By Keith Makenas

First off, I’m going to write a disclaimer:  I’m not trying to be negative here, I’m just trying to prepare you for what will happen in the near future.  The following is an example of what happens after you’ve been in a relationship for quite some time.

Month One: “OMG, he’s as classy as James bond, dances like Fred Astaire, and is as laid back as a cuddly Koala Bear on Quaaludes.”

“Dude! This chick is insanely awesome, she’s not like other girls, she brings me rum and cokes with ninety percent rum, she doesn’t mind my smoking and she said she wants to please me in the sack and do whatever I want, including bringing other girls into the bedroom!”

After a Year: “Yeah he’s changed, he doesn’t take me dancing he just sits around his apartment watching B rated horror films in sweat pants with a huge hole in the crotch so he can scratch himself.”

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Romantic relationships are a partnership of two people who have decided to share in the joys and sorrows of a committed life together. Married couples take the vows: “For better or worse, for richer or poorer” – Stop right there. People say vows similar to the ones just written but do we really mean them? – especially the part about “for richer or poorer”? Even though we say these words – if we are totally honest with ourselves we really mean: “but I hope it’s for richer”. Common sense dictates no one in their right mind wants to be poor. I mean honestly, get real.

Following are 7 simple ways or guidelines for handling money issues throughout your relationship so you don’t have to end up fighting about money. Consider these guidelines to be your relationship tools for keeping the spark alive in your relationship whether you are dealing with the “richer” or “poorer” times in your relationship.

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First dates, first kiss, first times…are so essential to how we form our ideas for love. But what does love have to do with it? Today, everyone has their own perception of what love should be. Some of the most common reasons are for romance, solid relationship, compatibility, future, financial stability, kids, etc…While some of might settle for a lesser version of the dream, it is our own unique vision that keeps us out there searching for love.

I have come across women, who have actual lists of things someone must have before they will even date?

Here is a short list of examples:

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Would you marry you? If you were/are single, are you the kind of person you’d be looking for and want to hook up with?

Sure, we all want a partner who is our version of the Perfect 10. But truth be told, we cross our fingers that said Perfect 10 will settle for a Strong 7 and overlook a few of our less than perfect traits. When you’re dating and doing your best to impress the object of your affection, you’ve got a couple of things working for you: (1) your sweetheart is blinded by falling-in-love hormones, and (2) you’re on your best behavior. You’ll never seem more like a Perfect 10 than in those too-short falling-in-love days.

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Dashara Asked:

“Me and my bf have been going together for a yr and sometime now. he recently broke up with me because he said he doesnt trust me. im at the lowest of the lowest right now. he is in the military and is leaving for the uk next month. i want to win his trust back. i love this guy with all my heart. i want to gain his trust back. idk if he is doing that because he’s leaving for the uk. but i feel so hurt right now. i am studying to go to the military i feel thats my only option for him to trust me again….. is there still a little hope?”

- Dashara (19, Belleville, IL)

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Beckie Asked:

“My friend got advice that helped her on here and told me to try.

My boyfriend ignored me and thought i was uncool at school and now he says he loves me, i said yes but i think its only a joke?’

- Beckie (14)

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Ria Asked:

“I Broke off with my boyfriend an year back as he moved abroad for his studies and moreover he said he was getting very serious for me but was sure that we cannot have a future as our families would never approve our relationship. Just after our break up he nearly begged to be friends with him. We decided to be friends. After two months he himself told me that he was in a relationship with some other girl and that was also a long distance relationship.

We were in continuous contact after that. We even met once after that and we kind got intimate in that meeting(intimacy of not a very high degree). I told him that I was not over him. He said he was thinking about me but he also accepted the fact that he was in a relationship with some other girl and called it a “sin” to think about me.

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Anonymous Asked:

“I have been dating a girl for almost two years she says she is not an affectionate person. She will never hold my hand or even look at me in public. But when another guy comes around is perky and will talk to them about anything. Do you think she is embarrassed by me?”

- Anonymous (20)

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Tell me you don’t change when you start a relationship.  Not you right? Then why do you sound like Tiny Tim combined with Mr. Rogers when she calls you?  Maybe you always sound that way especially talking to the guys about the malicious hits the Bears were putting on quarterbacks…back in 1985 that is.  Don’t worry we all went through it and it’s okay.  In the beginning of relationships we really think the girls love socks with holes in them, the Foghat t-shirts we got from a carnival, and the Flobee haircut.  On the positive side, her changing you is a sign that she really likes you, but dislikes your style.

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Rose Asked:

“PLEASE HELP!My husband freaks out at me for no reason, if I ask about porn, or masturbation. Just so you know, I love both. No issues here. He’s denied both, over and over, even calling me crazy, and telling me I’m calling him a pervert to think something like that about him! (What does that make me?) He makes me feel small for even thinking he would do those things. I later found out he enjoys them both. A lot. Then comes the sex hookup sites, which he blames on a friend, using his email account. His friend is married and uses them all the time. My husband has been friends with him since 5 years before he met me. It’s been a year, and he still starts arguments about the stuff on the comp even tho I tried to move past it. Once he told me that he cheated and it was a one time thing, in which case right away, I jumped up and grabbed him you know where. (This was all going on when I was pregnant and we were arguing about this for months) Afterwards, he denied it being true, saying he only said “what I wanted to hear, and he never cheated at all.” He still sticks to this even tho it’s been all this time. I have to mention that herpes is involved, and he says he got it from me, since I sometimes have cold sores. I hadn’t had a cold sore in almost 2 years at that time. What I want to know is, should I believe him? He’s very defensive over small stuff, and gets very angry, when I ask. Also, I might add, he is 44, and was single for 12 years before me(save a 6 mos relationship) and I am 30 and not too bad in the looks dept. He says he’s lucky to get someone young and prety like me so why would he cheat? He even keeps asking to take a lie detector test! I wonder if he is acting strange because he isn’t used to being in a rel. and really doesn’t know much about them, or if he got stuck on sex sites because he was single for so long, and can’t stop himself now. I’ve asked both questions, but it just makes him mad either way. It has to be one or the other. Either he’s clueless or he’s cheating. What do I do?”

- Rose (30, Ontario)