One of our other experts on the site, Jim Ludwig, recently posted the first installment of an article entitled “Recognize your Listening Blocks to Improve Communication”. It’s a very fine article too: informative, well written, and offers some useful information. And it got me to thinking: not all listening blocks are necessarily a bad thing – like the “fight or flight” reflex is not a bad thing. Sometimes a listening block can be a self-defense or a self-preservation instinct coming to the fore.

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In this article we will continue with our study of listening blocks, for good reason: When listening blocks occur in conversation, it means that we are not hearing the other and are not aware of it. Thus retiring your listening blocks (and learning how to cope with the blocks of others) can be rewarding to all your relationships. The key to this growth is greater awareness, of both your inner process and your interpersonal process with others.

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It is common for relationship coaches to advise us as to the importance of listening. Indeed, the ability to listen is seen as truly fundamental to all kinds of relationships, and thus many of us attend listening seminars or read related books and articles. I certainly did, long ago when I became aware of my own limitations as a listener.

Fascinated by the subject, I began teaching listening seminars, and quickly discovered a curious problem: The people who most needed the training were the first ones to declare that their listening skills were “just fine”. Bob says he is a great listener but his wife and coworkers say his listening skills are non-existent. I was initially baffled by this strange state of affairs, but with time I began to figure it out. … read more