The Greeks had five words to describe the different levels of love: eros, passionate love, essential desire and longing, romantic love; philia, friendship, loyalty; storge, natural affection; agape, selfless giving; and thelema, desire or will to do something. In the English language we have many states of feeling that describe different elements of love: idolization, affection, devotion, worship, infatuation, lust, passion and rapture. None of which are synonyms for love, as we only have the one word for that, love itself. My husband and I, who have spent an inordinate amount of time mulling over the finer points of love’s various meanings, have come up with our own adaptation that was part of our sacred marriage vows: I want what you want for yourself.

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You’re in bed, ready to sleep or snuggle, but the other side of the bed is empty. Should you worry? Not if your partner is working late or watching the news, but if he or she is staring glassy-eyed at internet porn sites, you may have cause for concern.

If your partner is staying on internet for hours, you want to find out what sites are onscreen. Sexually explicit sites on the internet or other forms of explicit entertainment or behavior can be an enjoyable aspect of healthy sexual arousal and expression. If they become a compulsive, though, sexual addiction may be an issue.

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