Stormymind Asked:

“I am so lost and do not know what to do. I used to be an extremely confident and happy man with my whole life ahead of me. I was working in my field of study while in college and living the good life. I was an independent thinker and wanted to travel the world while working. I had dreams and goals.

I started dating my best friend’s cousin, who just got out of a 5 year relationship. She lived with the guy and was “engaged” to him…she says she did it to please her family. I was technically the second real boyfriend she had. Things were wonderful and she fell deeply in love. she would come over all the time and even told my mother that she loved me more than she ever loved the other guy…and this was after 3 months!

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When we fall in love, we sometimes fall with total abandon. Often losing ourselves in the relationships with our friends barely recognizing us because of the changes we’ve made. Change is good, but losing yourself in a relationship is an inexplicable phenomena. Then we feel cheated when the love ends without the happily ever after. Yes I know some of you out there don’t believe in fairy tales. Don’t get me wrong, I’m realistic but I still dream true love does exist and the possibility happily ever after can be obtained. Let’s face the facts , some of us look for love and don’t even know what it means? We fool ourselves by repeating our own special mantras, ex. “ I’ll know it’s her because my heart will not deny me .”  We often even unknowingly will rely on sex as our indicator of love. Sex is only lust and gives us the temporary illusion of love . That could explain all of those infamous U-Haul jokes, people so often connect lesbians.

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All four of them where sitting in the hot tub at John’s house, consoling their frustrations at Kyle with alcohol and anger. John noticed Kyle calling for the 5th time that day and finally picked up the phone. “Who is over there!?, who is with you!?” John sighs a bit “No one, Kyle…” Marie grabs the phone from John. “You fucking asshole!! Fucking all of us all at the same time! Without a fucking condom!” she breathes violently waiting for a response but Kyle has already hung up. Terry laughs approvingly since she is one of the many girls Kyle has lied to. He has led each girl on with promises of love and a serious relationship. Finally Kyle’s fragile house built of lies collapsed around him and even his guy friends feel alienated .

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10. Bad sex
This seems to me to be the most preventable one of the 10! See my entry on are you a dead fish? I once had bad sex and that relationship lasted about a week! However to be really honest I have often put up with bad sex to be with someone I loved. It eventually led to a break up because I was too unsatisfied in this area. Here is where the problem lies… I didn’t tell her. I broke up with her instead of making my needs clear. Could you be in the same boat? Is your boy hiding his dissatisfaction from you?

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