Mitch Asked:

“I saw you reply to somebody with relationship troubles on an internet site, and just wondered if you could give me any help at all as I don’t know what to do.
A few months ago I am very ashamed to admit I took a video of my girlfriend of 3 months while she was getting ready. Whilst snooping on my laptop she found this video (which was in my recycle bin as I thought I had deleted it) and another of me and a friend watching a female dancer. She indirectly confronted me about videoing her and I lied saying I would never do something like that. (big mistake I know, but I didn’t want to lose her).
Since then she has directly confronted me and I told the truth, however she is naturally very hurt and finding it hard to trust me. She has very little confidence in herself and I want nothing more than for her to trust me so I can try and make her happy like we were before this.
I really love this girl with all my heart, I cry nearly every day knowing she doesn’t trust me any more, and I really don’t want to lose what we have got.
Can you offer any advice at all? It would be very much appreciated.

Thanks”

- Mitch (20, England)

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Shadez Asked:

“I loved a guy since my childhood, i’m 21 now and its almost 11 yrs from when i’ve fallen for him. but from the last few days i’m confused. my best friend says he loves me even i have something for him but i’m not sure its love because every time i get closer to him my childhood love pulls me back. i’ve never dated anyone because i just loved 1 guy in my life..but now..i don’t know what’s happening to me..what should i do? whom should i choose my childhood love or my best friend?? one more thing, the guy i loved never loved me but i still couldn’t give up my love for him…”

- Shadez (21, Delhi, India)

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To put it simply, divorce is never easy. Whatever the cause, if you choose to get out of the relationship or it came as a surprise, the end to a significant committed relationship can be a jarring experience that creates all kinds of negative emotions. However, there are ways to get through such a painful part of life. Even in this period of mourning and stress, it is an opportunity to learn and grow and to become stronger and wiser.

The Pain of Divorce

Divorce can be a painful process because it creates a sense of loss, either in the sense of losing a relationship, commitment or dreams. Even if it was a bad relationship, a marriage is founded on romantic love and hope for the future. The loss of such an ideal can create feelings of disappointment, guilt, and grief.

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David Asked:

“I broke up with my G/F about 8 weeks ago. she said she need a bit of space. and just wanted to be friends, I took it and tried playing it slow for about 4 weeks 1 letter a few text, then I phoned her. I started to grovel even cry, she just got angrier then I said i would wait even if she went out with other. she hang up and said to friend Im not a whore” In panic tried about 23 times to text and ring her shit nothing but friend text me hey stop now. So i did have spoken to friend twice since but she advised me to move on. I even tried a fake date text to her eg (Sent to her phone) Yes dinner at 7pm sounds nice (another girls name but starting with same letter) Nothihng HELP I REALLY LOVE THIS LADY AND WANT HER BACK
Thanks David”

- David (46, Longreach, QLD, Australia)

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Zach Asked:

“I’ve been seeing a girl for over a year, almost a year and a half on and off. I havn’t been the best boyfriend to her, one time I left her for another girl because I didn’t know what I wanted, but after a month I came back and worked things out. I really want to be with her, shes been very important and a big influence in my life. We almost had a kid about a 7 months ago, it ended in a miscarriage. After that she got fat and I would sometimes tease her about it. Once again, wrong of me. Very wrong. I just wanted to motivate her to loose wait. After we broke up this time I ended up meeting another girl. Multiple girls. And after about a week I relized that I wasn’t happy, I was just happy with her. So I spill my heart out to her, tell her I’m sorry for everything that I’ve done and I just want to fix everything and treat her like I should’ve the whole time and that I love her very much. She wants to take a break because she’s mad at me and she doesn’t know if she even wants to be with me. There are other guys involved with her at this point too. The werid thing is…. I call her up and we meet so that way maybe I can change things, maybe I can talk her into giving me another chance, make things right how they should be. And the last 3 times… In the end. She wanted no strings attached sex. She wanted me to have sex with her and know that she still wasn’t going to get back together with me. I’m not sure exactly how to take this or if theres really any hope in us getting back together. Aside from how mean I was sometimes.. I was also very sweet and made her smile. Made her feel like I loved her. Cause I do. Even til this day when I talk.. And I say something from the heart, her face melts and she smiles. Is there any hope for us?  Why does she want this? Why does she want casual sex and nothing else with me?”

- Zach (18, California)

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Sean Asked:

Anyone who has graduated from one of the top
psychology schools is encouraged to reply to this question.

“Hi Dr. Phil

I’m not sure i have a problem and would like you advice.
Im 26 years old and have been happily married for 2 years now. Recently i met a very friendly person and have been helping them to study for their GCSE’s as I am a math and Physics teacher.

This 16 yr old added me as a friend on facebook and started to talk to me. I am 100% certain that there is no sexual attraction or sexual tension in our chats we just enjoy each others company. This has affected my relationship with wife in a positive way as i became more affectionate and treat her better.

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Sneha Asked:

“hi, earlier i have asked question on my relationship with my husband. thanks for your suggestion. but still i have something to share and ask. from my in-law family my sister-in-law(i.e is my husband’s brother’s wife) does not talk nicely to me but in front of my husband she shows that she likes me very much. i dont like this dual face. earlier i have tried from myself to end this insecurity of my sister-in-law but now i got fade up of this. she did not like me and never try be a friend with me. now i think that i am having problems in between me and my husband just because of her. i know i have seen her dude behaviouer but my husband always like her. please help me to get rid of this problem. i want to live life with my husband happily forever.”

- Sneha (23, India)

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Shannon Asked:

“i have this friend. well guy ive been talking to since april of 2011. i am currently confused as to where i stand with him. its hard to get him to express himself but he always wants me to express my feelings and i dont think its fair. before we officially started talking he had been chasing after me for a couple months. i told him i want a relationship and if it isnt what he’s looking for then i dont want to be bothered with you. he says i do want a relationship and i would like to get to know you better. so we start spending alot of time together and talking all the time. a few months past now we’re in october and he’s starting to act different i stop seeing him as much and talking to him as often. i began to worry. i began to think he’s talking to someone else because he does have alot of female friends. so i tell him that he needs to tell me where i stand with you. well he doesnt give me an answer so i say well im not going to keep tagging along. you either tell me where i stand with you or thats it…so i dont talk to him for a few days maybe up until a week. he texts and tells me to stop acting mean, 0__o so we start talking and hanging out again. than it happens again i ask him does he talk to anyone else he tells me no.. well i found out that he did and i told him that it was over for him an i because he lied. he tells me well if you dont trust me than leave. so i say ok… i dont talk to him for another week or so.. he calls and says talk to me im sorry. i ended it with the girl. so i said ok…. and come to find out he really did end it with the girl i saw that myself…. but he’s doing it again becoming distant not tlking constantly.. lets fast forward a couple months its now february…i hadnt talk to him for maybe a couple weeks or so.. well i see him the night before valentines day and we spend the evening together.. well the next day which is valentines day he surprised me with a vday gift.. than the next weekend we go out.. now hes acting distant again.. this is drving me crazy. i dont know what he wants he doesnt tell me how he feel. he knows how i feel because i always tell him but he doesnt tell me anything. i dont know where i stand with him. i really need help.”

- Shannon (20, Baltimore, MD)

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Rachael Asked:

“Me & My Boyfriend Have been together for almost 3 years & we have a daughter together. we had a split up in July & he was in jail. i made a mistake. i had sex with another guy. when he asked if i had done anything during our small split i said no & now this guilt is tearing me up? idk what to do.”

- Rachael (18, MI)

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Emily Asked:

“Very shortly before I got together with my ex boyfriend, I slept with someone else.. I didn’t have any feelings for him or anything like that.. And he was in our same group of friends.. But after it happened, I didn’t really want anyone to know about it.. And when we were together i was kind of afraid to tell him because i thought it might make things awkward, and i thought he might not see me the same way anymore.. 5 Months passed and i started to feel guilty about it.. I had already felt guilty about it every time i thought about it, but i was feeling especially down and i was with my best friend, and i told him about it.. He’s also my exes best friend.. He promised he wouldn’t say anything, and i let him know that i wanted to let my ex know in my own time in my own way.. But he told him.. Now he doesn’t trust me for anything, and he’s practically said he hates me.. This person means the world to me and I want him to know I never wanted to hurt him.. It really kills me that I lost him and I want to know what I can do to get him to trust me again and let me back into his life..”

- Emily (20, US)

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