‘I wanted to be with you so bad and it was even worse when we did it. See, you are still playing games. You just realized you weren’t happy with him, and want to be with me now, plain and simple!’

‘You got up and left!’ She screamed.

‘Because you had a boyfriend! The same dude you talked about right after we were done and the dude you with now while you telling me you love me!’

‘Please don’t yell,’ as she started crying. ‘You have so many things you wanted to do and it just didn’t seem like you wanted a relationship with me.’

‘With you! I would have done it with you in a minute then. You heard me say it. We wouldn’t have fucked then.’

‘What about now?’ She asked.

‘Forget about your boyfriend!’

‘You know you are the one that I want,’ she replies.

‘Actions show better than words. Can’t believe you with a baby and a man to go with it.’

‘The baby isn’t his anyway.’

‘What?’ I yelled. ‘You have just been all over the place.’

‘Don’t even try it. Now you are trying to hurt me and that is not fair’ she explained.

She was right in saying that my goal was to try and hurt her. She deserved it in my eyes because of all the secrecy.

‘Why do you think I did not call you,’ she replied.

‘Feelings of guilt.’

‘Yes.’

‘You think I would have judged you or something. Women have babies; at least Derrick is taking care of it. Get the real father to take care of it too.’

‘It is not fair for me to do that since Derrick thinks the baby is his and the father is out of reach.’

‘Sharon, how could you do that? You are way smarter than the way you acting.’

‘It is difficult because I want to tell him but he really takes care of me,’ she explains.

‘Like he has been doing. Do you love him?’ I asked.

‘My heart cares for him and loves you. I am not asking you to be with me now, but when you are ready, me and the baby will be waiting for you.’

‘WHAT!’

‘Rajah, I wanted to tell you so bad, but…….’

‘You are saying that the baby is mine. Is that what you are saying? Please say that is not what you are saying!’

‘I have tried to tell you!’

‘My parents are going to whoop my ass!’

My legs became weak and my stomach began to turn, as my youth seem to be yanked from me at that moment. As we stood there, Sharon crying and this young man feeling sorry for himself, I began to realize that eight months of pregnancy were missed, the birth and the first few days. Something inside of me realized that she cheated me out of the experience that should have been mine and that another man, who stood in my way yet again, was claiming my child.

‘Why didn’t you tell me?!’

‘You have so much you want to do that I did not want to get in the way’ she replied.

‘You must think I am stupid. That is some dumb shit you talking.’

‘When you calm down I will talk to you. Don’t just walk away from me! We need to fix this.’

‘There is not much more to say. This is not something that we can talk about now’ I stated. ‘What am I supposed to do? You tell me there is a child that is mine and I don’t even know if it is a boy or a girl.’

‘He is very beautiful and favors his daddy. Don’t worry we will talk about it.’

‘Talk about what? I’m leaving it up to you. I’m not going to call you about this.’

‘I promise that we will take care of this,’ she calmly stated and walked away.

As she pulled away, she uttered the words “I love you,” leaving me to wonder what in the world just happened. In less than twenty minutes I found out that my friend was off, there was a chance I was a father, and that she supposedly loves me. As time progressed, she avoided me and we did not speak on this issue. Therefore, the friend that I once shared was no more and the son that I had did not know his father. The question was: Do I tell my parents? It was clear there was no reason to get them upset; therefore, they were not told. My life would continue to be led as the senior year grew closer and closer to the end. Ericka was my new focus and that is where my concentration would be placed. There was nothing more of the past that needed to be examined. It was time to move into a new frontier, which was the future.

To be continued…………..

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About The Expert

On our About the Expert page, you can learn more about the author, including contact information and other posts they've written. About Rajah Smart, M.A. ED.