Everyone wants to love and be loved.  Just because you have suffered through the painful experience of divorce, does not mean your heart does not want to find love again.  It is not unusual to desire a relationship where you can have an emotional connection with another person.  Though this is natural and is to be expected, there are some things that must happen to make sure that finding love after your divorce is fulfilling and right for you.

1. Love Yourself

Make yourself your top priority.  In order to give and receive genuine love, you must first be able to give love to yourself.

2. Be Honest with Yourself

Evaluate your abilities, strengths, and weaknesses in relationships.  Evaluate and know who you are before trying to get to know another person.

3. Do You Like Yourself?

Are you happy with who you are on the inside and out? Do you have self-respect and self-confidence? If the answer is no, how can you expect anyone else to feel this way about you?

4. Let Go

To prepare for a new relationship it is important to deal with any unresolved issues from past relationships. Let go of any hurt feelings, resentment, and anger. Not only those that have to do with your divorce, but also former relationships and those from your childhood.  You do not want to repeat past mistakes made in your relationship history.

5. Ask Why?

Be honest with yourself in asking why you desire a new love in your life.  Distinguish which are good reasons and which are unhealthy.  Do you feel incomplete without a partner?  Do you think that you can’t be happy without romantic love?  If so, it’s time go back to number one!

Keep all of this in mind as you get ready to pursue love and a committed relationship.  Consider that all relationships take work and sacrifice.  Make sure you are willing to put forth this effort, only after you have succeeded in loving and respecting yourself first and foremost.  Only after this, will you be prepared to do the work that makes loving another person successful.

About the Author: Kim Hess lives in San Francisco, CA with her two very wonderful, very energetic boys. She is a writer, entrepreneur, and Divorce Guru whose current mission in life is to help people realize that their lives can be better after their divorce than it was before. She facilitates divorce support groups around the Bay Area and loves corny jokes and stadium mustard. Visit her at www.kimhess.com to contact her for a phone or in person consultation.

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On our About the Expert page, you can learn more about the author, including contact information and other posts they've written. About Kim Hess (Divorce Guru).