It’s hard enough to be out in the dating pool, but to add into the mix children and it can become over whelming. Some will tell you that your not dating the child however if this child chooses not to like you then it will add unnecessary stress into the relationship. The statement about not dating the child is only half true, when you are dating a person with kids I hate to tell you but it’s a package deal. If the kids are not happy then I will guarantee that the parent will soon end it with you and move on.

There are points to remember and with these in mind it can help you actually enjoy those children and become much closer as a couple. First remember, they are little people, with brains, feelings and most of all opinions. When mom or dad date the kids become jealous and or angry, depending on how long mom and dad have been apart. With a jealous child it seems to be much easier to over come, if you remember that including them if this is an option or making them feel that while your out they have something special too. With the special part I mean anything from brining pizza to renting a movie, something that they can be happy with. I always suggest that people include the kids as much as possible so this entire relationship can grow in a happy positive direction.

Now with an angry child you have to over come the “fantasy” they have of their mom and dad getting back together, they see you as the outsider who is blocking this; they see you as the person who will stand in the way of their happiness. Hard as it sounds you can actually remember that underneath this all is a child who wants to give you a chance. Steps in the right direction with the angry child is being honest to them, let them know straight up that if they have a problem with you your there to talk it out.

Second thing to remember in the child dating factor is that the kids will always come first, (well they should anyway, but that’s another article) while you can arrange the perfect Saturday night dinner party for you and your date and the night comes and little Chelsea has a cold, you might as well pack in the party favors cause your date won’t be coming. This can actually score you some points with the kids, instead of getting angry tell your date that you will come there and bring dinner for all. Remember sick kids are crabby so pick up some coloring books and goodies to ease your pain.

Its really all about treating the kids like people, not like outsiders, keep your mind open and always and I can’t repeat this enough “ALWAYS” be honest with them. Children especially the smaller ones are sponges and they will absorb everything you say and do, they won’t forget, so don’t make a promise you can’t keep, don’t make a comment you don’t want repeated and don’t above all treat them as if they are kids, treat them as if they are small people.

Once you have over come the dating factor and move on into the relationship factor there are items you need to continue remembering, don’t try to replace the biological parent, they already have one, you can be as close as you want to be but never try to replace the first. Remember if you are always giving then they will expect it so in the beginning try to use time instead of gifts, children especially female kids have a tendency to see when someone is going to foot the bill for that shopping spree every month. Be an extension of the parent, be honest, strong and resourceful, this will work wonders for keeping your relationship going in the right tract with not only the children but also the person you are now building a life with.

Be happy and move forward with each day will come new problems, delights and more love then ever expected.

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