Expert advice to get your relationships back on track
(yesterday)
I wake up from a fitful night’s sleep, glad that it is time to get up and begin my day. While still half-awake, I feel into my dreams to see if there is anything important there, but the dreamscape is silent.Over the past few nights I’ve been working a lot in my dreams, getting downloads of unconditional love, so I suppose it’s okay to have a dreamless night! Still, I feel a little disappointment that I have nothing to mull over.
I know you have all heard of foreplay, but how many have heard of sexual post play? Well, I am here to tell you if you follow my suggestions for post play; you will become a hero in the bedroom. You will be talked about by your wife or girlfriend. That’s right, women talk about us and how we do in the bedroom as well. They just don’t tell you about it. They also talk to me in my job as a marriage, relationship and sexual coach. I hear that you guys just roll over and go to sleep leaving your women too often unsatisfied and unable to sleep and feeling ignored and left out.
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* This article contains information of a sexual nature. Before you can continue to read this article you must read and agree to the following. By clicking the link “Read More”, you signify that you agree to the following terms:
One night while with my girlfriend, we decided like most couples to try something new to spice up our love life. There are so many shall we say educational tools as well as new techniques to discover and explore. I think it’s a healthy part of any relationship because as two consenting adults everything at the very least should be open to discussion. It doesn’t mean that it has to be done but at least ladies, let your imagination run wild from time to time and talk about your fantasies with your partner. Now of course having a healthy sexual appetite and living a BDSM lifestyle are 2 different animals. I believe if you are open to trying new things? You will find a wonderful buffet with a variety of flavors and spices to discover.
We can learn a lot about human sexuality by studying humans; however, it is important to keep in mind that humans are just one animal species among the millions of species with whom we share our planet. To fully understand human sexuality, we must therefore examine it against the broad context of animal reproduction in general. In other words, the stories told to youngsters about the birds and the bees are far more germane and relevant than the people telling them might care to admit. Let’s take a look at some of the many ways that life on this fantastic planet keeps itself going from generation to generation.
If animals could talk, most any animal you asked would tell you that human sexuality is more than a little aberrant by their standards. As I just said above, fully appreciating just how different human sexuality is requires setting aside our human-centric thinking to look at humans as just another animal among all animals. Only 3% of mammals are monogamous and this percentage plummets when one considers the many millions of animal species in the world. This one trait alone places humans far beyond the +/-2 standard deviations from the mean that is generally considered to be the “normal” range for statistical purposes.
As I said last week, we need to get past our myriad customs, taboos, social mores, etc., to look at the physical human animal if we want to truly understand how men and women relate to each other and why. To do this, we need to look at how the human animal evolved and how those evolutionary pressures continue to affect our daily lives. If you think we’ve moved beyond our evolutionary history, think again: 99.99% of our 5.5 million year history took place before civilization. We may live in cosmopolitan cities and enjoy luxuries unimaginable to our ancestors but our brains remain wired for the primordial African jungle.
This is the second in a series of articles that will look at human sexuality and relationships from a purely evolutionary point of view and will compare and contrast that with the many layers of confusion that civilization has added on top of our evolved instincts.
Understanding why men and women relate to each other the way we do requires peeling back the layers of customs, taboos, social mores, etc., to look at the physical human animal. To best understand the human animal, we must examine the conditions under which we evolved and how those conditions manifest themselves into our daily lives. Doing this gives us a completely different picture of what a truly healthy relationship looks like because it begins with the most fundamental building blocks available and goes from there to its own conclusion.
This has been on my mind, and it’s time to start asking why. From the time we’re pre-teens, all the way till today, sex is like a dirty little secret that we’re not supposed to talk about. Yet, like most other things, the less we talk about it, the less we learn about it. It’s no wonder why so many couples are sexually unsatisfied, why children are having sex younger and younger, pregnancy and sexual disease are on the rise, and why more and more marriages are ending in divorce.
A question asked by many. The ideal of soul mates goes back to the days of Greek mythology and Zeus, who split all of the humans in half leaving them to search for their other half to complete each other. Theoretically, humans during this time had four legs, four arms, and two heads. Although researching Greek mythology, I have never seen pictures or drawings of humans with this configuration and many Greek statues have no arms. Generally speaking, there is a misconception about the meaning or the ideal of a soul mate. I find that most people think of a soul mate as their ideal partner, love, or the perfect one for them. The term soul mate is defined by many people very differently. One soul mate may have a different purpose in our life than another but typically it is a feeling of deep and natural affinity, intimacy, love, sexuality and/or compatibility. You may feel all of these or any combination toward someone.
Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil
Specialty: Book Author, Relationships
Location: NY, U.S.
Posts by Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil
