Sexuality is a major force that affects not only our identity but also how we relate to others in public and private. An understanding of the breadth of what constitutes sexuality will increase your overall sexual satisfaction, not just your satisfaction in bed.

Sexuality is a construct best understood by looking at a model created by Dennis Dailey, PhD.

The model consists of five interlocking circles representing Intimacy, Sensuality, Sexual Identity, Sexual Health and Reproduction, and Sexualization. Within each circle are several elements, as follows:

· Sensuality involves your level of awareness, acceptance and enjoyment of your own body and others’ bodies. Its components are skin hunger, response to aural/visual stimuli, sexual response cycle, body image and fantasy.

· Intimacy is the degree to which you express and have a need for closeness with another person. Its components are caring, sharing, liking/loving, trust, vulnerability, self-disclosure and emotional risk taking.

· Sexual identity is how you perceive yourself as a sexual being. Its components are biological gender, gender identity, gender role and sexual orientation.

· Sexual health and reproduction relates to your attitudes and behaviors toward your health, childbearing, and the consequences of sexual activity. Its components are sexual behavior, anatomy and physiology, sexually transmitted infection, contraception and abortion (spontaneous or induced).

· Sexualization is the use of sexuality to manipulate or control others. Its components are media images/messages, flirting, seduction, withholding sex, sexual harassment, incest and rape.

None of these elements exists in a vacuum, e.g., a person with a lot of skin hunger – also expressed as a need for physical contact – may be frustrated in a relationship with someone who does not like to touch or be touched.

Personal experiences, values, spiritual beliefs and cultural values shape and affect everything about your sexuality; therein lie some big challenges as you try to mesh the truth about our sexuality with what you’ve been taught is acceptable, expected, pleasurable or healthy.

Ideally your sexual actions will be congruent with your values and best interests. For example, if you have unprotected sex and value biological parenthood, you need to know how sexually transmitted infections may affect your fertility. Values come into play when you interact with someone whose sexual interests clash with your comfort zone. An older person will benefit from knowing how to accommodate age-related changes in sexual function and physiology.

I look forward to helping you better understand sexuality and express your interests, needs, joys, and concerns, whether you are single or partnered. You are welcome to ask me questions and suggest topics that you’re curious about. Sexuality is a fascinating, important topic, and we will have fun exploring it together.

Coming up: Expanding Your Concept of Sexual Pleasure

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About The Expert

On our About the Expert page, you can learn more about the author, including contact information and other posts they've written. About Melanie J. Davis, M.Ed..