karen Asked:

“Hi Iv been with my boyfriend 16months he asked me to marry him 6month ago, and recently moved in. The issue is he still has not produced a ring, and whilst living with me he has not contrabuted to household bills. Although he does sometimes buy shopping or put fuel in my car. He is v.suportive of me and my children, even coming to parents evening. Im worried he’s not ready to commit, he is separated from his ex (For three years no sign od divorce, he started procedings but unsure what happened). Im worried im hanging on to him as iv been single a long time.We do have a v.special relationship, im really close to him, we talk like good friends, and are sex life is the best iv ever experienced.”

- karen (36, England)

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She Asked:

“i am in love with this guy from past 6 years.. we are from different religion.. my parents are against this relation.. he had cheated me several times in past, as he had few affairs in past. i have stopped trusting him. now my parents want me to get married though he is not yet settled. how to approach my parents and what to do? i am confused..”

- She (23)

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David Asked:

“i am in love with one woman and she is also in love with me. I always pretend normal friend like person in front of her. We havent commited to each other and i dont want to rush into the relationship. I future will it create problem for me if i take too long in commiting? and most importantly what she will think about me as? Will she come forward to first to commit to me ?”

- David (23)

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Jared Asked:

“My question is in depth. I am asking you, today, about a relationship. I’ll try and skip a few cliche parts, they’re not needed. But, here it goes: Boy meets girl, girl enjoys boy, boy talks to girl, boy likes girl, they continue to talk. Girl falls in love with boy, confessing her affection for the boy to him by saying ‘I’m falling in love with you’, relationship goes on, amazing things happen, boy falls deeper and deeper in love, boy wants this girl to be his wife. Girl wants to be his wife, boy and girl discuss children, boy and girl enjoy various aspects of life, PHYSICAL and mental, etc. Many first time things happen with both. All of a sudden, after a few times of fighting, girl breaks up with boy, saying ‘I don’t want a relationship anymore’, boy is depressed, worst he’s ever been. Seeks help, feels better, confesses love to girl in a pathetic manner, but, in the deepest detail he could go in, listing that he wants everything that would happen. Girl says boy must realize she doesn’t feel this way, and that they cannot be friends until he’s over her if it keeps hurting him. Boy refuses, boy and girl have contact every day, not direct, sometimes. Boy talks to girl, girl gives boy minor closure. “You were so clingy”. I understand I was clingy, I even gave examples to her and she agreed, she once told me i was obsessed with her, she commented that she loved it, i said i liked it too and it was because i loved her more than anything. Blah blah, etc. TLDR: Did she lie to me about something? These feelings do not just fade for me, yet they faded for her so fast. I wanted to marry this girl, yet, i was somehow too clingy? Does it appear there must be more to the reason for the breakup? Besides this, I am also wishing to give this girl time to think, and either find out she needs me, which i’m hoping she does, or, find out she doesn’t, in which case I will try very hard to move on. I am willing to wait a while. A long while. This girl is everything to me, so. So many more questions i’d like to ask, but i’m afraid i may have asked to much and told too little already. I hope you can help me, even if you cannot, thank you very much for trying.”

- Jared (18, San Diego, California)

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Most relationships have a honeymoon period where the other can do no wrong.  But what if you are starting to have some doubts?

If you have been dating someone for a few months you probably have started to see the real person and not just who they want you to see.  This may not be “romantic” but it is true.

Sheila an expert on East Indian Dating advises “Most people, whether unintentional or by design, try to only let the person they are newly dating see the best they have to offer.  Over time you both find out exactly what kind of person you are dealing with.”

Sometimes doubts start to pop up in your head early on.  When this happens within the first few months of a new relationship it is hard to know if you are being paranoid or have a good reason to doubt the relationship.

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Angelica Asked:

“Should I tell someone I dated one month who became my boyfriend shortly after that I had a one time affair early in our relationship? We have been together for one year now and will never be unfaithful to him again. He already has trust issues from a previous relationship and the reason I had affair was because I thought he just wanted to use me and I was not sure if I was going to stay in the relationship. He had told me he didn’t want a relationsip but ended up asking me to be his girlfriend after he got into some trouble. I found out he actually does love me.”

- Angelica (49)

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Mastering the art of the inner-view is worth every effort; slowing down, taking time to get to know someone and asking the tough questions, waiting to see if someone’s answers are revealed in their actions, remembering all the while that real love cannot be negotiated and great relationships begin within. And why not? What better investment is there when it comes to the real thing; authentic connection, the foundation for a loving, lasting relationship? Unless you’re convinced posturing, playing games and being insincere in an effort to gain power or avoid being hurt is the way to go.

Either way, finding out that the person you are sincerely interested in is; already in a relationship, married with 2 children, has absolutely no interest in being in a relationship with you, or just wants to use you for sex, isn’t pleasant. And if being in a great relationship were really as simple as having the right chemical reaction at the right time, stating the obvious would be way more fun (and I wouldn’t be writing this article).

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Ritah Asked:

“I have been seeing this guy for a few weeks when out of the blue he told me really I am thinking this is going so fast for me at this time. I really like you so I dont want to hurt you by leading you on when I am still not sure of my deeper feelings. What does he mean? Should I move on?”

- Ritah (29)

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Intimacy in our committed relationship. It can be so elusive. Sure, you get snippets of it here and there—enough to make you long for the real deal. You get glimpses of what achieving the Nirvana of connections is all about, You want it. You crave it. You even know what it takes to get it. Too often, however, the desire for intimacy is overcome by fear, the fear of being naked and exposed in front of someone who has the power to hurt you when you are most vulnerable.

You can experience physically intimacy with your duds on—a hug, a kiss, holding hands—but the ultimate intimacy is sans clothing, skin-on-skin, lights on. To be naked in front of another person is to be exposed and vulnerable. Even the most secure of us, will think twice about shedding jeans and tee-shirt if the last time you did, your sweetheart said, “You oughta do something about that gut.”  Being clothed makes us feel protected and allows us to hide what at least we perceive to be our flaws. This is even more so when it comes to emotional intimacy.

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Success in anything we do requires commitment, effort and investment of time and energy. The same is true for your relationship. Take a moment and think about how much commitment effort and energy you invest in your relationship. Be honest with yourself. Have you put the kids, your job, housework, your hobby, etc. before your relationship? Have you, albeit unintentionally, neglected your relationship – assuming it will always be there for you?

It is really easy to get caught up in “life”; especially in today’s world of multi-tasking and rushing around all over the place going from activity to activity. But doing all this running around often leaves our most intimate relationship simmering on the backburner – and if we spend too much time ignoring this relationship – we are bound to get burned.

Following are Dr. Patty Ann’s 3 Simple Emotional Investments which will triple the Love and Intimacy in Your Relationship! These investments are easy, simple and very effective!