Old flames never die they just fade away… Volumes are spoken in those few words; the anatomy of an unfulfilled love with the unanswered questions of what could have been, haunting you somewhere in the back of your mind. It seems like certain people have a destiny to come in and out of our lives, an old flame always leaving the biggest impression.
I’ve always said ex’s are ex’s for a reason. Yet as we remember the heartbreak, we also replay the good times over and over again in our heads. Can you ever realistically go back and start again…a different type of relationship with the ex, or is it far too easy to fall back into old patterns and repeat the same mistakes of the past?

While many of us make the effort to change for the better and begin reaching out to new opportunities. They are those, who are safe in their own little world, never changing or desiring what is out of their comfort zone. I believe there is the possibility of re-visiting the past. But you have to have learned the tough lesson of why the romance failed in the first place. It takes courage to walk out on that limb and take the chance for ”one more time”. It also has to be the desire of both parties willing to take the first steps in exploring a new chance at love.

I have learned unique lessons from the women I have dated…sometimes repeating the same mistakes but also finding new clarity in a situation that perhaps I did not see before.

I dated Christina for a period of 3 months, I thought she was my dream come true and told her as much. Then while lying in bed that night, she asked “What am I suppose to do with that?”

I was shocked by her revelation…she continued “I am far from perfect and am working on trying to better myself. Yet you put me on a pedestal and say I am your dream come true. How can I ever live up to your expectations?”

“Christina, I meant it as a compliment. We both have had our own unique struggles and are working toward a better future. I admire you for the obstacles you have overcome and I find the courage to tackle my own issues. The statement was never intended as an insult”, I tried to desperately explain my words.

It was as if my words instantly changed her, “You have a lot of great qualities that I like, but we want different things and our values are different. I am sorry but I cannot say that you are my dream come true, because in the light of day, I just don’t see this relationship working.”

So though we had a great beginning, the first month brought some incredible disclosures on both our parts. The second month became more strained as the reality began to give way to the challenges of everyday life.

The third month was incredibly difficult, I allowed her to control certain aspects of the romance that created a lot of turmoil and uncertainty. I had also made a decision to close my business and was trying to discover a new path for myself. Unknowingly trying to follow Christina footsteps instead of my own and feeling the impact of her every word of not being good enough for her.

So after 2 years of changes on both our parts, Christina and I would see each other from time to time and my heart always wept for the loss. There have been other relationships for both of us, but there was a special chemistry between us that was hard to deny. She may have been able to turn off the emotional connection but I for whatever reason could not let go of the dream. There were times that I saw her and all the negative feelings about the relationship would come back, leaving me even more disillusioned. While other times I could not help but wonder with all the changes in our lives, if there might not be a chance for a new beginning and a fresh start with a better understanding of each other.

All in all, I loved her then and truth be told I love her still! She has just entered into a new live in relationship and I do wish her love with all the incredible moments that go with it. Though she acknowledges the changes in our lives…I had always hoped for one more time…but this is my own desire and love cannot grow with only half a heart…Ultimately I wanted her to have her dream come true even if it was with another, I know that the dream still resides within my own heart and someday if I am very lucky…I will find my dream come true in the arms of a very special lady!

Until next time dear readers have faith, a new adventure is just around the corner…contact me at HelloMsHeartbreak@yahoo.com

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On our About the Expert page, you can learn more about the author, including contact information and other posts they've written. About Gina Landeau.