“My question is I love this woman but she attached and is very unhappy in her relationship. We dated for about a year but something happened to her after she told me she was filing so I did something very wrong and now regret this but asking will she try to connect with me in the future after we had shared some beautiful words and feelings together ? Even telling each other we had love for each other.”

- Beth (56, Nicholasville, KY)

“My wife of 9 years and 3 children announced she is gay. In addition, shortly thereafter she had a meltdown and we found out she is severly bipolar. When she says she doesn’t want sex anymore but she still loves me, I’m her best friend and she still wants to remain married but no sex. she still want to kiss, snuggle, sleep in same bed, etc…. I feel we are disconnected now, no intimacy, a wedge between us. ‘we had issues in our marriage but nothing I thought we couldn’t work on for improvement. What does it mean to be gay. I’m having trouble with this. I’m not blaming her but she is setting conditions wihtout my input. Don’t I matter too? I don’t know how much is bipolar how much is gay. I’m very confused by all of this. If she isn’t wanting me sexually, does she really care about me and love me? I feel it means our relations has taken several steps back and we are not connected as we should be-we’re not giving ourselves fully and completely physically and emotionally. Any thoughts or suggestions?”

- Terry (43, Vienna)

“Hello, I was married and pregnant at a young age(18). Divorced two yrs later, single mother of two teenagers. Tried dating but had trust issues and compared them to my ex. I moved to Naples in 2003 and ever since I moved here have not been on a date, until Oct of 2010 where I stepped out of the box a started dating a woman. I was in a relationship for 5 months during those months there was ups and downs but she treated me great. But my self esteem, trust issues, not showing my emotion to her effected the relationship. She knew what I went through with my ex, he was verbally abusive. She didn’t care that I wasn’t really to let people know about us, especially my family and friends. She just wanted me to break down that wall. She was such a go positive person in my life. On 4/10/11 she broke it off. Two weeks later we talked about trying to work things out because we both had issues. So we needed to work on ourselves. She suggested for us to take it slow. But during that time she was hanging out with her “best friends”. I just found it strange since while we were together they hardly hanged out. I asked her if anything was going on and she old me no that her friend was not like that. During all this taking it slow. I keep asking her to come over or lets do something. Sometimes she did and sometimes we didn’t. One day I asked her to come over that I would like to talk to her. She did we talk and we were intimate with each other. Didn’t talk for a while, so again I asked her what is going on. Are we going to try to work this out or not. She said she does but she is scared because she doesn’t want to get hurt and she was tired of the break up and make up. A week later, she send me a text that she started dating someone and to please leave her alone. Maybe we can be friends again but she needs time and needs to process.

And who is she dating her “best friend”. They went away to PR for the summer, and what is shocking to me is that we were suppose to go to PR for our one year anniversary/bday in October. I have texted her, emailed her and written letters asking her to forgive me. Lets be friends since we were friends before getting involve. I knew her 2 yrs before we get involve. I continue to look at her FB page to see what they are up to. I do love her and miss her. But she never gave me the chance to change.
DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!

l all this that is going on I just lost my job due to budget cuts. I want to change my life tired of always being DEPRESSED. Don’t want to live like this anymore. How much are your sessions? I cant go now due to not working but I really want to start seeing someone.
Thank you for reading my email and god blessed!”

- Jeannette (41, Naples, FL)

“So here is my dilemma, I have been married for 4 years and our relationship is not perfect but for the most part it has been great, except for my wifes low sex drive, she seems to enjoy it when we do have sex but does not want it for months on end, she is 27 yrs old. The other problem i have is with her lesbian co-worker who clearly has a crush on her, and my wife loves to hang out with her and her other work friends, also i am never invited. It always seems that hanging out with this group of friend is always the highest on her list, for example the oher day she came back from a 3 day conference and the same evening she tells me she wants to hang out with those friends ( they were not at the conference) I tell her i rather have here with me, she tells me i can come too but obviously does not mean that, and when i put my foot down she still goes. Now this causes a huge fight, when we start talking about it, she finally says that she wants to hang out with these people by herself, i ask her why can i not be invited and maybe they can be our mutual friend, she has no answer, just keeps repeating these i my friends and if u were with me then it would not be the same. I have had no problems with this in the past with her other girl friends she having girls night etc. But with this group of people it is a no no, Makes me even more suspicious about the nature of her relationship with her lesbian friend. She assures me there is nothing going on and that she is not interested in girls, but when push comes to shove she always goes to bat for her over me!! Please tell me i am not crazy for thinking what I am thinking. Also I should mention that they usually hang out at a friends house, not the lesbian friend’s but another guy from the group. Also i recently lost my job so I have been home a lot. Also i did read her text messages from this lesbian girl and they were very flirty when i asked her about this she said she is like this with everyone, and now has started deleting all her texts from her.
Please help me, i need to know if there is anything going on here and should i be worried in her sudden need for exclusiveness.”

- Confused (31)

Now don’t worry all the stories still have the same thing in common… loving women…it’s all about finding that special someone in our lives. Whether it is destined to last forever and other’s lasting for what only seems like stolen moments. We might call them by different names but we all hope to find the yin to our yang. The counterpart that just fits and makes it seem like this is the person; I’ve been waiting for my whole life.

Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought of a romantic interest as a zebra, so let me explain my thought process to you dear reader. All my life I have searched for the elusive femme of my dreams, a strong, independent, sexy lady confident in who she is and who is ultimately searching for her butch counter-part. A lipstick femme who revels in who she is, loving her make-up, clothes, sexy heels and all the other accoutrements that bring butches like myself to our knees.

So hence reader’s, I’ve come to call these precious femmes, who wear and love their heels with total abandon…zebras. Well really not all women but just one very special lady who has marked my heart and soul so much that she epitomes the femme of my dreams and I began calling her the zebra in my heart.

I first met Elise more than 3 years ago, but I had just starting dating another lady all though it was a long distance relationship. So for several reasons though she and I clicked, I did not pursue my interest in Elise. I introduced her to a friend and lost track of her…lost but not forgotten. So here we fast forward to year ago when I finally caught sight of her again. I came into the neighborhood bar one night after work and had recently ended the 2 year long distance relationship that slowly deteriorated into a once a month booty call.
I sat at the bar and ordered a beer; it was karaoke night so there were quite a few people out, as I looked around the bar who do I spot but Elise sitting across the bar, it was as if lighting struck when she looked my way and waved hello. Such an incredibly beautiful sight that I felt as if I had been struck by one of cupid’s arrows as I fell in love with her at first sight. We talked across the bar saying how good it was to see each other again. I instantly went to her side taking up where we left off so many years ago. She looked amazing, flawless make-up, sexy low cut shirt and let’s not forget the delicious heels, the total package that made my heart skip a beat…the elusive femme.

But unfortunately she was not there alone, I thought to myself of all the luck. She introduced me to her friend and when I went to shake her hand she looks me up and down…”Oh I know who you are Gina” and left me hanging there with my hand outstretched. I quickly apologized for intruding and worked my way back to the other side of the bar to stare at Elise from a distance. I tried not to be so obvious and pretended to be watching the karaoke singers.

I could not keep my eyes off of her and watched her for the next hour, when suddenly I saw her friend go out the front door. I thought to myself here’s my chance, so I walked over to her with my phone number in hand asking her to call me. I asked about her friend and of course I asked Elise, if she was single? Her response was “Yes, I’m single, I just got out of a relationship and this lady is really just a friend.” As I stared into her eyes they sparkled as brilliantly as the night sky, with the promises of many more tomorrows. I found myself so drawn to her, that in another instant I would have kissed her. The return of her friend stopped what could have happened and I said my good-byes hoping she would call me soon. As I walked out the bar, I thought to myself “damn it”; I didn’t ask her for her number so I hoped beyond hope that she felt the same electricity as I had?

She was all I could think about and if I had another opportunity I surely would not have hesitated in kissing her. I kept going back to the bar every night in hopes of catching her again and making sure that next time, I would not leave without her number. A couple of months go by and I thought about what I could have I done to change things? When one day out of the blue I get a call from her, I was at work so she left me her name and number with a message to call her. You better believe that I returned her call in record time.
“Hi Gina, this is Elise, you remember me, you gave me your number at the bar about 2 months ago? I was there on karaoke night with my friend. Give me a call when you can maybe we can go out for drinks?” Hearing her silky voice, my heart skipped a beat.

I took a deep breath and called her back, she picked up after only a couple of rings…” Hi Elise, of course I remember you. I thought I’d never hear from you, especially since I left the bar without your number that night. Yes absolutely let’s go out for drinks, how about lunch? My brother’s coming into town maybe I could see you this evening.” I found myself hopelessly rambling…

“Well Gina I just found your number when I was organizing my files so I wanted to call and say Hi. Uh, I don’t know about meeting your family already, we haven’t even talked.”

I could just picture her holding the phone from her ear wondering why I was rambling the way I was. I could sense I was about to lose another opportunity and thought to myself, breathe Gina slow down.

“I’m sorry Elise; let’s meet for drinks tonight or tomorrow and we’ll go from there” as I held my heart stopped as I wait for her response.

“Ok Gina, we’ll meet at the bar tomorrow about 2pm for drinks.” My heart began to beat again.

“Sounds great I look forward to seeing you then” as I hung up the phone, I held my head in my hands wondering she must have thought I sounded crazy, going on and on the way I did. Luckily I would be seeing her in less than 24hrs, I was on cloud nine.

Stayed tuned for the next installment of “The Zebra in My Heart” Until then have faith, the next adventure is just around the corner. You can contact at HelloMsHeartbreak@yahoo.com

“I met this girl a little over a month ago, I left her my number and after about a week I heard from her. She made it quite clear that she is interested in me by saying so herself and just the little things that you say to someone you’re interested in. We went on our first date and she asked me to pick her up from her house. Fine! Our date went well, we talked a lot, played a few games of pool and we learned that we have a whole lot in common. After the date I told her that I had a great time and would like to see her again, she said she did too.
After this, I didnt hear from her for about 3-4 days (we usually text because neither of us like being on the phone) so I texted her one night and asked her if she is interested or not (maybe I shouldn’t have done that but hey, I was confused!) and she told me that she is interested but because she has a lot going on in her life, she doesn’t have time to date. Now I’m even more confused! My head says leave her alone but my heart says stay hopeful. I dont know which one to listen to.”

- Jane (24, Female)

This one is called “The Bet”

Girls, girls, girls…they can sure scramble ones’ libido. Women can be sexy, seductive, captivating, inspiring and it doesn’t matter if they are tall, short, thin, rubenesque, if you find one who catches your eye just right. If you don’t take a shot at a girl who scrambles your libido, you’re an idiot. You’ve got nothing to lose but the loss of not taking the shot. The key, be creative and get her attention.

It was a typical Sunday afternoon at one of my favorite L.A. hangouts, where there is no shortage of marguerites, good looking babes (men and women), rockers, porn stars and live music to keep you entertained. I arrived with a few friends and as usual found more friends to collaborate with and people watch, all while exciting my pallet with a frothy, salted, marguerita on the rocks. I am not sure who spotted her first, but it wasn’t long before the group of us were zeroed in on a very attractive girl, who sat at a table just five or six feet from where we were standing. The guys were all talking about making a play for her and before I knew it my friend Kristy threw out a bold statement. “I bet I can get that girl to kiss me”, she claims. The guys were giggling like school-girls as Kristy proudly exclaimed, “Yea, I will bet you 20.00 bucks that I can get that girl to kiss me”. I was astounded. Kristy was usually not so bold as to initiate such a play for a girl. She typically preferred someone to pursue her, not the other way around.

Well, as I wondered how on earth was Kristy going to get this girl to kiss her, she starts to make her way toward the girl’s table. I was thinking, “Wow, I don’t believe it, I don’t even know what I would say or do to get that girl to just come out and kiss me so quickly.” I moved closer so that I could maybe hear what Kristy was going to say to her; I didn’t want to miss what could be a new strategy that I never thought of. Kristy squats down in front of the girl and says, “Hi, I’m Kristy and you are really beautiful. I bet my friends over there, 20.00 dollars that I could get you to kiss me. If you do, I’ll split it with you”. Ok, not too creative but honest. The girl says, “sure” and Kristy leans in and the girl gives her a somewhat quick “peck” on the lips. The guys watching of course, yelled and fussed, and clapped and Kristy walks back and collects the 20.00. Everyone laughed and Kristy walks back, gives the girl a ten spot, chatted for about five minutes, and returned to the group.

“Hmmm, I thought, I can do better than that”. I walk over to the girl, squatted down in front of her and said, “Hi, my name is Robbie and I bet those same guys over there 100.00 dollars that I could get you to give me a better kiss than my friend and if you do it, I’ll give you half”. I stood up slightly to be at eye level with the girl as she leaned in and gave me a long, hard kiss, while pulling me closer to her. The noise from the guys was hard to ignore and we broke apart and smiled. I looked her right in the eyes and said, “I lied, there is no 100.00 dollars”. I wasn’t sure if she was going to slap me or what as I started to pull away but surprisingly she smiled and then laughed and said “That was good, why don’t you sit down and join me”.

Cheers,

Robbie Lee

www.Robbie411.com

As a writer, I can often find myself at a loss for words when the issue is very close to my heart. In this instance, a friend asked me to describe my Dreamgirl, not an easy task but I know that when I envision her…”All I have to do is dream.”

It can be difficult to put into words the kind of person you seek for a relationship. Though I can imagine the lady, I would hope that she is more than a dream come true and becomes something undiscovered. Ultimately someone who is loving, caring, independent, sexy, non-judgmental, open minded, etc… I have looked for her in so many faces over the years, only to find it to be an illusion that did not survive the test of time. In my past I have been married twice to women and though I hoped for the happily ever-after, they both became anything but. Today armed with more life experiences and new wisdom from the lessons learned, I try to move forward instead of living in the past.

I am most attracted by the lipstick femme, who revels in her femininity and enjoys all the frilly accruements that make butches like me weak in the knees. She should not to be afraid to think outside the box and reach for more in life, always moving forward. She should appreciate the uniqueness of the Butch-Femme mystique, the treasure that comes from finding the missing link, the yin to the yang. We don’t need each other but know that together nothing is impossible. Giving each other the freedom to be who we are and yet realizing the power between us can lead to so much more. Being there and supporting each other’s dreams, realizing that our successes can be a joint effort of our relationship. Will she be willing to climb a mountain everyday overcoming any obstacles together? While most would rather wait until you are on top of the world before they will reach for you. I would rather walk beside her as we explore what life has to offer and being there with her every step of the way. Life can be unpredictable, but we will not be.

It is truly amazing the length that we will go to and how your life’s energy can be so tied to another. The connection of 2 souls 2 hearts, I want to be so lost in her that my soul aches for her touch, dreaming of the moment when her lips are upon mine, with her sweet breath caressing me, while she declares her love. It’s funny how sometimes one person can give you such strength, such a feeling of love and that the infusion of passion can transform you.

I don’t want to have any regrets for investing every part of myself and laying it all out on the line for one more chance at the dream. It was my free choice to expose my heart and it must be her free choice as we both seek the epitome of our desires. We each are truly in control of our destiny, love, hopes, desires and our dreams.

Although many people can have strong opinions about our lives together, in the end we are the only ones who matter, because we are ultimately responsible for our own destiny and most importantly our own happiness. There will likely be difficult times ahead and I willingly accept them, because I could not stop this now even if I wanted to. Hoping for the best or dealing with the worst is something I’m willing to do for love, for us. I would have greater regrets if I hadn’t put my heart and soul into this love and its possible outcome.

Now I can honestly say that I have seen the dream change and become more than I could have ever envisioned, but it remains elusive in a very real sense. The past cannot be changed but the future is yet to be. I don’t care about where you have been; I care about where you are going. Can you let go of the past and imagine a greater future, learning from past lessons and know that love still exists.

In closing, it will become obvious to all, that I have yet to find my dreamgirl. Though I carry my elusive one with me as the days and years go by; though the dream may not be as vivid as it once was. But the memories are buried deep within me nay I say they have become a part of me, as my heart and soul still ache for her. Our lives have touched from time to time, always with the same intensity, but fate teases us with only a temporary illusion. I wish her strength, health and as strong a love as we both have had the privilege to witness over the years and the enduring hope that fate will one day be kind enough to bring her back into my life for another chance at the dream…Hello Ms. Heartbreak, I’ve been expecting you!

Gina Landeau

HelloMsHeartbreak@yahoo.com

“My wife says that she was born gay not bi but gay and really believes it. She cant turn off her attraction to girls but she says she loves me and only me. My question is whether or not she can really love me if she believes she was born gay and will our relationmship last?”

- Charles (26, Killeen,TX)

So after 25 years of not performing, I issued a challenge for someone to spot and recognize me as Midnight Cowboy on Halloween, while I was out and about in Wilton Manors. Well as these things go this became not just another adventure but another great story destined for the pages of Gir(L).

In preparation for my night out, I had to go in search of the necessary items for the make-up to be effective as well as dusting off my cowboy hat and trusty six guns. So I hit the stores for just 2 items, crepe hair and spirit gum, and was able to find it easy enough at a local costume store. I decided to do a practice make-up session to be sure that I still had the talent to pull this off.

So I sat myself in front of a mirror, first cutting the crepe hair into fine stubble, then applying the spirit gum to my skin then the stubble with a make-up brush meticulously creating inch by inch, first sideburns then beard and mustache. After an hour, I looked in the mirror surprised at how realistic the transformation still was after all these years. In that instant recalling how 25 years ago, I would be accosted by women, who wanted to see for themselves that I was really a woman in drag. I created this persona out of the love and appreciation; I had for the ordinary men who transformed themselves into incredible divas. My reflection in the mirror revealed a very handsome man plus with the effect and feel of the crepe hair, anyone near or far would be hard pressed to believe I was not the real thing.

So when Halloween arrived, I completed the look by wearing a black shirt, black pants, cowboy boots, cowboy hat, a belt with 6 pair of handcuffs and finished off with a pair of six guns. As I walked into the bar in my friend Eva walked past me saying “Hey look it’s the Marlboro Man!”
I couldn’t help myself and called out to her “Girl, It’s me Gina.” She came back around and took a longer look,” Oh my God, I never would have recognized you.”
“See I told you you’d be surprised by the transformation.”
“Damn Gina, it even feels real! What was your drag name again?”
“Midnight Cowboy.” I responded
“Ok then Midnight, it is for the night” And with that, she left to go outside for a smoke.
My next target Tracey, the bartender recognized me easy enough by setting me up with a cold Budweiser “How did you know it was me?”
“Gina don’t you remember, you gave me a lot of hints. But I have to admit you really look like a guy!”

So as the night went on this same scenario would be repeated many times over. It became quite the scandal as my friend’s would be beside me and having no clue that it was me. The surprise and shock on their faces were some the highlights of the evening.

But I must admit that I forgot just how powerfully realistic this look was. Since it was Halloween, I thought it was a great costume, but it was so realistic that when I tired to meet several ladies that night, they turned me down thinking I was a real guy instead of a lesbian!

While standing in line for the bathroom, I noticed a guy cruising me, I thought to myself, “Oh, Oh here we go!” and I was right because he comes up to me starts making small talk then begins coming onto me. I gently tell him in his ear, “Honey, I’m really a girl!” He was dumbfounded, but none the less he thinks I’m being shy and examines me even closer. “No way, it looks and feels real, come on you’re a guy!” So as I had done in the past, I had to reveal to him in no uncertain terms, that I was a real girl.

After several of these encounters with other guys, I thought to myself, maybe it was time to go home? So I went outside for one last cocktail before heading home and while I was standing there I noticed this beautiful woman looking at me. I glanced at her several times; I saw that the attraction between the two of us was very evident. So I made my way over to her introducing myself and buying her a drink. Once the introductions were done…we found ourselves at a crossroads. Because neither one of us were who we appeared to be. I turned out to be a girl in drag and she was an incredibly beautiful trans-sexual…. Hello Ms Heartbreak, I’ve been expecting you!