Before we begin, let’s clear the air. I’m always asked, “Is there a difference between manipulation and lying?” Actually, there is a great difference. Utilizing manipulation does not require you to lie? I’ll give you a small example. About two weeks ago, my lovely wife was trying on one of her coveted outfits. This is one of those outfits that she loves dearly and doesn’t want to let go off by any means. She lives by the 80/20 principle in a major way. If you are familiar with the 80/20 principle, it refers to the percentages of the way we live and do things in life. She wears 20% of her clothing 80% of the time. If you’re still confused another example would be walking on 20% of your floor 80% of the time. Anyway, back to the main topic, some of my wife’s articles of clothing are not the greatest, so when she asks that question that all men avoid, which is: “Do you think I look fat in this outfit?” My response is simply, “I think the other outfit you have covers your body better, and makes you look sexier?” I didn’t lie to her. On the contrary, the words spoken were true, but made it clear to her that the dress she wanted to wear was inappropriate for her body. Now, of course some people will push, especially if it’s one of those critical people that have to hear certain words. I continue to reiterate the point until she is done pushing.

Manipulation in this sense is an easy way to tell the truth to those you care about or love. Let’s focus more on what is meant by manipulation. There is a negative connotation connected with the term manipulation.  The dictionary defines manipulation as handling, managing, or using, with a skill, in some process of treatment or performance. Manipulation is often surrounded by lying or taking advantage of someone by negatively juggling individual’s emotions. This is a case of not understanding the context of words. The definition of lying is telling or containing lies; deliberately untruthful; mendacious; false. Can you see the difference between manipulation and lying? Manipulation can be used as a skill to change language like putting together a puzzle (i.e., Language manipulation). Knowing a person’s personality and putting the correct words together can be an effective way to communicate, but it’s seems to be so much easier to just lie, especially when dating. Following this introduction, you will read several stories about the lies we tell and the result of each. Think about each story, what it speaks to you and try to learn from them. You might be surprised what you might see.

To be continued….

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About The Expert

On our About the Expert page, you can learn more about the author, including contact information and other posts they've written. About Rajah Smart, M.A. ED.