So you’ve met the perfect, or so you think, girl and now you want to take her home to meet the family. For some this would not even be an issue but there are several who are well not so happy about anyone really knowing where they came from. They have worked hard to become this that you see; they have spent hours working, studying or just relaxing and enjoying who they are. So why would there be such a problem, right? I mean the family can’t be that bad to have produced such a wonderful child!

Imagine for a moment that you are in this persons shoes, how you would feel, it might make the initial meeting go smoother for him. Sometimes people who have come from “bad” or “poor” backgrounds who have worked hard to change and improve themselves find it almost impossible to share that part with anyone, so be patient ladies and don’t push too hard about meeting the family.

Now for the issue at hand, as I always say “don’t be ashamed of what you cannot control” if you have come from a poor or bad environment this was not caused by you, this is not your responsibility to hide. Understand that this was your life style and although you have chosen to move onward and upward there is no reason to be ashamed by the way it was. Remember you are who you are for just those reasons, without that environment you would have not become the you you are.

Now when the time is right for you and you are ready to share the family with you significant other, do so with pride. Keep your head held high and remember that unconditional love is just that, not putting strings on those you care for.

If the situation is too bad and you really want no part of it then walk away! Plain and simple, but remember this will always be your roots.

Relationships are between the two individuals who are involved, the sad part is so many assume when you marry or move in with someone the entire family becomes the relationship. Believe me you can separate both worlds and melt them together as you choose. When you decide to infiltrate both worlds do it with pride, your significant other will not walk away because she loves you for who you are now, and believe me if she does then she is not unconditional and will not be a good equal partner for your future.

Keep all things, as you want them to be, love your life unconditional and remember your family can only embarrass you if you allow them to. Don’t be pressured by your woman to take her to meet the parents.

Now on the flip side what happens if she is not what the family will accept! Is she not as wealthy as you? Is she well not their cup of tea per say? This would be a huge issue for most and my thoughts are with you if you face this problem. But really how bad can she be if you are in love with her, how can a parent not like the one person a child has chosen? Well the truth of the matter is that a lot of parents have a preconceived idea about what type a person their child will marry. The parents are more critical then anyone you will ever meet. Sad sometimes they don’t even bother to give the person a chance.

I find that when faced with this situation that most people choose to just deal with the snide comments and the fighting back at home just so they can have both parties in their life. Sad that people have to put up with this because there really is a solution. First think about how many people have a dislike about this person, if it is not just your family and others have commented about them then maybe you need to listen, maybe not act on it but really listen to their concerns. Second show them this person from your point of view, maybe somewhere in the meeting they have missed what you like about them. Also a good parent will accept whom ever you choose to love. They will not tell you they have to be this or that, they will not put strings on your relationships for you, and above all they will be honest. I have always found with my kids that if I truly do not like the people they date I will voice my opinion however I will also tell them that if this is who they choose then I will accept that too. I have always stressed to my kids that it doesn’t matter what color, gender or whatever the person is as long as they are good to you. With all that said I am able to see their choices with an open mind.

While most people seem to always feel that the initial meeting will somewhat be awkward no matter what the most important thing to remember throughout the entire meeting is, keep true to yourself.

With all that said one can focus on the important things in life and stop worrying about the trivial crap.

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About The Expert

On our About the Expert page, you can learn more about the author, including contact information and other posts they've written. About Lavender Green.