Note: the following article was written by Jennifer Edlund (see her biography below) and has been included for your consideration. Please be aware that the author’s views are her own and do not necessarily reflect the views of myself, LoveDetour.com, or our other experts. We encourage our members and experts to express their sentiments regarding this article in the comments - Do you agree or disagree with her position and why?
Courtship. Sounds like an ancient word, right? Oh and do men even court women anymore? If they do, courting these days might go something like this: guy buys girl drink, girl accepts drink, guy flirts, girl flirts back, girl goes back to his place, girl gets in guys bed.
Today, courtship barely exists and dating is simply meeting someone and sharing his or her bed over a period of several months. Then like a box of cereal, that person gets tired of having the same old thing everyday and moves on to something different.
Many people assume dating and courtship are the same by definition but in actuality, it’s two entirely different things. Let’s analyze how dating and courtship coexist and how it really plays out in our culture today.
A man walks into a bar and meets a woman. They talk for a while and decide to go out and have dinner together the next evening. At the end of their first date, they decide to go out again the following week. The dates proceed for months. The man is always on his best behavior and treats the women with the utmost respect, he wants to demonstrate to the woman that he is different from other men and he will continue to prove himself because really likes this woman. His behavior would be justified as someone who is in the “dating mode.” After several months, the man is comfortable enough with the woman and feels he can now let loose and be more of himself around her. Technically they are no longer dating but in a relationship. The man still feels he should impress the women and treat her well throughout their relationship. This process is labeled as the “courting mode.” Courting will proceed until a couple has gotten married. In other words, it lasts until the chase or the game is over.
It’s demoralizing to see dating and courtship in the midst of corruption. What does it say about society when men expect to get laid on the first date? What does it say about women who agree to a man’s terms and put out? Alas, we are at a point in time where a good amount of the population classifies dating as something to avoid. Men are jaded by the women whom expect to be wine and dined on every date and down the road those same men are humiliated and milked for all their worth. All the women wanted were the free meals; she never had any intention of pursuing a relationship. So what happens when he takes out the next woman? He’ll end up taking his frustration out on her and what happens to this same woman when she goes on a date with the next guy? She will treat him poorly as well. Sadly, it’s a chain reaction and disappointing for any of us who still have any decency left. Many of us who are still looking for the man/woman of our dreams may never find that person. The ones who do should consider themselves lucky.
As time goes by, dating will perpetually get worse. In the next fifty years, courtship will cease to exist and dating will merely be a word from history. Blame it on the sex and pornography on television, which brainwashes a man into perceiving women as inanimate sex objects. Blame on it music promoting women as whores and something disposable. Blame it on society for teaching a woman to squeeze as much as she can out of a man while trying to be independent. The only real way you can protect yourself from the drudged world of dating and courtship is simply by sleeping with one eye open.
About the Author — Jennifer Edlund lives in Anaheim Hills, California where she is currently working on her second fiction novel. Her first novel, Gunning Down Romance, is in the process of being published. While she works on completing her second untitled novel, she writes freelance articles for online websites about Love and Relationships. One of her articles recently won a contest and will be featured in Cosmo magazine in the coming months.
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Are you kidding me? All society does is make a mockery out of romance…why do you think divorce is so high? and relationships ever last!