We all love a good laugh. Recent research tells us there are all sorts of great hormonal and biochemical benefits to laughter. It lowers your blood pressure and heart rate and promotes health and overall well-being. In other words, laughter is good for your health. So what does this have to do with offering relationship advice for this week? You now know that laughter is good for your physical health, but did you know that laughter and a sense of humor is key for keeping your relationship together as well?

Many times people take themselves way too seriously. Everything is a big deal. Sure, we are living in a time of financial and political turmoil, but that doesn’t mean we have to lose our sense of humor and the ability to laugh at ourselves and our partner as we meander our way through life.

Why is the ability to laugh and maintain a sense of humor so important to the health of our relationship? Well, long after everything else in our relationship is gone, the single thing left standing is often our sense of humor. Our sense of humor is the glue that binds our relationship together during the good and the bad times. If we lose our ability to laugh at ourselves and our partner, we lose the glue that binds us together in our relationship and the relationship becomes unglued.

Lighten up and laugh a little at yourself and each other. Laughter is essential to your happiness and makes difficult situations seem less stressful.

Your relationship is bound to run into some stormy seas. Navigating these stormy waters isn’t made any easier by losing your sense of humor. As a matter of fact, I would prefer to be with a partner who can laugh at the stressful moments of life than be with a partner who is cursing like a sailor at every little wave that tosses our boat a little off course.

Laughter and a sense of humor is worth its weight in gold in your relationship. Laughter is essential to your individual happiness and the key to happiness in your relationship.

Laugh with your partner. Share funny stories about your day and your encounters with people. Look at the lighter of side of life – everything isn’t doom and gloom.

If you can laugh and keep your sense of humor when your relationship hits stormy seas, you will certainly survive the storm and sail onwards to brighter days!

Rekindle Romance and Happiness in Your Relationship,

Dr. Patty Ann
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It really is incredible how we can so easily see the things other people do, or say, that sabotages the romance and happiness they so desperately want from their relationships. It is almost as if people have been cursed with an inability to get out of their own way – especially when it comes to increasing the romance and happiness we practically live for in our most intimate relationships.

In an attempt to stop this sabotaging behavior, I am revealing the three most powerful things you must stop doing now that sabotages the romance and happiness you crave.

1. Sabotaging Activity #1: Checking email – or any other computer or technologically-based activities that find a way of stealing time away from you that you had planned on spending with your sweetheart.

Let me give you an example I am sure you can relate to. Dinner is finished and all cleaned up. You and your honey decide to watch a movie together. Before you start the movie you turn to your partner and say: “Just give me 5 minutes – I want to check my email and then you can start the movie”.The next thing you know an hour has flown by and you have gone from checking your email, to writing a response to those checked emails, to surfing the internet, and you have your honey waiting way more than 5 minutes – even though you promised you’d be gone only 5 minutes. Sound familiar?

Solution for Sabotaging Activity #1: Prioritize your relationship by actually setting aside time in your schedule to spend with your honey – and then stick to this time! Do not let anything else distract you or take priority over the time you set aside to spend with your honey. There is absolutely no “make-up” time for time lost from your honey.

2. Sabotaging Activity #2: Multi-tasking while spending time with your sweetheart. This romance killing activity gets played out something like this. You and your honey go out for a nice dinner together – but you are constantly checking your iphone or blackberry – reading your emails and/or responding to them – all while you are trying to have a dinner conversation with your sweetheart. Totally not cool! This is an incredible downer for your sweetheart who is left feeling neglected or at least not as important as everything else you just “have to do” rather than giving them your undivided attention.

Solution for Sabotaging Activity #2: Stop multi-tasking and be totally “present” and “in the moment” when you are spending time with your sweetheart. If the temptation to answer your emails is too much for you – shut your iphone or cell phone off while you are out to dinner with your sweetheart. It really won’t kill you! This is particularly important when you are celebrating special moments or achievements in your life like birthdays, anniversaries, promotions, etc.

3. Sabotaging Activity #3: Over-scheduling. Although you really want to spend time with your honey, you just can’t seem to fit your relationship into your over-crowded, over busy schedule. You can’t seem to find the time to spend time together because you are always always working, volunteering, busy running the kids around all over town, etc. There is absolutely no replacement for spending time with your sweetheart if you want to keep the flames burning. Overscheduling your life will surely distinguish the flames of love as sure as lack of oxygen will cool down a fire. Stop over-scheduling your life. Make time to take the time to be together – as Nike says, Just Do It!

Solution for Sabotaging Activity # 3: Slow down and stop rushing through life. Take time to smell the roses. Make sure you pay attention to the things that really matter in your life and that require your attention. To get good at anything we need to spend quality time at it – and that most definitely includes our romantic relationships.

I have just revealed to you three powerful ways you sabotage your relationship – and what’s even better – I have provided you with fool-proof solutions for stopping this sabotaging behavior. Go out now and spend some great time increasing romance and happiness with your sweetheart. Take time to make time and watch your love and intimacy explode.

Rekindle Romance and Happiness in Your Relationship,

Dr. Patty Ann
www.drpattyann.com
www.drpattyann.com/blog
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Whatever your partner’s “hot button” might be, it doesn’t make any sense for you to antagonize and challenge them about these issues because it is a losing proposition. In case you are unaware of your partner’s “hot buttons” they are the topics you bring up which always ends up in a fight.

Now I am not suggesting you cannot have a healthy conversation about differences and emotionally loaded issues in your relationship. What I am suggesting however; is the importance of having to accept the fact that there will be issues where you and your partner will never see eye to eye. It is during these situations where it is best to respectfully agree to disagree with your partner.

All couples have issues that cannot be resolved. For example, you are never going to convince your partner that your way of loading the dishwasher is the right way, or your political view is the correct one. A healthy relationship is not predicated only upon the similarities a couple shares together. Rather, a healthy relationship is also manifested in the ability for couples to disagree with each other on emotionally sensitive issues. The manner in which a couple agrees to disagree reflects the health of the relationship.

The next time an issue comes up in your relationship that pushes your partner’s “hot button” remember that the issue will probably remain unresolved between the two of you. In these circumstances, (and we all have them) the key for a healthy, happy relationship is to respectfully agree to disagree.

Building Together A Relationship Filled With Love, Health & Wealth,

Dr. Patty Ann
www.drpattyann.com
www.relationshiptoolbox.com/blog
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There are key points in life that can bring happiness into your life.  The following are what I would call the “key three”.

I often ask myself this when I hear the ridiculous question or statements that people say to each other; whether it be your spouse, fiancée, mother, sister, brother, friend, etc.  You know what I am talking about too.  You just wake up, you feel horrible; perhaps coming down with the flu, you didn’t sleep well and as you walk into the kitchen to make a cup of coffee, your husband says, “Good morning. Oh, honey, you look sick”.  Hmmm, just what you wanted to hear, right???  Why couldn’t he have just said “good morning” and leave it at that??

As I go about my day, it doesn’t matter where I am; The bus ride to or from work, the elevator, waiting in line at the post office or in line waiting to pay for a cup of coffee, it is an endless parade of verbal, pointless statements.  It makes me want to scream.  I encourage all of you reading this to start being aware of this with respect to your words and encourage you to either say something worth saying or be silent.  I am not particularly religious but have studied many dogmas.   Buddhism is one of my favorites, although quite difficult to maintain the principles and doctrines living in the mainstream world.  Probably why Buddhist monks live high in the Tibetan mountains!

Practice silence- I am guilty of blurting out whatever is on my mind.  Sometimes I think it is a mild case of Tourette syndrome (an inherited disorder of the nervous system, characterized by a variable expression of unwanted movements and noises.  Make an effort to stop words and actions when possible.  Start with restraining your thoughts to comment to your partner, friend, or co-worker about something they did or said.  Refrain from commenting negatively on their looks, behavior, or attitude.  Begin to perpetuate positive energy rather than negative.  Silence can do this by stopping your negative thoughts, words, actions.

Putting “silence” into practice is not easy.  It takes conscious effort and work, but the rewards can be great.  You can create better relationships by allowing others to “be” without casting words on them.  Begin a practice of no words by consciously choosing to not commenting about anything during a given period of time.  If you slip up, just recognize it and continue; whether it is for an hour or two hours, just start doing it.  Practice on your partner, friends, family, and co-workers.

Moving toward happiness- I know we all do it. We often blame others for our lack of happiness; often expecting someone else to make us happy too.  It’s a futile path.  As the Buddhist state, happiness comes from within, not without (meaning from inside of us not from some external thing).  If you put your partner down, blame them, argue relentlessly with them because of something they are doing or not doing, you are creating your own unhappiness.   One of my favorite books, “I’d Rather Be Right Than Happy- A Perfect Formula for Failure”, by Dr. Teresa M. Benjamin, details the ideology of blaming others for your lack of happiness and how to create your own formula for happiness.

Human purpose- One theory of human existence and why we are here is to love and be loved, learn life lessons, and awaken.  That’s a whole lot of “stuff”.  To not be aware of your purpose can lead to unhappiness and discontent in everything you do.  If you constantly complain that you are unhappy with your marriage, hate your job, or despise where you live, and do not do anything about it, then you have no one to “blame” (if that’s what you are looking for) but yourself.  Often events happen to steer us in the direction that we need to go.  Instead of looking at it negatively, find the positive in an event.  These events can help you find your purpose in life.  Sometimes it may be something that you have never thought of before; just let it in.  If you are struggling and know you are suppose to be doing something else and need some help, check out Eckhart Tolle’s newest book, “A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose.   It can open your eyes to the things that you have not been able to get a handle on

Final thoughts- You have the power to be happy right at your fingers.  You can have better relationships with others and yourself if you begin to be aware of what you are doing, saying, and thinking.  No one else can make you happy.  So remember to practice silence, move towards happiness, and find your purpose; keys to your own happiness by your own doing!

Cheers,

Robbie Lee, author of The Straight Man’s Pocket Guide To Picking Up a Hottie-Written by a Woman Who Loves Women.

Be sure and sign up for my mailing list to get an invite to the “hottie” party at Robbie411.com

When you look for something to make you happy and not look within your own being chances are that relationship will fail. Again I say why would someone want to be with you if you don’t like yourself? Now in all of my teachings I have found that once a person is aware of the fact that they can sit and laugh at a movie, by themselves, go away even if its for a night by themselves or even sit on a Friday night alone and have fun then and only then will others want to spend long periods of time alone with you. In liking who you are and excepting yourself for who you are and putting no “false” information out in the dating world you will in turn meet people who are the same. I am sure many already understand that like attracts like? I am sure that many think that they have met someone who as they will say, “is total opposite from me” but in the long run they find out that this person has many similar characteristics as they do.

In the entire meaning of all of this there is a real lesson and that is stop looking outside yourself for someone to make you happy, start liking yourself and making you happy and the attraction will happen. You will content with yourself and your life and this will attract someone who is also content, they are not looking to “find” someone to make them whole, they will understand that as a person they are already whole and that you are a whole well rounded individual too. They will be looking to “share” happy and sad times, to feel completed, to feel balanced and to feel confident enough to be themselves.