Beth Asked:

“I’m in a long distance relationship with my girl for almost 2 years and 3 times she has told to get the home ready she was moving to me. Everytime family members on her side either get sick, go to hospital, or pass away. I have spent so much money and have given so many things away to make room so now all i do is wait. She is caring for her ex and I know about this but he plays on her with the kids is she ever going to leave. She is so unhappy but having problems trying to transfer her job too. What can I do other then wait this out? The one thing now is the phone calls are alot less and I don’t hear from her but she tells me less then 2 weeks ago that I’m the love of her life and that I have her heart. I have tried to send gifts all of the time to her and her kids and support her as much as I can because we live in different towns. her town is not gay friendly at all. Is there anything I can do? she is very close to her family and tries to save the world type of thing. with all of their problems but I feel I’m on the back burner with this. Thanks”

- Beth (54, Kentucky)

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Julie Asked:

“Should I just give up on him? My best friend and I have always been close. We always opened up to each other, and the way we act towards each other is, well, different. But there’s one catch– he’s gay. I decided to tell him I felt, anyways. And guess what! He loves me too, ‘so much’, and he couldn’t imagine never talking to me ever again. I’m his best friend.

So I realized he didn’t understand that much yet, so I decided to wait. But then one night came and something happened, he felt like no one loved or cared about him, so I opened up fully to him. I guess my friend talked to him, too, since he told me that she said we should both be together. I replied back telling him whatever he wants to do, it’s his choice. His answer was, “But I have a boyfriend.”

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Some have it and some do not…Gaydar…the ability to sense what another’s sexual preference might be. Haven’t you ever heard someone say, “I have great gaydar! I can tell that person is gay because of this reason…” I would have to admit that my gaydar must be broken! The only way I detect someone is gay, is if they admit it. Or if they are overly masculine women or very effeminate men. But this rule does not always apply and is not a great way to distinguish someone’s sexuality.

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Marvin Asked:

“I moved in to this lovely home as a room mate, The owner fell in love with me the very first night I came to see the place, we hung out a few times, then it developed up to a point where we were inseparable. he had a partner while we where seeing each other, he said whatever happens happens, i made him so happy he knows that he had found his match, one night me and my lover and his official partner all when out to meet their friends birthday party that led to finish in a club. Well while I was probably out and about his partner confronted him and admitted the truth that him and I as in a relationship. so all of this spilled out while I was gone. Here’s the dilemma, now that he is finally free, he had some thoughts about us, first of all his 9 yr relationship with his partner is like this; never lived together, never shows affection to my lover, and they rarely have sex or some intimate relationship. Now he wants to be alone for a while to balance himself out, It hurts me to see him like this that I can’t help him at all but to be quite and back off, How can I be balance when I see him this way, it kills me in side and I don’t know what to do, I can’t sleep at night when he is not beside me, I cry my self to sleep, I am uneasy most of the day because he used to send me messages every morning, now that is gone, is he going to heal sometime and not ignore me anymore, should I just leave him alone and be on my merry way, and know that I let this one go please help I am in pain so much pain my heart hurts so bad every time I think about it.”

- Marvin (Male, 32, San Diego)

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As a lesbian nearing 30 years of being out, I finally felt compelled to write an article about bi-sexual women and to put a different spin on the ongoing debates about them. There are those who embrace them and those who dismiss them as soon as the word bisexual is uttered. I find there are as many different types of bisexuals as there are lesbians. Each woman coming with their own unique thoughts and ideas about what being a bisexual is.

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Reader’s, if you recall from last month’s issue? I had met a straight lady, who after consuming a lot of alcohol had been caught in a moment of indiscretion! After declaring her feelings of curiosity to me, she left me like the proverbial Cinderella with the imaginary glass slipper in my hand.

Until we were to meet again at our usual Ladies night out, I had a week to ponder these questions and wonder how I should approach her on the subject. I should mention for the purpose of the story, that I am an out lesbian and that I am comfortable in my own skin. Cindy on the hand, is more of a lipstick lady, who you would never know was gay unless she admitted it. But the chemistry between us, was off the charts and invariably Tequila was the catalyst!

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By: Marianne Vincent-Fonteijne

Yesterday morning Michael, William, Jeremy and myself were driving from Brussels to Amsterdam. Michael picked us all up, one after each other, in our respective areas. While we were patiently waiting for Jeremy in front of a florist’s near Montgomery Square in the European capital, Michael and the other guys were laughing out loud in the car: telling jokes about their gay-status in life. The word ‘gay’ that is also used in French, with exactly the same meaning, had been used several times in the conversation. All of a sudden, we saw an African guy vehemently knocking on the front passenger’s window. As Michael’s car had the shape of a spacious taxi, I thought the man was looking for a lift and told Michael so. The latter opened the window and we were stunned at hearing the man shout out at us:

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By: Marianne Vincent-Fonteijne

Last Saturday I decided to join my good friend William for a night walk in the unique Brussels Forêt de Soignes.  As we live in a chilly country where it is either drizzling or sprinkling under a grayish roof of threatening clouds, Anthony, the organizer, asked us to bring a sweater and our favorite drink not to freeze on the spot.

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Jina Asked:

I have been with my husband for almost 15 years we recently had our 4th child. Our baby girl was born 9 years after our last child.After three years of my husband pressuring me I quit my job and have become a stay at home mom. Also after years of my husband complaining about my friend I have cut off myself from people and literally have no friends. My husband does not hit me or anything he is just extremely moody and I am the sort of person that needs to please so this drives me mad. He has over the past two years develop a relationship with the guy next door whom at 33 still lives with mom and dad. This guy has the IQ of a pencil. I mean I could never imagine having a conversation with him as I am sure he could not even tell me who the president is. My husband on the other hand loves him. He is obsessed. This guy is constantly over I wake up and there he is. When my husband comes home from work he runs over and I do not see my husband again until dinner after which he falls asleep. I am concerned as my husband (who has not been a sex god for years) has completely lost interest in sex, I mean I ask and he down right refuses. If he does agree to sex he flips his erect penis at me and says ok lets do this (oh yeah big turn on). I have argued endlessly about this guy and how my husband prefers him to me and I really do not know what to think of this. If the guy calls my husband is suddenly happy when he cannot be around him he is moody and sad and just snaps at everyone. Is he gay?

- Jina (33, Barbados)

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Sam Asked:

“My best friend of 12 years is a male, we lost contact and in between he got married and then divorced. Now we have met up after 4 years again. He has a girlfriend and i’m still single. yes i have feelings for him but don’t want to loose the friendship. My question is why whenever i say i’m going on a blind date he firstly teasers me and then asks other friends if i really went out, and when they say no he smiles?”

- Sam (Durban, South Africa)

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