Sometimes we don’t see it until we are much older and have a clearer vision of life, but some past loves had to happen in order for us to evolve into who we are today. Even those that may have evoked thoughts of suicide, because the loss at the time was greater than we thought we could endure? Would your life really be any different today? If you were the dumpee or the dumper? A heartbreak is a loss and sometimes unimaginable to overcome, but yet we willing try again. I’ve been out for more than 25yrs; I can’t tell you how many times I’ve fallen from the greatest heights of love. Only to once again getting up to dust myself off and trying again, “But for another Chance at Love.”

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When we fall in love, we sometimes fall with total abandon. Often losing ourselves in the relationships with our friends barely recognizing us because of the changes we’ve made. Change is good, but losing yourself in a relationship is an inexplicable phenomena. Then we feel cheated when the love ends without the happily ever after. Yes I know some of you out there don’t believe in fairy tales. Don’t get me wrong, I’m realistic but I still dream true love does exist and the possibility happily ever after can be obtained. Let’s face the facts , some of us look for love and don’t even know what it means? We fool ourselves by repeating our own special mantras, ex. “ I’ll know it’s her because my heart will not deny me .”  We often even unknowingly will rely on sex as our indicator of love. Sex is only lust and gives us the temporary illusion of love . That could explain all of those infamous U-Haul jokes, people so often connect lesbians.

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Baron Asked:

“So I don’t know how to put my prob in words….but here’s an attempt. All throughout 11th grade I was never social and kept away from girls, its not that I am a geeky kind of guy. I mean that I haven’t gone out with a girl yet because I don’t want to fall into crushes and all that. I am just another average guy. So this started about 6 months ago… near half way through my 12th grade……there was this girl in my class and we started to chat over the net and then I mustered some courage ( I am really shy in front of girls) and started talking to her and soon we were nice if not good friends. She knew all about my crushes and well we used to laugh about it. So keeping it short I am totally in love with her. It’s not that puppy love kind of thing, I have had my fair share of crushes and limerances too but this is different. The feelings have never been more intense. But I know that she won’t ever say yes and considers me nothing more than a friend and I know that I can’t live without her. And it was only a while ago that I learned that she likes a guy too. Now this may seem complicated but here’s a short summary…: she likes the guy who knows that she likes him but he doesn’t like her and the girl knows that. Moreover the girl also knows that I truly love her and yet she won’t say yes to me because she still likes that guy. I really want her to be happy, even if it means that she’s with some other guy but its killing me inside knowing that she’ll never be in my arms, that she cant be mine ever. And right now I am so messed up that I don’t know what to do, whether to cry or to laugh, whether to smile or to frown. I don’t even feel alive right now and I have cut myself 5 times just to feel the pain and know that I am still alive, that I am still breathing. I have even gone to the brink of killing myself several times and ending the pain but have always stopped cause I don’t want her to think that its cause of her. I just! have no idea what to do next, I don’t even know what’s right or wrong anymore, I don’t even want to live anymore. Please help me.”

- Baron

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