Sonia Asked:
“I have an 11-year-old daughter and have been seeing my boyfriend, who has an 11-year-old son for 2 years. I love him very much and he says he loves me too, we could not be happier when we are together and would love to move into together as a family. The kids get on really well together too. However, he lives over 50 miles away, in the same town as his ex and shares custody of his son every other week. I do the same with my ex. My boyfriend has changed his job in the last year, works more and longer days, now including Saturdays too. Because of this, my boyfriend’s son is alone for 3 and a half hours everyday after school until my boyfriend gets home from work after 8. On a Friday, he arrives at my house at 10pm to leave his son with me on the Saturday, because he has to work.We spend every other Sunday together as a family.I feel that his insistance to continue with parenting every other week is ridiculous under the changed circumstances & more for him than his son. He is unwilling to move, even halfway between where we each live, so we remain at a distance, seeing each other only some evenings and Sundays, with and without the kids. Whilst I really love my boyfriend, I can see no end to this unsatisfactory routine, at least for the next 6 years or so. I’m beginning to feel I rank no where near as important as his son in his life, other than as someone to look after his son when he can’t. Financially, it is draining because of the constant travelling and maintaining two households. He agrees that it would make sense to move into my house as it is paid-for and big enough for all of us. He lives in a rented social-housing apartment. The situation is now depressing me, as I see no end in sight – I really don’t want to call it a day but feel that my heart is ruling my head. Is there really any future for us, even as a couple, if not as a family?”
- Sonia (52, London, England)
This has been on my mind, and it’s time to start asking why. From the time we’re pre-teens, all the way till today, sex is like a dirty little secret that we’re not supposed to talk about. Yet, like most other things, the less we talk about it, the less we learn about it. It’s no wonder why so many couples are sexually unsatisfied, why children are having sex younger and younger, pregnancy and sexual disease are on the rise, and why more and more marriages are ending in divorce.
