So your relationship has ended, now what? Are you going to sit for many months and dwell on what the other person has done? Are you going to blame the entire failure on them? Are your friends and family going to be so sick of hearing the entire story over and over again? Or are you going to learn and heal from what has incurred and move forward to a more rewarding future? When something comes to an end it is so easy for a person to automatically push all the blame onto the other person, but the truth is it does take two people to end the relationship, to kill the entire thing beyond repair. When you really think about what has transpired you can actually see that specific steps had lead you to where you are now.

If you are the person who has cheated and the other has found out and ended your relationship you need to step back and ask yourself “why did you cheat in the first place”.

Was the relationship you were in not enough? Was it lacking something? Take the time to really understand what made you do what you did. Take notes, you will see that the simple answer could be just, you and the other person had grown in separate directions and although you are feeling bad you weren’t really feeling that great to begin with or this might not have happened.

Now lets flip it over and you are the one that was cheated on, yes you to are to blame for that indiscretion. What was lacking in your relationship to make the other person stray?

See to every story there really are two sides, now not to say that there are those who just make the proverbial mistake and go out without thinking and do something. But there you need to ask yourself, “Is it worth dumping or being dumped over”? Can you fix what seems to be broken? But then again I go back and ask, what was not the way it should be to make someone cheat?

See when you want a real strong, good relationship, you want it to last, you need to understand that just like a job it to needs work. You need to accept your other half as they are, they too need to accept you, you need to not only grow together but also grow individually, if a person stays the same, with no growth they will wither away. Growing in directions together and singularly will enhance your world. You will be a happy individual with the internal peace of mind that assures you the other person loves you.

Be good to yourself after a split, but don’t push blame, except half and learn from it. Some have even experienced forgiveness, and even reconciliation. Believe me if you start with forgiving yourself, then move on to understanding and remember no blame, and then acceptance you too shall see a big difference in your world.

Your future relationships, whether it be new, reconciliation or what ever happens will seem to be more enlightening. Be the person you want the other person to be in a relationship, you want understanding, then be that, you want unconditional love, then give that, you want a person who is proud of themselves, then be it. What you project you will receive. This also works in the opposite way, if you are mistrusting then you will not be trusted, if you are angry and hurtful you will have that too, if you are unloving and conditional this is what you will receive.

Relationships begin with the understanding of one thing, be what you want to receive.

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On our About the Expert page, you can learn more about the author, including contact information and other posts they've written. About Lavender Green.