthony worked to maintain their love. The two of them were so happy it seemed after a while, and it was well deserved for Nico. Nico got to the point where she would spend little time with me for fear we would sleep together. There was a deep sexual attraction between the two of us that was desperately fought. She practically told me one night we were out with Lisa, their men, and my date who my mind forgets altogether. Only thing remembered about that woman was we had sex. Around those two, any other woman was invisible, plus Lisa was number one anyway. Lisa didn’t care when I was with other women because she knew; however, Nico would treat me harsh when she saw me with a woman.

That particular night Nico seemed okay as she was hugged all over Anthony. They were a type of serious that I had never seen in my years. She loved him but we shared in an attraction that was stronger than the two of us. It’s like being extremely hot, and trying to cool off. My mind recalls going to the classic arcade game to play a quick game of Defender within the restaurant, which was a childhood recreation. Tanico came over and talked with me about Anthony. Questions like, “Do you think he has changed?” “Will he be different?”

‘Nico, that is up to you to decide. I’m biased anyway.’

She gave me one of those pretty smiles and spoke of the times we had.

‘I wish I would’ve met you years ago. Right now you are so lost.’

‘Why do you say that?’ I replied.

‘You don’t know what you want,’ she said. ‘If you did, I would love you.’

‘You don’t now?’

‘Not like that, but I’m looking at you and thinking that after this night I can’t come to your house.’

‘That wouldn’t be a good idea.’ I replied

‘I know and that’s why we need to stay friends. You make my body feel so good.”

‘Do I?’

‘Yes…….Getting wet just thinking about it,’ smiling brightly.

‘Nico……You don’t talk like that,’ replying in amazement.

‘It was a joke, but I do want you.’

After the discussion, we returned to the table and joined in with the conversation. Our eyes would meet several times; as we sat there talking with everyone else. What she said to me resonated in my mind, truly unclear of what was next for me in life. That night, she helped me decide what needed to be done to fix life. We stayed in contact; however, my life was now the focus of my days. It was time for me to experience things on my own.

We spent time at her home just watching television and playing cards many nights, while Lisa worked on her marriage and other things. Nico kept me busy most of those nights relaxing and talking about Anthony. Our relationship was infrequently sexual, yet the relationship changed to a more family one, especially since the reuniting of her and her boo. She was a certified treat in my life at that time; however, she was also one of my weaknesses. There was more time spent with Nico due to Lisa beginning to deteriorate after a while.

Fast forwarding to the present, a part of me misses Lisa and our relationship. The good, the bad, and the ugly are all missed. Without her, my life wouldn’t have been too successful. Lisa contributed to my well being when others could have cared less. As much distrust there has been of her, there is a part of me that misses her friendship. People may see that as disrespect to my current wife, but it really is far from disrespect. When we are in our development stages, we become attached to our parents, siblings, etc. because they provide nurturing. As we grow older, we develop friendships that nurture as well; therefore, developing an attachment. Sometimes there is a feeling of loss or even unfinished business when my mind focuses on her. She would seem like a very arrogant, calculating woman, but to Nico and me, she was the sunlight we needed during dark times. She had done some negative things, but what was realized is we were all growing up, so we make those mistakes.

To be continued…………..

“Sinners have a Soul Too” is on every Monday at 9am EST. Please participate in the show by leaving comments and suggestions about the show or what you think it should happen next! Our author might consider your ideas for the next episode!

We held one another until she went to sleep, and I realized that all of the practicing was starting to work. I really understood how to treat a woman. Turning my head, I managed to sneak a peek at the clock, excited because we had just had sex for two hours. In my early stages of sex, the importance of length and sex wasn’t important. Now this was a great importance. It always seemed that women wanted men who went longer, but it was soon realized it’s the performance within the time rather than the length itself.

Afterwards, dressed and on the sofa, we talked for a long time about life, parents, and our futures. It was weird because we knew that something just happened; however, it was not the basis of our relationship. Seems we served a need in our lives with one another. The feeling was comfortable and what happened really opened up our relationship. That night, I learned so much about her. Neither one of us wanted to go to sleep and waste a beautiful night. She began to talk about her upbringing and many other details of her life.

Nico was raised by her father when her mom ran off. Her mom didn’t want the responsibility of raising her, but her father had no problem with raising her. Since the age of one, he raised her to be this beautiful young woman dependent on no one, especially men. She spoke of him reverently and made it clear that he was the most important man in her life. Listening to her, a bit of jealousy entered my mind. It sounded truly wonderful to be that close to your parent, especially your father. Once we touched on the topic of her mother, she immediately grew angry. The anger wasn’t from her dad saying negative things, but from the mothers’ inability to try and communicate with her through the years. She quickly switched to me and wondered how in the world my road ended with Aisha. The only thing to say is that I didn’t know any better and we progressed to a different conversation.

Nico told me that she was in love with her boyfriend and hoped that there was no misunderstanding. “You just had sex with me, so I’m cool,” I replied. She laughed it off, clear that there were no expectations. Sex and love don’t have to coexist. Besides, her boyfriend meant nothing to me. The two of them were always fighting and that was the relationship she was familiar with. If that was what she wanted, who was I to say anything different. The one thing one could admire is her honesty about the situation. She would always tell the truth and she learned that from her father. The thought of sleeping with her was good enough for me. The idea of casual sex with no feelings involved was new for me. Nico and her boyfriend were on hiatus. If this is what it took for me to reap benefits then so be it.

The respect for her grew greater and greater every time we would spend time. We didn’t misunderstand that night at all, nor did I loose respect for her for sleeping with me. The concept of casual sex was something understood by us both. She had a boyfriend she spent years with, and my direction in life was not to be tied down. She understood that and it was appreciated. Yet, the sex we had was, in her words, “Something that might need to be revisited.” Nico was growing and changing just like me, so we were kind of growing and experimenting together. However, the day after could’ve destroyed our friendship before it got started.

The next day would prove more interesting than the previous night.

To be continued……………..

“Sinners have a Soul Too” is on every Monday at 9am EST. Please participate in the show by leaving comments and suggestions about the show or what you think it should happen next! Our author might consider your ideas for the next episode!

Nico tilted her head slightly. The two of us kissed passionately as our tongues embraced one another. For the next 7 minutes, we would embrace orally, lost in the passion of the kiss. She had a tenderness about her that made the kiss romantic, smooth, and gentle. Her body leaned slowly back on the couch as my hands braced for the angle. There is a point where the kiss can take things to the next level and we were approaching that level.

Pausing for a brief moment, our eyes met, seeing that she was ready to move forward. My arms gracefully picked her up from the couch and carried her to the bedroom. Our eyes connected and spoke to one another, moving to the bedroom. All the skills and little additives Lisandria taught me came into play, even as simple as releasing her beautiful breasts from her bra. My right hand slowly slid up the back of the shirt, and released her bra with one pinch of the two sides, snapping release the bra hooks. Lisandria taught me that everything is romantic if you make it, as well as removing the clothes from a woman. As Tanico laid on the bed, the removal of her clothes seemed to excite her more so. As my eyes looked over her beautiful body, it was hard to not get wrapped up in the magnificence of her beauty. Every part of her body was massaged with my hands, as I kissed her up and down her back, softly caressing her body. She laid on her stomach, while my lips massaged her gently from head to toe. Part of me couldn’t believe we were doing this. She deserved so much more, but I was starting to believe that for myself as well.

My mind was moving in so many different directions. Being in tune with my surroundings was the focus of the night. The room was covered in crimson red, from the comforter to the pillows we so passionately tossed to the floor. The perfume she wore emitted this soft berry scent mixing with my “Obsession” fragrance. There was already the blueberry oil burning in the small crystal burner. Arising from the bed, the rhythms of jazz were turned on for ambience. With my body moving rhythmically, she gazed at me from across the bed. This was my chance to ignite the candles on the mantle and on both sides of the bed without discontinuing the thought of us sharing in a beautiful moment that would last forever in our minds, instead of just stopping and leaving her on the bed without a thought. Her eyes locked on to my abdomen and followed my hand as it moved across my chest and back down. Taking a hold of her hand and placing it on my abdomen, she moved with a softness that only enticed me more. It’s my job to help her understand that we are here together to celebrate our passion. My hands assist her, and the sound from her mouth told a story of a woman who is ready to be loved. The nigh would prove a challenge for both of us since we both were recovering from being hurt.

To be continued…………..

“Sinners have a Soul Too” is on every Monday at 9am EST. Please participate in the show by leaving comments and suggestions about the show or what you think it should happen next! Our author might consider your ideas for the next episode!

Again, Nico gave me a hard time when we met, possibly because she was having a hard time with her boyfriend. The two of them had broken up again, which would’ve made that six times in a year. She was visibly unhappy with him; however, didn’t voice it much out of respect. The unhappiness is obvious because of the amount of time she spent away from him. Sometimes we discussed the subject, but she was evasive when it came to details. As our time together increased, it seemed like we had always been friends. Something in us clicked. The two of us really enjoyed one another; maybe more than we should have.

We sat on the sectional couch watching videos and remembering when we were younger. She looked upset about how her relationships never worked, especially this last one. The conversation was a bit more intrusive with me asking all kind of personal questions and Nico answering. For the first time, I felt there was a mutual attraction. There is this feeling you have when you just know that the other person is attracted to you. A level of curiosity hovered in the air as we moved from discussions about childhood, relationships, to sexual encounters. This is where I allowed her to monopolize the discussion as she voiced her opinions on how a woman should be treated. Her neck became exposed and just the vision of the soft hair on her neck excited me. Questions filled my head such as, what her agenda was tonight? Obviously she wanted me to do or say something. We moved closer and closer as the conversation continued. The television watched us while we became wrapped into the aura of the night. My nails began to rub the skin on the back of her neck, testing her for a response, and moving to the rhythm of her voice. As my fingers tips moved, her neck moved to the direction of my fingers, turning in a circular motion. Nico didn’t seem like the type of woman that you could just have sex with. At that moment, it was purely for her relaxation. She was just a good person who deserved so much.

My nails continued to run slowly down the back of her neck just to relax her. There were simple sounds coming from her mouth, feeling and looking so relaxed. Lisandria explained to me that everything was in a kiss; therefore the moment must be seized. What could it hurt? The worst she could say is no.

“A kiss could determine if you have sex or if you don’t. The power of a sensual kiss can have a woman thinking about what else is in store. A kiss can invoke thoughts of pleasure and sexuality. Use that as your advantage.”

This thought flooded my mind as my thoughts turned sexual, admiring her beauty and sensuality. The next move would surprise me more than anything. This young man decided to take the initiative and take our friendship to that next level, ignoring previous experience. The situation seemed perfect as the dimmed light penetrated the lampshade. The moment presented itself, as we looked into one another’s eyes. Her lips moved, talking about her fantasy. I leaned forward slowly, hoping she would stop talking to allow the kiss. A smile appeared, with the corner of her mouth turned up. “What are you doing?” she asks. “Waiting for you to say it’s okay,” I replied.

To be continued……………….

“Sinners have a Soul Too” is on every Monday at 9am EST. Please participate in the show by leaving comments and suggestions about the show or what you think it should happen next! Our author might consider your ideas for the next episode!

As the years progressed, I found it no easier to know how to talk to or treat women. A friend of mine, Lisandria, decided to show me the secret to women. She would teach me how to talk, treat, and understand what a woman expects of me. One afternoon, Lisandria introduced me to her best friend by the name of Tanico, which would open the door to new opportunities. Tanico was a special kind of woman, but in first meeting her, she tended to get on my nerves. She would always try to bring me down telling me, “You aren’t all that. You think you look so good.” The phrase, “I look good” never came out of my mouth. Maybe she thought my appearance was nice and began the art of “hatricity.” It amazes me that people treat others like this just by looking at them. Why she would say that or why others would say that to me in the future was always a mystery.

Nico and I started off a bit rocky and managed to tolerate one another after some time. The three of us would hang together on weekends. There was nothing for me to do at the time, so why not waste time with beautiful women. After all my other failed attempts, I was unsure of myself. Life goes on as they say and Nico would assist in this endeavor. My eyes could not avoid the fact that she was beautiful. Tanico was 5’6, about 120 pounds, caramel colored skin, and beautiful brown eyes. She had this short hair style that fit her face and put you in the mind of Lisa Raye. Her frame was slim in the waist, yet her hips were a nice width. She was truly a beautiful young woman and it was my luck to be around her.

After a while, Tanico, Lisa, and I began to hang together on a normal basis. Lisandria informed me that it was time for me to branch out and try some things with other women. It felt as if she was rejecting me and wanted to pawn me off. However, my assumption was far from the truth. Apparently, Lisandria had loaned me out to Tanico. She felt it necessary to tell Tanico how much fun we would have together. Lisa had a point behind everything she did, but this one had me clueless. Was she trying to pawn both of us off on one another because she was tired? Lisa said she just needed for me to believe in myself, and it would show that I was an attractive and fun person. What Lisa told Tanico wasn’t told to me until after the fact. Lisa asked her to just hang out with me to help boost my self-esteem. Lisandria was also helping Nico search for her inner person.

The two of us hit it off well after starting off rocky, being that we thought we were two different individuals. Tanico spent time with Lisa for the same reasons I spent time with her. In a way, the two of us fed off of Lisa and her energy. She taught both of us lessons about relationships and we both aspired to be like her, although Nico wouldn’t admit this. We were young and unclear of what we needed. Tanico was shy, but tried to act like she was very outgoing. We talked or should I say she talked and really began to show me who she really was. Tanico wasn’t too far from the person she sat across the table from. She was a shy young woman, with not many friends, dependant on the guidance of Lisandria, yet she acted as if she wasn’t following Lisa. She would continue to give me a hard time about my looks, yet I knew it was a defense mechanism. The weird thing is how listening to her, my mind began to find cues that alert you to how women are truly. Often time’s women tell you what you want to hear to get with you and my ears listened closely to what she was saying. Hearing contradictions and fantasy helped me understand that she wanted to be something she wasn’t. This was my next lesson from Lisandria, and it would show great value. It isn’t as if she explained everything to me, but some of the things she would mention stuck. Tanico was trying to hide who she really was. However; Nico never lied to me about anything, just avoided certain things.

Tanico and I would initially see one another in meetings over Lisa’s home. Watching movies or just playing cards, we found out much about one another in idle conversation. She thought she was the “dawg” when playing spades and talked enough shit for all of us. Eventually, the two of us would break out on our own with going to the mall or maybe catching a movie when Lisa pulled out. We would often forget that she was actually married. I believe that we only started spending time with one another because we didn’t have shit else to do. We both were boring as hell. Above all, I can say we really enjoyed one another. When your life is shitty, you tend to form a bond with someone whose life is as shitty.

One evening at my apartment, Tanico and I decided to hang out. After a couple of months getting to know one another, we were pretty cool. To play it cheap, we chose to relax at my apartment and watch television. All my eyes could do was stealthily stare at her beautiful face, as she sat to the right of me watching television. Her beauty was enhanced by those deep brown eyes, curvaceous beautiful body, brown colored skin, soft pleasant lips, and a soft voice.

To be continued……………….

“Sinners have a Soul Too” is on every Monday at 9am EST. Please participate in the show by leaving comments and suggestions about the show or what you think it should happen next! Our author might consider your ideas for the next episode!

‘I wanted to be with you so bad and it was even worse when we did it. See, you are still playing games. You just realized you weren’t happy with him, and want to be with me now, plain and simple!’

‘You got up and left!’ She screamed.

‘Because you had a boyfriend! The same dude you talked about right after we were done and the dude you with now while you telling me you love me!’

‘Please don’t yell,’ as she started crying. ‘You have so many things you wanted to do and it just didn’t seem like you wanted a relationship with me.’

‘With you! I would have done it with you in a minute then. You heard me say it. We wouldn’t have fucked then.’

‘What about now?’ She asked.

‘Forget about your boyfriend!’

‘You know you are the one that I want,’ she replies.

‘Actions show better than words. Can’t believe you with a baby and a man to go with it.’

‘The baby isn’t his anyway.’

‘What?’ I yelled. ‘You have just been all over the place.’

‘Don’t even try it. Now you are trying to hurt me and that is not fair’ she explained.

She was right in saying that my goal was to try and hurt her. She deserved it in my eyes because of all the secrecy.

‘Why do you think I did not call you,’ she replied.

‘Feelings of guilt.’

‘Yes.’

‘You think I would have judged you or something. Women have babies; at least Derrick is taking care of it. Get the real father to take care of it too.’

‘It is not fair for me to do that since Derrick thinks the baby is his and the father is out of reach.’

‘Sharon, how could you do that? You are way smarter than the way you acting.’

‘It is difficult because I want to tell him but he really takes care of me,’ she explains.

‘Like he has been doing. Do you love him?’ I asked.

‘My heart cares for him and loves you. I am not asking you to be with me now, but when you are ready, me and the baby will be waiting for you.’

‘WHAT!’

‘Rajah, I wanted to tell you so bad, but…….’

‘You are saying that the baby is mine. Is that what you are saying? Please say that is not what you are saying!’

‘I have tried to tell you!’

‘My parents are going to whoop my ass!’

My legs became weak and my stomach began to turn, as my youth seem to be yanked from me at that moment. As we stood there, Sharon crying and this young man feeling sorry for himself, I began to realize that eight months of pregnancy were missed, the birth and the first few days. Something inside of me realized that she cheated me out of the experience that should have been mine and that another man, who stood in my way yet again, was claiming my child.

‘Why didn’t you tell me?!’

‘You have so much you want to do that I did not want to get in the way’ she replied.

‘You must think I am stupid. That is some dumb shit you talking.’

‘When you calm down I will talk to you. Don’t just walk away from me! We need to fix this.’

‘There is not much more to say. This is not something that we can talk about now’ I stated. ‘What am I supposed to do? You tell me there is a child that is mine and I don’t even know if it is a boy or a girl.’

‘He is very beautiful and favors his daddy. Don’t worry we will talk about it.’

‘Talk about what? I’m leaving it up to you. I’m not going to call you about this.’

‘I promise that we will take care of this,’ she calmly stated and walked away.

As she pulled away, she uttered the words “I love you,” leaving me to wonder what in the world just happened. In less than twenty minutes I found out that my friend was off, there was a chance I was a father, and that she supposedly loves me. As time progressed, she avoided me and we did not speak on this issue. Therefore, the friend that I once shared was no more and the son that I had did not know his father. The question was: Do I tell my parents? It was clear there was no reason to get them upset; therefore, they were not told. My life would continue to be led as the senior year grew closer and closer to the end. Ericka was my new focus and that is where my concentration would be placed. There was nothing more of the past that needed to be examined. It was time to move into a new frontier, which was the future.

To be continued…………..

“Sinners have a Soul Too” is on every Monday at 9am EST. Please participate in the show by leaving comments and suggestions about the show or what you think it should happen next! Our author might consider your ideas for the next episode!

One afternoon, Ericka came by my house to see me with a friend of hers. It was funny because my appearance was terrible, yet she still found me appealing. There was a tight ass t-shirt on my frame, some loose shorts that exposed my hairy legs, and a fade that had grown in all the way. She didn’t seem to mind though. We talked briefly as she stared and my eyes stared right back. By this time, the senior year is almost coming to a close. We were in the month of May, waiting for the weather to really come together. Once she left, this body jumped in the shower and ran out to our local music store, the “Music Planet.” The place was a little over priced, but this was before Circuit City. My mood was so good and unshakable. Upon leaving, my eyes sight a mutual friend of Sharon and me, so we stopped to say hello to one another. Trina was her name, and we talked about everything under the sun, including Sharon. Trina brought to my attention that Sharon had changed. It was shocking to hear because Sharon was so grounded, but my assumptions got the best of me. It was not that she changed mentally; she changed physically because she had a baby on the way. All my mind could think was “What the hell?” She couldn’t call me to tell me or write a letter to let me know. After hearing this news from Trina, I immediately ran home and called Sharon to talk. Unfortunately, it was still difficult to get through, so my idea changed to acting like I was someone else. When calling about an hour later, I chose to impersonate Derrick.

‘Hello.’

‘Can I speak to Sharon?’

‘Whose calling?’ her mother asked.

‘Derrick.’

As if her mom had an attitude, she slammed the phone down and called for Sharon. Low and behold, she yelled back and headed for the phone.

‘Hello.’

‘Hello, how are you?’

‘Fine. Who is this?’ she asked.

‘This is your long lost friend Rajah.’

‘Oh my god! You know don’t you?’

‘Yes I do and it’s a shame that I had to find out from someone else.’

‘I swear you were going to find out from me.’

‘Whatever. You never returned my calls anyway and when I called an hour ago, you didn’t take the call. So now what?’

‘I wasn’t ready to tell you.’ She explained.

‘It doesn’t matter. I just wanted to make sure you were okay, so I will talk to you later.’

‘No wait! We need to talk!’

‘No. I’m tired of being on your time. You didn’t have the decency to call me after all this time so what could we possibly need to talk about?’

‘Please…We need to talk about something.’

‘Hold on just a second.’

The phone clicks and the call is for my mother, so clicking back over, Sharon was informed that we would talk later. There were no intentions for me to call her back.

‘Sharon, this is for my mom, so we can talk later.’

‘You swear!’

‘No! I will talk to you later.’

Clicking back over, there was no guilt in my heart for what just happened. My reaction was because my heart was hurt that she could not call me to talk. It would be more months before the two of us would actually have a conversation. The funny thing is she actually came to my high school after school to hunt me down and speak to me about her problems more than likely.

Coming out of my fifth period heading home because of the co-op, she was in the parking lot. The resilience she showed to catch up with me was very impressive, but the fact of the matter is she hurt me and for that she would be treated as such. Her appearance was no different than the last time we saw one another, so apparently she had the baby. You would never think she had a baby. If a female had a baby when I was that age, you did not want to have anything to do with them. This conversation had to be about Derrick. Her body was leaned against her car, with her arms crossed, as if she was bent on talking with me.

‘Hey Rajah.’

‘Hi.’

‘Can we talk just for a moment? There’s something that you have to know.’

‘Go ahead and talk.’

‘Okay. I understand that you are angry with me and you have every right to be angry because things could have been handled better. The last time we spoke, really cleared up some things for me. This may sound stupid but I really care about you. NO. I am not going to say that anymore. I love you, and I know you love me’ she says in a soft voice. That night we made love really made me feel so good inside, and it made me know that we need each other. To be sure of my feelings, Derrick and I slept together finally and it was not the same. You have always been there for me and that is missed. I know the games were too much, and I’m sure that is how you feel, but……”

What words could you put together in a situation like this? My heart could not reciprocate the same feelings back to her, yet she continued to talk.

‘These are things you need to know. Where I wanted to go was not where you wanted to go, so I made a decision to stop. Does that make sense?’

‘No,’ I responded.

‘God this is hard. I wanted to be with you but you did not want to be with me.’

‘Sharon, that is bullshit and you know it. I wanted to be with you so bad and it was even worse when we did it. See, you are still playing games. You just realized you were not happy with him, and want to be with me now, plain and simple!’

To be continued…………….

“Sinners have a Soul Too” is on every Monday at 9am EST. Please participate in the show by leaving comments and suggestions about the show or what you think it should happen next! Our author might consider your ideas for the next episode!

Upon doing so, I realized that this was the first time she has ever had sex, outside of the rape, so it was important that whatever we do has to be soft, loving, and sincere. We were young and there were no thoughts about what Derrick thought, etc. There is not much to say about that day because we laid in the bed together longer than we had sex. Once we were done, she lay her head on my chest and we both fell to sleep. My thoughts were not about the moment we shared.

Upon waking, with her head on my chest, she began to talk about Derrick and the fact that we were getting closer to graduating. That’s something to start talking about: the boyfriend after we had sex.

‘Derrick is coming over tonight,” she said plainly.

‘I guess it’s time for me to go.’

‘No! Stay for a while longer.’

‘Well, your boyfriend is coming and I don’t want to be in the middle!’

‘Don’t act like that’ she replied.

‘Sharon, I understand what happened. I’m not trippin. I don’t want you to have to deal with mess.’

‘Don’t worry. Let’s just lay here for a while longer. Please. Anyway, are you still thinking about college?’

‘Yes….Going away would be so nice and I’m trying to make it happen.’

‘Derrick is going to Washington State or something. He wants me to come to school with him.’

‘Are you going to go?’ I asked.

‘Don’t know.’

‘Man…..We are getting there fast aren’t we?’

‘Yup.’

‘This may sound crazy, but I’m not in love with Derrick.’

‘What!? Then why are you with him then?’ I ask.

‘He is safe and a nice guy. I wish we would have got it straight because this feels right’ she muttered.

‘You know I’m not going to tell you what to do, but just make the right decision.’

Sharon had so much on her mind as usual. My real response to her would have been selfish. There was no doubt in my mind that she wanted to be with me, but at that point, it felt as if she was choosing between the two of us, sizing me up so the speak. She sat still in the bed exposed, and it took everything not to look at her defined body. Talk about feeling less than yourself. At that point, I made a decision to leave the bed and head home.

‘Where are you going?’ She asked.

‘Have to get home, plus Derrick is coming by.’

‘You really don’t have to go’ she stated.

‘Yes, I need to go now.’

She knew that my feelings were hurt and tried to make me feel better but the damage was done. We shared a special moment and she tarnished it by talking about her boyfriend and letting me know that she may be moving away. I did not even allow her time to get out of the bed. My clothes were on, even though clean up was needed, leaving was more important.

On the way home, my mind was cluttered full of thoughts as to what will happen next. The two of us had been through so much and it would be sad to end it like this. It was important that my feelings be the same so she does not think that my temperament towards her has changed. Little did I know that was not even a worry that should have been present. Sex always changes things. That following day, Sharon and I did not speak nor did we speak the day after that. There were many times when she never returned phone calls. Imagine the frustration in my body as that phone was never answered or she was never there. As the months went by, it was apparent that she made her decision. Mutual acquaintances would tell me how she was doing and it was nice to know. Her and Derrick were as happy as they could be, which paved the way for my time to date. Suddenly the year was slipping away and the friend that shared so many times with me was gone. The year of senior status was upon me and fast. Months had passed by since the two of us spoke until she was a distant memory. Dating began to reappear in my mind and unexpectedly, there was someone in my sights. Ericka would be a thought in my mind over and over, but she seemed to keep slipping away from me so I thought.

To be continued…………….

“Sinners have a Soul Too” is on every Monday at 9am EST. Please participate in the show by leaving comments and suggestions about the show or what you think it should happen next! Our author might consider your ideas for the next episode!