Donald Asked:

“So I work with this girl that I can’t take my mind off of. I don’t really work closely with her on a daily basis, but we work in the same building. I did some work for her the other day, and when she asked me how much she owed me for my time, I said I’d like to take her out to dinner. To which she replied “dinners not a problem, but the “what if” could be a problem”. I interjected that her boyfriend might not approve, to test the waters and see how she responded to try and determine if she indeed does have a boyfriend and she basically just repeated what she said before. At this time I more or less changed the subject because I didn’t know what to say. I’m really interested in this girl. This girl has a small child from another relationship, which I feel she may be concerned with picking the right person to let into their lives and maybe that’s why she sort of rejected me. I try to talk to her almost daily and I often can’t concentrate on my own job because I know she’s in the building and maybe if I have a chance to see her I might be able to say the right thing and strike up her interest in me. I really would like to find a way to resolve this by either asking her again or just plain out asking if she is interested in me at all, so If not I can move on and focus on my job the way I’m accustomed to . I need some good advice, from the females probably. I probably sound like a weirdo with this long post but I am lost and have not been on the dating scene for a number of years. Should I be persistent and pursue her further or does her “half” rejection really mean “no” and I can get on with my life?”

- Donald (28, Winnipeg)

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Bill Asked:

“My wife and I have been together for 17 years (5 years dating, 12 years of marriage).

10 years ago, my wife and her friend got really drunk. Her friend and I kissed briefly. I do not remember but I took my wife’s word for it. Ever since then, our marriage has been rocky and she brings that situation up in every fight.

She has never cheated on me before and since that incident I have always been loyal, My wife and I have sex but fight all the time. We just started marriage counseling.

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Anthony Asked:

“I met this girl and I’m attracted to her. I move too fast into relationships and I want this one to turn into something special. How do I slow down and not move so fast in the beginning of a relationship without scaring the girl away?”

- Anthony(24, Illinois)

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The way you carry yourself, dress, talk, or even walk, can either attract a potential mate or repel her. In other words you need to have some swagger. So to avoid being rejected before you even say a word, you need to do the following:

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Reader’s, if you recall from last month’s issue? I had met a straight lady, who after consuming a lot of alcohol had been caught in a moment of indiscretion! After declaring her feelings of curiosity to me, she left me like the proverbial Cinderella with the imaginary glass slipper in my hand.

Until we were to meet again at our usual Ladies night out, I had a week to ponder these questions and wonder how I should approach her on the subject. I should mention for the purpose of the story, that I am an out lesbian and that I am comfortable in my own skin. Cindy on the hand, is more of a lipstick lady, who you would never know was gay unless she admitted it. But the chemistry between us, was off the charts and invariably Tequila was the catalyst!

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I recently did an interview with Sunny Wang and Kim Hess (The Divorce Guru) from Advice.Lovedetour.com, as part of their Energytalkradio.com show where Kim pointed out how much she loved one of my favorite rules from my book, The Straight Man’s Pocket Guide To Picking Up a Hottie-Written by a Woman Who Loves Women; Never be common, boring, or ordinary. Summer is just a few weeks away, so I thought I would diverge from my normal writings and share something more personal to the readers to drive this rule home!!  It doesn’t matter if your gay, straight, or bi, if you want to meet someone, you should follow this rule!!

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Say “pick-up line” and you might think of drunken frat boys with white baseball hats or sketchy guys in shiny shirts. While both examples certainly have gotten the most press, I humbly submit that the reviled pick-up line, besides being an excellent joke for the object of your affection to share with friends later, can at the very least ease tension when approaching someone who interests you. Notice I say “someone”; women (straight or lesbian) and gay men can use pick-up lines with aplomb, just as straight men can.

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Approaching women fills guys with a huge amount of anxiety.  It’s the number one reason why guys and girls don’t get together as often as they would both like.  Sure a woman can approach a guy, but it goes against her natural wiring so very often…

She won’t.

And after a few rejections… a guy begins to think that women have a problem.  So he waits until he feels a “connection” before “going in”.  That means that men are alone a lot and women are a lone a lot!  Nobody is happy, but you’d think if you both wanted to get together it would be easy.

With the right knowledge it CAN be easy.  (read about it at… www.tips-for-flirting-with-women.com : pick up artist advice from an ultra secret community)

The single MOST important piece of the puzzle is something called a…

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Thinking about the first few minutes of a first date often sends potential daters into a spiral of despair.  There is excitement mixed with hope which is then topped off with a healthy mix of I’m-going-to-fail and I-should-just-give-up-now swirled together.  It’s no reason to give up hope if you’re willing to examine yourself and your actions, come up with a plan of action that will lead to success and follow through on it!

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When I tell someone my “power words” I always get that really, really long pause…the one that silently communicates, “Are you kidding me?”  I’m not kidding them and I’m not kidding you now.  There are words that have an effect on women, but they aren’t part of a secret language created by some love guru thousands of years ago.  When I first tell them to you you’ll recognize them, know them well, but still not understand why they are so powerful.  They are not ‘selling words’, they’re not subliminal, and they are not hypnotizing either.  They are simple words, because words are just a way to communicate ideas, but what you’re communicating isn’t the definition you’ll find in the dictionary.  These words are effective because an attitude comes with them, an attitude that will trigger attraction in women.  But when a guy hears this he’s thinking power means domination but that isn’t what these words do at all.  These words don’t shut women down…they open them up.  Open them to the idea that you might be someone worth talking to, someone worth hanging out with, and someone attractive.  And they can reawaken these feelings in someone that’s lost them.  Let’s start with the words and when you recover from your shock we’ll talk a little bit about why they are so powerful.

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