* This article contains information of a sexual nature. Before you can continue to read this article you must read and agree to the following. By clicking the link “Read More”, you signify that you agree to the following terms:

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Get “her” done. That is the modus operandi for far too many guys in the bedroom. Unfortunately, what it really means is get “it” done. Far too many of you don’t bother or worry about getting “her” done. This is because you don’t take the time to give her adequate foreplay time to achieve a maximum level of arousal. If you follow my suggestions, she will BRAG on you to all of her women friends and relatives. You will achieve a new found level of respect.

You can take my techniques and add your own. These suggestions are just designed to stir your imagination.

1. First of all, you have to stop thinking about getting yourself off, and decide that you want to follow the James Bond model of manhood insofar as spoiling women and pampering them. Women want to feel loved and cherished and not just getting laid.

2. Secondly, You can try by brushing her hair. Women love to have their hair brushed. Then progress to giving her a total body massage. Be sure to do her whole body from head to foot. Pay particular attention to her butt. She has nerve endings there that she does not even know that she has, all connected to her vagina. Also pay attention to her feet. All of her nerve endings come together in her feet.

3. Next, undress her SLOWLY. Let the anticipation build. She will enjoy being undressed by you. Don’t take off her bra and panties yet. Leave them on. Now start kissing her and caressing her all over avoiding her breasts and vagina. Stroke her hair, caress all around the erogenous zones.

4. Now start lightly stroking her nipples through her bra while continuing to kiss her. Stroke your finger just inside the cup and stroke all around. Then take off the bra slowly and start licking her breasts all over and then gently start sucking on them, gradually increasing the pressure as she is comfortable. Then, start kissing down her belly and stroking her lightly with your fingertips. Kiss and stroke down her belly past her vagina and do all the way down her thighs and calves. Come back the other side all the way back to her vagina. Remember her panties are still on. Put your mouth over her vagina and blow hot breath through her panties over her clitoris. Then insert a finger inside the leg band of her panties and stroke all around without touching her vagina. It will drive her wild!

5. Next, insert your finger inside the leg band of her panties and pull the crotch away to the side. Start licking between her vagina lips up an down. When you get to the top of her vagina, you give her clitoris a quick lick and go back to licking between her vagina lips. Then insert your tongue inside of her vagina. Stroke it in and out. She will be moaning and giving you encouragement at this point. You then begin licking her clitoris. Here is where you can really become a hero in the bedroom. You can gentle pull back the hood of her clitoris and directly lick the clitoris. You can then suck the clitoris between your lips and begin to suck on it like a woman performing fellatio on a man. The clitoris will actually become hard like a male penis and achieve an erection. You can give her an orgasm by giving her clitoris a blow job.

6. You can also use what I call the “machine gun tongue” technique. This is where you lick her clitoris with lightening fast motions to bring her to additional orgasms. You can do this by flexing your tongue against your upper lip and flick your tongue past it. By flexing your tongue against your upper you can actually flick your tongue faster for your partner’s pleasure.

7. Finally there is one more thing that you can do for fantastic foreplay. After having given your honey numerous orgasms, she will be begging you to take her. You can give her a real thrill. Hook your hand in the waist band of those panties and give one hard rip and literally rip her panties off. This will simultaneously scare her and excite her. Every woman has a secret rape fantasy. She does not really want to be raped but she wants to be taken forcefully and roughly by a self confident man. The key to using this fantasy, is that you want to make sure that she is highly aroused.

Go out and use this stuff. This is part of a chapter excerpt from my book. If you would like to know when it comes out, just send me an email to marriagecoach1@yahoo.com. If you want help with your relationship I will give you a free half hour consultation as well.

The information contained in this article, by its nature contains sexual content and images. This is a subject only for mature and concenting adults. In order to continue on into the rest of this site, please read and accept the following disclaimer:

* This article contains information of a sexual nature. Before you can continue to read this article you must read and agree to the following. By clicking the link “Read More”, you signify that you agree to the following terms:

• It is legal for you to view sexual material your locality,
• You are old enough (over 18 years of age in most countries) to view sexual material in your locality,
• You wish to view material of a sexual nature,
• You willfully and without coercion choose to view material of a sexual nature.

Are you giving it to her and if you are giving it to her, are you doing it right?!!! Not all women can orgasm through oral sex (cunnilingus); but for most women, it can drive them absolutely wild. If you can’t make her cum this way, it may not be her. You may not be doing it for her and she hasn’t felt comfortable to tell you. Every woman is different as to what exactly they like down there but regardless, it is a skill, an art if you will, that takes practice and patience to do it right.

Don’t rush. Take your time. Let her know you are enjoying yourself too. Naturally you don’t want her to fake an orgasm. If she has indicated that she can achieve orgasm this way, tease her with your tongue. Many women find the teasing a huge turn on; it’s almost like they think you are going to stop but don’t want you to kind of thing; gets their mind going. Orgasm is part physical and a lot of mind.

In my book, The Straight Man’s Pocket Guide To Picking Up a Hottie-Written by a Woman Who Loves Women, chapter six is dedicated to pleasing a woman sexually. Rule number 19 is “pay attention and let her cum first”. It is no secret that it is easier for a man to cum than a woman; so gentlemen, relax and do just that. Your turn will come and you will be on the road to being a very good lover to her.

First time. Remember, every woman is different. You want to bring your “A” game to the bedroom (or wherever you have your first time together), but you don’t want to just start doing the same thing you always do or your standard operating procedures you used on your last girlfriend. Like I said earlier, not all women can cum orally. So make sure you get some clear indication that she wants you down there, otherwise, forget about it. You don’t want either of you coming away from your first mad passionate evening together disappointed about sex for the first time being “mediocre”. You may think, “Oh, it will get better”. But honestly, I don’t think it will. It can get better as you get to know each other of course, as you get to know what each other likes, and you start exploring each other’s kinky side if you have one. I am merely talking about if either of you think the sex was terrible. It would be really hard to go from terrible to “off the charts”. Bottom line; you want the first time to be off the charts.

Mix it up. If you have a clear sign that she wants you orally, kiss her body as you make your way down there, use your tongue, use your hands. Caress her breast, tease her; as your mouth gets closer, move back up and suck on her nipples. The anticipation of her feeling your mouth “down there”, will drive her wilder and wilder as the anticipation builds. Once your mouth touches her vaginal area, she will love it. Let her talk to you, let her guide you. Do not be offended if she tells you to slow down. As a matter of fact, just keep in mind that you should keep it slow. You don’t need to flip your tongue around like it’s on speed. It has nothing to do with you; it is all about her and how she needs to be sexually/orally pleased. There are things to do there that can add to her arousal which will eventually heighten her orgasm; kiss and suck on the inside of her legs near the vaginal area, massage the same area with your hands, slide one or two fingers in her vagina, massage her breast. Do any and all of these things while continuing to use your tongue on her. You don’t want to just focus on the clitoris either. Her entire area will want your mouth and tongue and of course, whether you have a long tongue or not, slide it into her. Don’t be afraid to slide your thumb in her. The angle works really well to stay close to her and if it’s long enough she can experience your tongue and penetration at the same time. It is also a very comfortable position for you (physically) and therefore you really won’t mind if this takes her a little longer to cum.

Hygiene and grooming habits. These topics can be uncomfortable subjects for most people. It really shouldn’t be. To avoid any issues, if you and your date have been out all evening, you know dinner, dancing, socializing etc., it is only natural that neither of you will be as fresh as you were when you first got out of the shower. There are a couple ways to deal with this prior to jumping into “it”. Whoever is hosting should tell their partner “hey, I’m going to take a quick spin in the shower”. The “spin” is just a quick wash up to freshen up. Usually the other person will follow suit. There is the optional “huggie” or “baby” wipes that I personally keep near the toilet. You can use these to freshen up the personal parts if you think it’s way too cold or complicated to deal with the shower spin. Trust me, you’ll both appreciate the effort.

I also recommend keeping extra new toothbrushes around to offer up. If you both have been eating and drinking for the last several hours, it certainly would not be fair to be the only “fresh” one just because you both ended up at your place.

As for grooming habits, obviously this varies from woman to woman and from male to male. All men and women should do some grooming in the hairy areas. Yes, men too. Who on earth wants to get down there and find a huge bush staring at them in the face??? If you do and that’s part of your kink, that’s fine, but one should not expect that your partner is going to like that you have a ton of hair there. So unless they ask you specifically not to shave or trim, do it. While we are talking about body hair, I will through this out there now. Gentlemen, if you have an unusual amount of back hair or even chest hair, you should groom it, wax it, or shave it- just FYI.

Final thoughts. Pleasing a woman orally can be an amazing experience for her and you should really want to please her that way if she can cum this way. Don’t just go through the motions either; learn to be good at it. I have talked to enough women to know that there are not a lot of men out there that do this well. So don’t be “common or ordinary”- learn to be good at pleasing her orally. Find out what she likes and give it to her; be committed to becoming a great lover.

Cheers,

Robbie Lee, author of The Straight Man’s Pocket Guide To Picking Up a Hottie-Written by a Woman Who Loves Women

Sign up to my mailing list at Robbie411.com

What’s the big deal with orgasms? A lot, if you’re frustrated because you’ve never experienced one or if having one is a struggle. Fortunately, orgasmic troubles often can be resolved with a little education, practice, and, if necessary, consultation with a healthcare provider or sexuality professional.

What is an orgasm?

An orgasm is a brief period of intense physical release after a build-up in sexual tension. During an orgasm, most women experience:

• Muscle contractions in the vagina and uterus
• Increased blood pressure, heart rate and breathing
• Decreased sensitivity to pain
• A sudden, forceful release of sexual tension
• Flushing (blushing) over the entire body
• Some women release fluid produced by the Skene’s glands through the urethra. This “female ejaculate” is not urine, and it can range from a few drops of fluid to a significant amount.

Why are people so interested in orgasms?

Because they feel good! They can help you relax, fall asleep or even energize you. They also exercise your pubococcygeus (PC) muscle, which supports your internal organs and can enhance overall sexual pleasure. If you have a sexual partner who cares about your sexual satisfaction, orgasms may bring you closer emotionally. If your partner doesn’t care about your satisfaction, kick him or her out of bed.

Orgasms are usually the peak of a four-stage sexual response cycle, even though you may respond differently.

Seduction – This stage starts when you think about whether to shave your legs, put on perfume, change the sheets, wear something sexy, etc. Or when your partner nibbles your neck, or perhaps you’re by yourself, and you think about finding a private place for some personal play.

Sensations – During this stage, you’re playing with yourself or a partner, and your excitement builds until you reach a plateau where everything’s feeling good, your vagina is wet, and you’re not about to stop.

Surrender – This is the point at which an orgasm occurs if you can surrender completely to the moment, not caring what your face looks like, what sounds you’re making, or whether your body’s perfect. In other words, you’re 100% focused on pleasure.

Reflection – Ahhhh. You’re sweaty, catching your breath, resting…or gathering your bearings for another go-round: During this stage, you’ll reflect on the sexual experience: if it was good, you’ll be eager for the next adventure; if it was mediocre or worse, you’ll be less interested in a future go-round.

Orgasm may be difficult if you…

• Don’t feel free to express yourself sexually
• Are unfamiliar with your sexual anatomy
• Focus only on your partner
• Don’t allow enough time for arousal and stimulation
• Are embarrassed by your sexual responses
• Feel guilty about enjoying sex
• Take medication that reduces desire
• Have a sexual disorder

The bottom line is that orgasms can be elusive for many women, for many reasons. If you can’t solve the problem yourself, don’t hesitate to seek help from your physician, a sex therapist, or a sex educator.

You’re the first step to your pleasure

If you’re familiar with how your body responds, orgasms will be easier, and you’ll be able to coach a partner through what makes you moan with pleasure. Set aside time for self exploration, starting with a mirror so you can see what your labia majora (outer lips), labia minora (inner lips), clitoris, clitoral hood, urethral opening, vaginal opening, and anus look like.

Expect to look different from the pictures in erotic media: No two vulvas look alike, especially the inner lips, which vary from woman to woman – and even from left to right side in the same woman.

Once you know the lay of the land, put the mirror away, get comfortable, and try touching yourself gently, firmly, in little circles – whatever comes naturally. See what feels good…and what feels better. You might enjoy using a little lubricant, a vibrator, or even a pillow to rub against. If something feels really good…continue what you’re doing, by all means! Don’t pressure yourself to have an orgasm. You can always play more some other time.

If you’re uncomfortable touching yourself, engage a partner in the learning process. Set aside time for you to be the focus of attention, and verbally or manually guide your partner’s movements so you both learn what you like.

Is there a “right” kind of orgasm?

Orgasms can be traced to many parts of the body, but they’re triggered most often through direct clitoral stimulation. Most women do not climax through sexual intercourse alone. If you have a partner who can hit your sweet spot through penetration, great; if not, just use your own hand, a toy, or teach your partner what you need in addition to penetration. There’s no correct way to climax: the right orgasm is any kind you enjoy.

I’ve written an illustrated brochure called “Taking the Mystery out of Female Orgasm,” which includes a list of helpful books and online resources. For more information, visit http://www.honestexchange.com/Products/Pro_index.htm

Coming up: Tips for Talking to a Partner about Sex