What is it about relationships that can make an otherwise sensible, even-tempered, reasonable creature alternately spit venom or fairy dust? Are we so hypnotized by the presence of another that we become deranged, one minute spontaneously rearranging our values, morals and boundaries in the name of Happily Ever After (or FABULOUS sex), the next searching feverishly for where we may have misplaced ourselves. If you’re like most two-leggeds, while this is fascinating coffee talk, you’re likely much busier trying to figure out how to pay your mortgage and buy back some of your freedom, so then you can feel good about yourself, so then you can get in a good or better relationship with someone who you will then enjoy this better, more peaceful life with. In the meantime, here is some advice on how to have a greater tomorrow right now!

Dear Maryanne,

My girlfriend and I have a serious relationship together. She thinks I’m cheating on her even though I am not cheating on her. She also has been trying to find ways to track my cell phone or track my text messages. She’s now questioning if I am bi or not. She did all this without talking to me as I found this out. What do I do and why is she doing this? I am not cheating on her, nor am I bi and I have nothing to hide. I love her very much.”

- Robert (30, Lakewood, CO, USA)

Dear Robert,

I smell a rat…a girl one. Usually when someone accuses their serious, non- cheating, straight partner of being bi and cheating they are projecting a smoke-and-mirrors distraction to cover up their own behavior. In other words, me thinkst your girlfriend is cheating on you, with perhaps another woman, my dear.

If I am wrong and she is having a torrential bout of insecurity (it does happen), I think you may want to sit down with your girlfriend and ask her what evidence she has of the said indiscretions. If the answer is “None,” then you ought to set some clear personal boundaries. Given that relationships thrive on trust, she needs to cease forensic investigations of your phone and texts. And if your relationship is as serious as you say, and she still cannot trust you given your word, having pledged your love, you are better off dealing with this issue now than married with children!

For further instruction on starting your best life NOW, check out Maryanne’s Thrive DVD set, on sale for $25.99. And check out Maryanne talking to expert Naomi Tickle on what makes people tick and why!

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About The Expert

On our About the Expert page, you can learn more about the author, including contact information and other posts they've written. About Maryanne Comaroto.