Ann Asked:

“My boyfriend and I have been dating for over 3 years now. We are so close and are each other’s best friend. I love him so much but I know he has trust/jealousy issues. I am faithful to him and have/will never cheat on him. He insists that I have done several things to lose his trust but, the thing is, he is so insecure that I can hardly talk to guys. I don’t have any guy friends, which I am fine with, but he gets jealous when I do innocent activities such as assigned group projects for school. I love him but these insecurities cause us to fight almost every day. He is nagging my constantly to the point that I am questioning whether I really want to be with him or not. Is it normal to fight a lot? How do I get him to stop nagging me? I am so sick of it! I just want to live my life happily and enjoy my college experience with him in my life!!”

- Ann (18)

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So the intimacy of the relationship has faded, and once your hormones settled you realized your partner is not really what you want. Maybe they have some annoying habits you didn’t realize at first, or maybe you desire more in common than just the bedroom escapades that were originally the foundation of your relationship. Or have you been in a long term relationship and it has finally run its course? Either way, for some reason you really cared about this person, and although it’s over you still agree to be friends….

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A media inquiry regarding handling conflicts:

I’m not a yeller. I never have been. When my sister and I had knock-down fights as kids, she screamed and I talked or cried (or both). Actually, that’s how our fights play out these days. I also never yelled when arguing with my parents, and the one and only time I got in a bit of a “tiff” with a colleague, she yelled and I, well, spoke. I’m the same way with dates. Recently, I had my first-ever argument with a non-yeller. It was weird — very weird. And I almost laughed in the middle because it didn’t feel like a fight. So was it? Does emotional release occur if you don’t yell? Is the fight as effective or productive? Do two people who are non-yellers accomplish anything while fighting? What about two screamers? The Times Union is a 150,000-circulation daily paper in the capital of New York state. We are Hearst-owned, and our stories run on the NY Times and Hearst wires after they appear in our paper. This is for my Sunday Life 3.0 column.

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Hamed Asked:

“How can i get back with my ex girlfriend?

i have been with my ex for 8 years now we practically grew up together we had our bad and good times but in late 08 her family decided to back to the U.K she stayed and the first visit to U.K was fine she went for like a week but in dec of 08 things started to change we had alot of arguments and issues regarding trust like i love her and do trust her but i get very worried when i called and she would not answer me properly or something anyways after that she was supposed to come back before new years but the day she was going to fly she decided not to come and break up with me because she needed time to think we sorted it out eventually and end of january she did come back and the plan was she would come stay for like 3 months and then go back to the U.K and i would follow in the summer she stayed we sorted everything and got engaged it was an amazing week and after the engagement she left after the engagement by one day the first two weeks that she was there all was good she was happy but after that it started with her being moody and whenever i called while she was out with friends she would get angry that i asked questions like where you going, what time would u be home and stuff like that etc. i know i did pressure her and that was wrong but suddenly she decided we can’t work out and that she was sorry but its better like this and that she wants different life so forth i tried to email she emailed once but now nothing and i hear that she is having an awesome time going to london cambridge , and she didnt know what she was thinking when she got engaged i am sooo hurt its been 2weeks now and i dont know what to do my i cant contact her because she has a different number now my only way is email but i dont want to email her all the time please tell me what u think and if you want me to explain more i will
Thank you”

- Hamed (Bahrain)

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Have you ever met a girl/guy who wants to know everything about you? I mean everything. How many lovers you’ve had, what you’re feeling and thinking about all of the time, or what is your most embarrassing moment? It can be a bit overwhelming, especially if you have your own issues with “your stuff”. There are things that you can share and things you should just keep to yourself.

Don’t ask, don’t tell. This can be a great piece of advice. If you want to avoid your partner (whether you’re married, dating, exclusive, etc) asking you things that you don’t want them to ask, don’t ask them questions!! For example, if you have been dating for three months and things are moving along great, why would you want to ask him/her how many people they have had sex with; is there a point? Because you know they will turn around and ask you the same thing. Do not ask them questions you are not prepare to answer in return.

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10. Bad sex
This seems to me to be the most preventable one of the 10! See my entry on are you a dead fish? I once had bad sex and that relationship lasted about a week! However to be really honest I have often put up with bad sex to be with someone I loved. It eventually led to a break up because I was too unsatisfied in this area. Here is where the problem lies… I didn’t tell her. I broke up with her instead of making my needs clear. Could you be in the same boat? Is your boy hiding his dissatisfaction from you?

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Secret affairs can ruin a marriage, but more often than not, they are not a relationship killer. In fact, 82% of marriages affected by an affair actually have happier couples after the affair. The reason is that the affair reveals that something is wrong in the relationship, and most couples want to correct the problems.

While recovering from a secret affair isn’t easy, you can live a happy life with your spouse after the trauma. Among the many things that people need to work on after finding out about a secret affair is how to have sex after infidelity.

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