Many people have the fear of taking chances in life because it means we have to make necessary changes that may be very uncomfortable for us. As human beings it is our nature to find our own comfort level. Once we define that level, we tend to stick to it for a long time until one day our environment forces us to get out of that comfort zone and find a new place where we can be comfortable again. What many people don’t realize is that making changes means creating more opportunities or possibilities. In the business world, we call this phenomenon “Opportunity Cost”.

Being in a long term relationship can be quite comfortable for us some times even though deep down we know the relationship might not work. This is due to what we refer to as “Convenience”. By staying in the relationship, it doesn’t involve challenges and changes. Therefore, this defines your comfort level.

For example, Luke has been with his girlfriend Mary on and off for 5 years. Luke is physically attracted to Mary, but he hates the fact that Mary doesn’t get along with his Mother. He doesn’t think he’ll marry someone that doesn’t get along with his family, but at the same time he doesn’t think that he’ll be able to find someone better than Mary. Mary on the other hand enjoys Luke’s company very much, but she thinks Luke is not very ambitious with his career. She is also afraid of losing Luke. Therefore, they chose to stay together to avoid any uncomfortable changes in their lives. After a year, they finally decided to break up and move on with their lives.

This is a typical scenario of opportunity cost. If Luke and Mary had decided to split before, they would have been forced to get out of their comfort zone to make changes in their lives. If they became single they would have had more opportunities to meet other people which could potentially lead to someone they would marry. Consequently, when both people have doubts about the relationship after they have tried to improve it without any progress, it indicates that the relationship will not work. At this point, you have to make a decision to move on. This will allow you to get out of your comfort zone and start creating new opportunities for yourself.

Being in a relationship can be comfortable due to convenience, although some people find comfort from being single but not by choice. In the other words, these people want relationship but they are too afraid to get it because lack of confidence and again, changes. These people should ask themselves, “How do I create opportunities for myself to find that special someone?”. By sitting at home in front of the TV every day is not going to do you any good unless you are very active with online dating and social network websites. Of course, online dating is another way for you to open more doors. However, there are many other things you can do to create your own opportunities, such as joining a local special interest club, where people there already share a common interest with you.

The worst thing one can do is not doing anything. For instance, Mike has been single for 2 years since the break up with his ex. He was actively pursuing girls right after the split, but because he was rejected a few times at the bar he started having doubts about himself that if he would ever find the one. Thus, he completely gave up on the bar scene and even going out with friends. Now, he’s very comfortable being alone even though in the back of his mind he knows he wants a girlfriend. This describes another scenario of being comfortable. If Mike would just go out with his friends to simply have a good time, his chances of meeting someone is much higher than him staying at home playing video games. It’s these small opportunities that will create the chance for you to meet someone eventually. If you had to recall all the people you have dated before, how many times did you unexpectedly meet someone you liked? I’m sure everyone can think of at least one case, because I can!

Change is opportunity, if you don’t feel something is right, it’s probably not right; simply change the way you do it. Eventually you will find the solution to the problem. Never allow yourself to be too comfortable with something you know it’s not good for you. Self-improvement comes from change.

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