V Raj Asked:

“I have been married 2 years now. We knew each other for about 8months before we got married and moved in together after our marriage. My husband is very honest, helps me with our daily chores, we go out for dinner, shopping and movies together. But I do not find him romantic. I find his sex drive too low. We never had sex before marriage. Ever since we got married, we have sex utmost 3times a month. I feel like he is not attracted to me anymore. I am definite he is not cheating on me, but i do not get enough attention from him. He travels a lot and I anticipate his return, excited for him to be back home… but he is always in the same neutral mood. I find that a big turn off. I love him, but coz of the way things are I am starting to doubt myself. I do not know how much longer I will be able to hold on to this relationship. My question for you is – How do I make my relationship healthy? What can I do to improve the way things are?”

- V Raj (30)

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Scot Asked:

“I am 20 years old and my girlfriend is 19. We have been together for almost five years. we are not living together. we are both college students. the past couple of years have really been bad for our sex life. Right now we have sex maybe 2-3 times a month and even then it seems like a chore to her just to get me to stop asking. She claims she’s a sexual person and she said that I am not the problem. She recognizes the fact that she has a very low sex drive and blames it on being stressed, tired, not feeling good, etc. and we have talked about it before and I have explained how it makes me feel emotionally closed off from her. She says she will change because she feels bad and wants to have a better sex life…but…we have sex the next day…and then another couple of weeks will go by before we have sex again. My definition of sex is any kind of sex, oral or vaginal. Both are rare. We are getting to the point where we should be moving on with our relationship and getting engaged and all that, but the fact that I am not happy with our sex life is stopping me from really wanting that commitment. I have always felt that sex is a big part of a relationship. I know that I would not want to be married to her if this is going to be the peak of our sex life. If our sex life is not going to get better then I dont want to be with with her because my unhappiness will cause an overall unhappiness within the marriage. So i guess what I am asking is what should I do? Should I keep waiting for change? Or should i finally come to the realization that I’m simply beating a dead horse?

P.S. A few more facts about us:

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Let me get right to the point. “What’s stress got to do with sex”? Everything!! What? “Everything”! Absolutely!!! Stress is pretty high up there as on one of the top reasons for why couples are not having sex! So I thought it would be important to identify some stressors in our lives that might be getting in the way of, or actually completely killing, our sex drive.

Some people are capable of doing many things well while under stress; but being in the mood for sex and/or feeling sexy usually isn’t one of them.

So enough jabbering here and let’s get on with identifying 5 common stressors that decrease or eliminate one’s sex drive. (And remember, some of these sex drive killers have nothing to do with how you feel about your partner – what a sense of relief!).

… read more

Let me get right to the point. “What’s stress got to do with sex”? Everything!! What? “Everything”! Absolutely!!! Stress is pretty high up there as on one of the top reasons for why couples are not having sex! So I thought it would be important to identify some stressors in our lives that might be getting in the way of, or actually completely killing, our sex drive.

Some people are capable of doing many things well while under stress; but being in the mood for sex and/or feeling sexy usually isn’t one of them.

So enough jabbering here and let’s get on with identifying 5 common stressors that decrease or eliminate one’s sex drive. (And remember, some of these sex drive killers have nothing to do with how you feel about your partner – what a sense of relief!).

… read more

Jessica Asked:

“This guy that I like just recently agreed to be my boyfriend. The only problem is, we don’t live in the same state, neither of us have a car, and he seems to have lost his sex drive. I believe it may be because before we got together, whenever he wanted to engage in phone sex, I didn’t really give him the impression that I wanted it, though I did it anyway. So my question is, what are some things I can do to help him get his sex drive back, or what can I do to make him desire me again?”

- Jessica

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