By Keith Makenas

First off, I’m going to write a disclaimer:  I’m not trying to be negative here, I’m just trying to prepare you for what will happen in the near future.  The following is an example of what happens after you’ve been in a relationship for quite some time.

Month One: “OMG, he’s as classy as James bond, dances like Fred Astaire, and is as laid back as a cuddly Koala Bear on Quaaludes.”

“Dude! This chick is insanely awesome, she’s not like other girls, she brings me rum and cokes with ninety percent rum, she doesn’t mind my smoking and she said she wants to please me in the sack and do whatever I want, including bringing other girls into the bedroom!”

After a Year: “Yeah he’s changed, he doesn’t take me dancing he just sits around his apartment watching B rated horror films in sweat pants with a huge hole in the crotch so he can scratch himself.”

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First dates, first kiss, first times…are so essential to how we form our ideas for love. But what does love have to do with it? Today, everyone has their own perception of what love should be. Some of the most common reasons are for romance, solid relationship, compatibility, future, financial stability, kids, etc…While some of might settle for a lesser version of the dream, it is our own unique vision that keeps us out there searching for love.

I have come across women, who have actual lists of things someone must have before they will even date?

Here is a short list of examples:

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Would you marry you? If you were/are single, are you the kind of person you’d be looking for and want to hook up with?

Sure, we all want a partner who is our version of the Perfect 10. But truth be told, we cross our fingers that said Perfect 10 will settle for a Strong 7 and overlook a few of our less than perfect traits. When you’re dating and doing your best to impress the object of your affection, you’ve got a couple of things working for you: (1) your sweetheart is blinded by falling-in-love hormones, and (2) you’re on your best behavior. You’ll never seem more like a Perfect 10 than in those too-short falling-in-love days.

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Dashara Asked:

“Me and my bf have been going together for a yr and sometime now. he recently broke up with me because he said he doesnt trust me. im at the lowest of the lowest right now. he is in the military and is leaving for the uk next month. i want to win his trust back. i love this guy with all my heart. i want to gain his trust back. idk if he is doing that because he’s leaving for the uk. but i feel so hurt right now. i am studying to go to the military i feel thats my only option for him to trust me again….. is there still a little hope?”

- Dashara (19, Belleville, IL)

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Beckie Asked:

“My friend got advice that helped her on here and told me to try.

My boyfriend ignored me and thought i was uncool at school and now he says he loves me, i said yes but i think its only a joke?’

- Beckie (14)

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Anonymous Asked:

“I have been dating a girl for almost two years she says she is not an affectionate person. She will never hold my hand or even look at me in public. But when another guy comes around is perky and will talk to them about anything. Do you think she is embarrassed by me?”

- Anonymous (20)

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Tell me you don’t change when you start a relationship.  Not you right? Then why do you sound like Tiny Tim combined with Mr. Rogers when she calls you?  Maybe you always sound that way especially talking to the guys about the malicious hits the Bears were putting on quarterbacks…back in 1985 that is.  Don’t worry we all went through it and it’s okay.  In the beginning of relationships we really think the girls love socks with holes in them, the Foghat t-shirts we got from a carnival, and the Flobee haircut.  On the positive side, her changing you is a sign that she really likes you, but dislikes your style.

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If you lack confidence when it comes to making conversation on a first date, relax because everything you need to know is right here. Making conversation is simple.

The main reason that men end up feeling that they blew their first date is because they forgot they were talking to a woman.  Girls expect to be the center of your attention so when you go off for an hour on a personal subject they get turned off quickly.

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Break ups are hard but after time passes, you can find out that they are rewarding. I often find myself disgusted with things I enjoyed with my ex, like certain movies, televisions shows andetc. The reason why, is that I was becoming what he wanted me to be and still didn’t get the ring. So now I am in an exclusive relationship with MYSELF! What I mean by this is I take ever step that I would do in a relationship but for myself only.

Step 1: Look the part- When I get up in the morning I want to make sure I look good. As I step outside my goal is to make heads turn. I love to see men get wide eye and do the Charlie Chaplin with their eye brows as they see me walk by. I don’t respond to the attention physically because I know it takes more to get my time. Ever notice people who are in good relationships are quick to tell others that try to pursue them, that is what not responding to others attention being single is doing for me. Being confident gets you attention that you deserve!

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Jim Asked:

“For the past two years I have been in love with a 34 year old woman in my office I am 47 but the age thing is unimportant to her. She has been living for the past five years with her boyfriend who seems abusive to her. On several occasions she has said to me that she would love to move out but due to her salary she can’t. She basically told me one day that she falls in love with the wrong kind of guy like the “bad boy” type. She is divorced because her ex cheated on her. I too am going through a divorce and she was my moral support. As of yet it has not been finalized.

We started out like anyone else communicating. We seem to hit it off right away. We must have spent our entire days together. I would ask her if she would join me for coffee and we would spend an hour together just talking about the days events. She even asked me for my cell number. On special days like her birthday I would take her out to dinner. Last year I literally fell in love with her on her birthday. It struck me like a ton of bricks. I began to e-mail back and forth. First it was general e-mails then they grew more intense and more personal. She would share personal stories about herself as far as her visits to the gyno are concerned and when she felt bad on her time of the month. I would write to her love poetry and the like. Last Valentine’s Day I went overboard by writing a beautiful love poem with a red rose. She freaked out and didn’t know what to do so she called me on the cell phone and said to me we are only co-workers right? I said yes.

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