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Are you giving it to her and if you are giving it to her, are you doing it right?!!! Not all women can orgasm through oral sex (cunnilingus); but for most women, it can drive them absolutely wild. If you can’t make her cum this way, it may not be her. You may not be doing it for her and she hasn’t felt comfortable to tell you. Every woman is different as to what exactly they like down there but regardless, it is a skill, an art if you will, that takes practice and patience to do it right.
Don’t rush. Take your time. Let her know you are enjoying yourself too. Naturally you don’t want her to fake an orgasm. If she has indicated that she can achieve orgasm this way, tease her with your tongue. Many women find the teasing a huge turn on; it’s almost like they think you are going to stop but don’t want you to kind of thing; gets their mind going. Orgasm is part physical and a lot of mind.
In my book, The Straight Man’s Pocket Guide To Picking Up a Hottie-Written by a Woman Who Loves Women, chapter six is dedicated to pleasing a woman sexually. Rule number 19 is “pay attention and let her cum first”. It is no secret that it is easier for a man to cum than a woman; so gentlemen, relax and do just that. Your turn will come and you will be on the road to being a very good lover to her.
First time. Remember, every woman is different. You want to bring your “A” game to the bedroom (or wherever you have your first time together), but you don’t want to just start doing the same thing you always do or your standard operating procedures you used on your last girlfriend. Like I said earlier, not all women can cum orally. So make sure you get some clear indication that she wants you down there, otherwise, forget about it. You don’t want either of you coming away from your first mad passionate evening together disappointed about sex for the first time being “mediocre”. You may think, “Oh, it will get better”. But honestly, I don’t think it will. It can get better as you get to know each other of course, as you get to know what each other likes, and you start exploring each other’s kinky side if you have one. I am merely talking about if either of you think the sex was terrible. It would be really hard to go from terrible to “off the charts”. Bottom line; you want the first time to be off the charts.
Mix it up. If you have a clear sign that she wants you orally, kiss her body as you make your way down there, use your tongue, use your hands. Caress her breast, tease her; as your mouth gets closer, move back up and suck on her nipples. The anticipation of her feeling your mouth “down there”, will drive her wilder and wilder as the anticipation builds. Once your mouth touches her vaginal area, she will love it. Let her talk to you, let her guide you. Do not be offended if she tells you to slow down. As a matter of fact, just keep in mind that you should keep it slow. You don’t need to flip your tongue around like it’s on speed. It has nothing to do with you; it is all about her and how she needs to be sexually/orally pleased. There are things to do there that can add to her arousal which will eventually heighten her orgasm; kiss and suck on the inside of her legs near the vaginal area, massage the same area with your hands, slide one or two fingers in her vagina, massage her breast. Do any and all of these things while continuing to use your tongue on her. You don’t want to just focus on the clitoris either. Her entire area will want your mouth and tongue and of course, whether you have a long tongue or not, slide it into her. Don’t be afraid to slide your thumb in her. The angle works really well to stay close to her and if it’s long enough she can experience your tongue and penetration at the same time. It is also a very comfortable position for you (physically) and therefore you really won’t mind if this takes her a little longer to cum.
Hygiene and grooming habits. These topics can be uncomfortable subjects for most people. It really shouldn’t be. To avoid any issues, if you and your date have been out all evening, you know dinner, dancing, socializing etc., it is only natural that neither of you will be as fresh as you were when you first got out of the shower. There are a couple ways to deal with this prior to jumping into “it”. Whoever is hosting should tell their partner “hey, I’m going to take a quick spin in the shower”. The “spin” is just a quick wash up to freshen up. Usually the other person will follow suit. There is the optional “huggie” or “baby” wipes that I personally keep near the toilet. You can use these to freshen up the personal parts if you think it’s way too cold or complicated to deal with the shower spin. Trust me, you’ll both appreciate the effort.
I also recommend keeping extra new toothbrushes around to offer up. If you both have been eating and drinking for the last several hours, it certainly would not be fair to be the only “fresh” one just because you both ended up at your place.
As for grooming habits, obviously this varies from woman to woman and from male to male. All men and women should do some grooming in the hairy areas. Yes, men too. Who on earth wants to get down there and find a huge bush staring at them in the face??? If you do and that’s part of your kink, that’s fine, but one should not expect that your partner is going to like that you have a ton of hair there. So unless they ask you specifically not to shave or trim, do it. While we are talking about body hair, I will through this out there now. Gentlemen, if you have an unusual amount of back hair or even chest hair, you should groom it, wax it, or shave it- just FYI.
Final thoughts. Pleasing a woman orally can be an amazing experience for her and you should really want to please her that way if she can cum this way. Don’t just go through the motions either; learn to be good at it. I have talked to enough women to know that there are not a lot of men out there that do this well. So don’t be “common or ordinary”- learn to be good at pleasing her orally. Find out what she likes and give it to her; be committed to becoming a great lover.
Cheers,
Robbie Lee, author of The Straight Man’s Pocket Guide To Picking Up a Hottie-Written by a Woman Who Loves Women
Sign up to my mailing list at Robbie411.com
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