Nancy Asked:

“I find myself in an intensely uncomfortable and frustrating situation where I have an obsessive infatuation with a professor at college. He’s extremely intelligent, passionate and noted in his field, but a somewhat obnoxious and arrogant person. He’s resented by most in out class—-but I seem to harbour a soft corner for him which is gradually turning into obsession. I Google up stuff about him on the net, read up everything he’s written, loiter around his office just to catch a glimpse of him, and constantly fantasize about him and myself. When in reality, he’s not even close to knowing me that well. And this year—-we haven’t got any classes of him, and this is getting me frustrated to the point of getting edgy. I know that this could be dangerous and lead to nowhere, but I can’t stop this intense, oppressive feeling of wanting to throw myself at him. I keep dreaming up things to ask him or ways to just “bump” into him. I am even planning to take up his paper in next year, although I know that it doesn’t interest me.

I feel, on the whole, disturbed and dejected. I even feel that I’m developing stalkerish tendencies. Please suggest me how to tackle this. I’m starting to hate myself for this even.”

- Nancy (19)

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Heather Asked:

“I’ve been with my boyfriend for 2 years. The first few months we dated he was cheating on me but I forgave him and since then hes been great but I’ve gone crazy. I’m extremely controlling and am afraid I’ve become obsessed with him. I have to check his phone, email, and Facebook daily. I constantly have to be around him and even though we live together just an hour apart gives me terrible anxiety and i miss him like crazy. He cant go out and do things without me because I always have to be with him and when i get the chance to have fun on my own I dont because all i think about is him. I even quit my job because all i could focus on was him. Its caused us to fight constantly and he said hes leaving me unless I change. Please help me..”

- Heather (20)

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C Asked:

“I’m hugely attracted to my boss. I have been seeing him for more than a year now and my feelings for him are really growing in me. I’m not sure if he feels the same for me or not but i find myself thinking about him all the time. I’m losing my sleep over him.

He is married, about 4-5 yrs older to me and has a daughter too. I tried to notice his body language and sometimes i feel the feelings are mutual. But since both of us are the  way we are – i mean not very expressive… i dont know if any of us will / can openly talk about our feelings.

I’m listing down a few instances where i have felt he might be attracted to me as well. I really need help in confirming my thoughts:

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Ashely Asked:

“i have been with my boyfriend for a year and a half. we love eachother a lot but i have gotten to the point where i am obsessive about him, i worry and think about him constantly, if he doesnt pick up the phone i panic, if i dont see or talk to him i get extremely sad and hurt. i never used to be like this so i think something is wrong. i even make up ideas in my head that he is going to break up with me or he doesnt love me anymore. is there a way to stop being this way? what is wrong with me? is there a way to deal with this and stop being so obsessive?”

Ashely (19, Las Vegas, NM)

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Have you ever been obsessed with someone or with your relationship? If you answered yes, you’re not alone. Obsession is a very ancient, powerful tendency in many people. All of us understand that sometimes the pull to excessively focus on a person or relationship is too powerful to let go of but when obsession begins to dominate your life it’s easy to become out of balance. So be gentle with yourself whenever you are drawn into an obsession. It’s normal and very common.

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