I don’t know about you Gir (L) s, who are just beginning to date again? But I’ve been single for 3 yrs and find that a lot of ladies are only interested in what I call, “No Frills Love.” My definition of this statement means sexual relations with no complications or strings. You go into these relationships with your eyes wide open, but do you truly know what you are getting into? I think this is fine for most, who are still searching for what they want or want only little to no entanglements that go along with a real relationship. It’s almost as if when we get older, it becomes a type of balancing act that just as we begin to get accustomed to our own independence, we are less inclined to get involved, yet still yearning for the physical relationship with another person.

We all want to love and be loved…the human touch can be so healing and results in a level of comfort that we all desire and long for. Even if at times we compromise ourselves for these moments of pleasure. How many times has the momentary moment of pleasure meant more to you then being alone for a night? I’ll be honest and say ladies, that I myself have found myself falling into this trap, this illusion. You go into it defining it as consenting adults, no attachments, no emotional baggage, etc…it will be whatever will be for a night, 2 nights, or so, etc…

Compromising for the moment the pleasure of just being with someone for the connection of warmth. Why not? Since the real thing is not beating down our door. Is it morally right? For many of you, I am sure the answer is a resounding No! For me there are times that just to have that human contact even if it is with conditions is worth it, for it provides me with a varying degree of comfort that still provides me with the clarity of consenting adults with no illusions.

Do I ever desire more and am I capable of sustaining a real relationship? Absolutely! I desire, wish and pray for it on a daily basis. But you know I’m an old dog and I find myself changing daily to meet the needs of the new, the past and the future. Will I know when love finally comes knocking on my door? Will I recognize it? I certainly hope so and I pray that I am not becoming one of the jaded many who cannot see what is front of them.

But there is another side to this delicate coin, which I call “instant love” I’m talking about spending less than 24 hrs with someone only to see a reflection in their eyes of forever or for them love at first sight. Please Gir(L)s, you cannot live your life through someone’s else’s life experiences, being instantly needy of constant attention is a sure sign that it will not last. It serves no one’s purpose and it will send anyone experiencing it to go running for the hills! You can only control how you feel, you are not responsible for someone else’s intentions or lack of.

Let’s go back for a moment to the term “consenting adults”, be sure to be clear with your intentions…if it is a one night stand? Then be sure that it is totally understood by both parties. If your intended is already looking at you with puppy dog eyes then know that no amount of words or intention will change whatever this person is already creating in their mind. You can recognize it, if someone has just fallen for you in a short period of time, as difficult as it is, just clearly say “No!.” Don’t even open the door to getting involved with this person, they are way ahead of you and you can save everyone from a world of heartbreak and misunderstanding.

So if you are true with your words and your intentions with everyone you meet than you can avoid misunderstandings and emotional pain that can accompany these types of entanglements…be clear…be honest! Leave little room for errors, mistakes, misunderstandings, etc…know that you control your destiny, your path and ultimately your true goal for real love. Compromise is a “Real” fact of life…just be sure about what you are getting into…always I cannot stress this fact enough…be clear and honest with your words, your actions and lastly your intentions! This one bit of advice that I wish to impart to you dear reader’s and it will change your life.

Until next month, have faith the next adventure is right around the corner!

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About The Expert

On our About the Expert page, you can learn more about the author, including contact information and other posts they've written. About Gina Landeau.