CONFIDENCE.That’s the key. If you have this, you can look and feel sexy. But how can you achieve that confidence in order to make your partner drool. Well, I will be giving you some tips. They are easy, and effective in most cases. Are you ready?

Improve your lifestyle. You have to start with yourself. In order to look good, you should feel good. If you are someone who goes out every night, wakes up with little sleep, eat junks and never exercise, I’m sure that you look a bit awful now. If not, then you must be great in putting on makeup. To make your partner drool, change into a healthier lifestyle. Eat the best foods, do some walking and you will have that nearly perfect skin and toned body. Because of the improvements that you will notice, you will slowly gain that confidence. You will need that to stay on ‘top’, if you know what I mean.

Make him miss you. If he always sees you, he might not notice the changes you are going through. He will not be able to detect if you changed your hairstyle, or you lose some pounds. What you can do is to make him miss you. For those who are not living together, don’t meet him for a couple of weeks. If you are under one roof, you can just ask a ‘day off’ or a quick vacation. Sleep in your friend’s house or go somewhere else. Make use of that time to improve yourself. Go shopping or get a new hair color. He will be surprised on your next meeting because of your self-improvements.

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Most relationships follow a similar pattern. They start off in a wild frenzy of passion and emotion, then slowly evolve into a routine characterized by comfort and familiarity – and some even become as “safe” as the million-dollar security system. While that progression isn’t completely bad, it can take its toll in certain areas – like intimate activities.

Even the closest couples go through a lull in their relationships. But it doesn’t take a lot to bring the enthusiasm and mystery back into the bedroom (and other rooms of the house!). Here are seven suggestions for spicing up your love life.

1. Start by doing something nice. Grand gestures are great, but it’s easier to do a small task or provide a tiny perk – and it may be just as effective. It can be as simple as doing the dishes or bringing your loved one a drink.

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Most relationships follow a similar pattern. They start off in a wild frenzy of passion and emotion, then slowly evolve into a routine characterized by comfort and familiarity – and some even become as “safe” as the million-dollar security system. While that progression isn’t completely bad, it can take its toll in certain areas – like intimate activities.

Even the closest couples go through a lull in their relationships. But it doesn’t take a lot to bring the enthusiasm and mystery back into the bedroom (and other rooms of the house!). Here are seven suggestions for spicing up your love life.

1. Start by doing something nice. Grand gestures are great, but it’s easier to do a small task or provide a tiny perk – and it may be just as effective. It can be as simple as doing the dishes or bringing your loved one a drink.

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Marki Asked:

“I recently started hanging out with this guy from work who just got out of a 2 year relationship (first love) and was dating someone way below his intelligence level. We’ve hung out a few times, and make out everytime we hang out. We’ve almost gone all the way, but haven’t. He says he enjoys my company, looks at me constantly at work, and goes out of his way to talk to or look at me, and also jokes about us doing some pretty serious things together. He seems to be pretty attached to me, but has made it clear that we can only be “just friends” yet he says I’m everything he wants in a partner. Does he just want to be friends with benefits or something more?”

- Marki (22, Carlisle, OH)

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Megumi Asked:

“Hi, I am a girl (19) and I just wanted to know if this is considered cheating.

My boyfriend went to a tennis match and it was a over night event. His friend invited girls and they all drank alcohol. My boyfriend got really thirsty and he continued drinking the alcohol. He became really drunk and ended up sleeping beside a girl when everybody went to sleep. He scooted closer to her and she did, too. She put his arms around her and she snuggled on him when his eyes were closed. After a minute or less/more, he moved away. She kissed his cheek and ear. She asked him to kiss her on her forehead, and he did. When she tried to kiss his lips or hold his hands, he felt really guilty at the point and looked away, saying “no!”. When she asked him if kiss on the lips was prohibited and he said “no” again and moved away from her. When he woke up, he felt really guilty and confessed to me (crying) that day when he came back.

The thing is, he loves snuggling and he actually “wanted” to snuggle with her. He also felt really close with her when they were talking. Is this cheating and should I stay with him?”

- Megumi (19, Tokyo, Japan)

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Pablo Asked:

“Need bottom-line opinions…

Basically, I’m on exchange in Switzerland as a latin american student coming from a Swedish University. Since the first night of my ongoing party week here (kind of a freshman week), I met a cute German girl who also comes on exchange from a Swedish uni. I have to say that I am a really good looking guy used to superficial hookups; Yea, one night-stands, and I’m not proud of it. I’m just used to get drunk and keep it simple, but for some reason, this girl added me on facebook, talks to me all the time, and invites me to events (again, a busy party introduction week in this small Swiss town).

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Confused Asked:

“So here is my dilemma, I have been married for 4 years and our relationship is not perfect but for the most part it has been great, except for my wifes low sex drive, she seems to enjoy it when we do have sex but does not want it for months on end, she is 27 yrs old. The other problem i have is with her lesbian co-worker who clearly has a crush on her, and my wife loves to hang out with her and her other work friends, also i am never invited. It always seems that hanging out with this group of friend is always the highest on her list, for example the oher day she came back from a 3 day conference and the same evening she tells me she wants to hang out with those friends ( they were not at the conference) I tell her i rather have here with me, she tells me i can come too but obviously does not mean that, and when i put my foot down she still goes. Now this causes a huge fight, when we start talking about it, she finally says that she wants to hang out with these people by herself, i ask her why can i not be invited and maybe they can be our mutual friend, she has no answer, just keeps repeating these i my friends and if u were with me then it would not be the same. I have had no problems with this in the past with her other girl friends she having girls night etc. But with this group of people it is a no no, Makes me even more suspicious about the nature of her relationship with her lesbian friend. She assures me there is nothing going on and that she is not interested in girls, but when push comes to shove she always goes to bat for her over me!! Please tell me i am not crazy for thinking what I am thinking. Also I should mention that they usually hang out at a friends house, not the lesbian friend’s but another guy from the group. Also i recently lost my job so I have been home a lot. Also i did read her text messages from this lesbian girl and they were very flirty when i asked her about this she said she is like this with everyone, and now has started deleting all her texts from her.
Please help me, i need to know if there is anything going on here and should i be worried in her sudden need for exclusiveness.”

- Confused (31)

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Gina Asked:

“In 2006 I met a guy called Rich he had a brother (Mario) that lived next to me and I thought he was cute. I told rich i know you brother he lives around my home. eventually I met (mario) he had a girl. but we slept together anyways. I was on the rebound at the time. after that time it never happen again. now 2010 I meet Rich for the 1st time. it was a connection we felt it. but i know is wrong to want to date the brother now, I think it would not be right morally, we start getting to know each other. Rich knows what happen between me and his brother and at 1st I’m sure he wanted to just sleep with me till he got to know me. So about a few weeks ago we hit it off we took it there. we were intimate it was great, wonderful etc. I really like him he said that with his brother situation in the middle things would be difficult but he knew this from the beginning but got intimate anyways. after that happen we have been in contact by phone only but have not seen each other. He told me would i deal with him if the tables were turn. I said I didn’t know. Someone told me in order for that to work between Rich & you he has to ask the Brother Mario for his OK. b/c that will always haunt him the fact that you and his brother were intimate even if it was only one time. I want to know why would he keep contact with me even after what happen between us everyday he says Good morning to me. I like him a lot but I am confused. and i know this is not right but, why continue to give hope to something that might never be. Can he just be trying to be nice about it even though he looks like a jerk anyway.”

- Gina (35, Bronx, NY)

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That’s right, recently someone’s wife made a very public declaration about a certain someone (her husband) doing whatever he wanted, wherever he wanted that she apparently didn’t like…at all! We know this because she lopped off his junk (slang for penis) then ground it into a pulp. Yeeewouch.? I think I used to be funnier than I am now. I’m not sure if that’s true but it feels true. And I am not exactly sure what happened or when, but it might have something to do with the fact that it’s scarier now to be decidedly anything…out loud. Including satirical blogger, politician or…someone’s husband!? For sure there are more immediate consequences we all face for saying (or doing ) whatever we want, wherever and whenever we want, particularly because more people are watching and listening than ever before. But not since Lorena Bobbitt have we seen so publically such a cruel and heinous act performed by a woman scorned. Typically we witness women one after another “standing by their man”; examples are Hillary Clinton, Mrs. Edwards, and most recently Weiner’s wife (no pun intended). Yet it looks like the tides are turning.  Some women are respecting themselves in a way that makes them simply no longer willing to endorse this bad behavior. Like Maria Shriver Schwarzenegger, and Tiger Woods’ (again no pun intended) now ex-wife. While these reformists have more in common than their husbands’ prophetic surnames, we can only hope this pendulum finds a happy medium to “bone collecting,” and sooner rather than later! Anyway, I don’t want to have to start coming up with nicknames for the results of lopping guys’ Johnsons off, like “He got a Willy Wonka” or “He’s dead meat,” etc. Because, well, it’s just really not funny.?? Still there are some people who seem less concerned about showing lust or desire (or haven’t watched the news lately). Like last week when my husband and I were seated at the bar in a local French bistro. Keep in mind that the bar is teeny and the restaurant is smack in the middle of a bedroom community. My point is, this is no city bar or local watering hole. So you’re more likely to see a young kid at the bar having a French hamburger than the 3 men behaving badly I am about to describe.

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My articles have taken me on some very interesting adventures over the years, beginning in 1996 with “Hello Ms. Heartbreak” to “In Search of Cinderella” in early 2005. But I never thought that in all my experiences I would be writing a story about “The Zebra in My Heart”.

Now don’t worry all the stories still have the same thing in common… loving women…it’s all about finding that special someone in our lives. Whether it is destined to last forever and other’s lasting for what only seems like stolen moments. We might call them by different names but we all hope to find the yin to our yang. The counterpart that just fits and makes it seem like this is the person; I’ve been waiting for my whole life.

Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought of a romantic interest as a zebra, so let me explain my thought process to you dear reader. All my life I have searched for the elusive femme of my dreams, a strong, independent, sexy lady confident in who she is and who is ultimately searching for her butch counter-part. A lipstick femme who revels in who she is, loving her make-up, clothes, sexy heels and all the other accoutrements that bring butches like myself to our knees.

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