Punkin Asked:

“I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for five years going on six, I was wondering if you can tell me why everytime i ask him why didn’t he go home last night? and his answer is always, i stayed at my cusin house. After so many times of hearing that i wonder if it’s even true..Is he lying???”

- Punkin (23, Clanton, Alabama)

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Milano Asked:

“So here is the deal, I’ve been in love with a girl not my first, I’ve been married had children and a length of experience in many relationships but this is only the 2nd time I felt so strongly about someone, well until she started doing things that I allow me to feel threatened in our relationship. Now I’ve had some jealousy issues before when i was married but i know it was my fault. So now I’m wondering am i at fault or am i with a woman whose just not for me.

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Ryan Asked:

“What is the healthiest approach to my current situation?

My girlfriend and I live together with 3 other roommates. We had a rough start into our committed relationship. We were really good friends then became more interested in eachother. We both were seeing other people but I was ready to commit. She was always completely honest with me and that is what got us through the transition.

The other night she told me that she had lied to me about a specific occurrance before we committed. At that time, if I had known what I know now, I would have walked away from pursuing the relationship. She told me that she lied to avoid pushing me away.

I am unsure of how I feel but I do know that I do not trust her at this point of time. I went through a lot of pain pursuing her and valued the openess and trust that we had above all. Now it feels like it has been shattered.

She has other stresses in her life to the point where I believe she will shut down to me if I talk about how I feel. If we take a break then she will be gone.

I could use some insight please.”

- Ryan (24)

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Kimberly Asked:

“I lied to my boyfriend on several occasions which I’m not proud of. I’m willing to change and stop lying but he doesn’t believe anything that I say. So what can I do to prove to him that I’m a change person and that I wont lie anymore.”

- Kimberly (27)

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Aliyah Asked:

“Well I have been dating a guy since last year and we were meeting only for sex and he did have already a girlfriend and they were supposed to get engaged but they have break-up after.That guy keep on meeting me sometimes and we do keep in touch via messenger and I began to really like him,he cares for me and we talk as frineds and even we met only for sex he has never make me get any problem.But the last time we have meet we have gone to lunch only and my friends were around that day,and he has finally be friends my friends (both girls and boys)also,I did not tell my friends that we were dating each other because I knew that he meets me only for sex,but I became jealous when I find out that he meet my friends even I was not there.I have later tell my friends about us by lieing a bit by telling them that he was my ex.but I wanted to get into relationship with him because I like him very much. He was angry when I told him that I have told my friends that we were together before.He told i should have never told them about us and we did have a big fight. And he has really hurt me because he told me that I was cheap and he never love and never will. But after some week later he has call me and we chat a lot on messenger more than before in fact quiet everyday now. He has not yet talk about that fight between us, he is making as if nothing has happend,But the last time we chat he told that he wanted to meet me, I have ask him why, he told me because that he like me and he has like me since long. if he wanted me only for sex, he could have taken advantage of that he like me and he always want my good. So I have ask him about getting into a serious relationship he told me we will be together at any time the issue about his girlfriend can arise in his family and that they can force him to get engaged. He said that he really does not want to give me hope and like we are, we will always support each other.

I really don’t know what to do as I am confused, I want to get into something serious with him else I will leave him coz I don’t want to get hurt. plz advice me.”

- Aliyah (23, Mauritius)

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Many years ago, having been married a brief time, I came home after having had a strong, yet curious, experience. One I was both eager and frightened to tell my husband about, knowing what I had to say was considered a taboo subject. Eager, because I was the taboo-slaying Joan of Arc; frightened, because I had never seen a relationship work when two people dared utter—never mind explore—the truth together.

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Before we begin, let’s clear the air. I’m always asked, “Is there a difference between manipulation and lying?” Actually, there is a great difference. Utilizing manipulation does not require you to lie? I’ll give you a small example. About two weeks ago, my lovely wife was trying on one of her coveted outfits. This is one of those outfits that she loves dearly and doesn’t want to let go off by any means. She lives by the 80/20 principle in a major way. If you are familiar with the 80/20 principle, it refers to the percentages of the way we live and do things in life. She wears 20% of her clothing 80% of the time. If you’re still confused another example would be walking on 20% of your floor 80% of the time. Anyway, back to the main topic, some of my wife’s articles of clothing are not the greatest, so when she asks that question that all men avoid, which is: “Do you think I look fat in this outfit?” My response is simply, “I think the other outfit you have covers your body better, and makes you look sexier?” I didn’t lie to her. On the contrary, the words spoken were true, but made it clear to her that the dress she wanted to wear was inappropriate for her body. Now, of course some people will push, especially if it’s one of those critical people that have to hear certain words. I continue to reiterate the point until she is done pushing.

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Ever heard the saying people don’t change? Is that true? Is that fair? I am sure that you in your life have changed often. Grown into a better person, become more patient and more accepting. Is it possible that he could have changed too? Is it possible that he will be the perfect man from now on?

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