“I WANT MORE OF A COMMITT WITH MY BOYFREIND, BEEN WITH HIM 5 MONTHS NOW ITS STILL THE SAME NOTHING IS CHANGING?? HOW DO I GET THAT?”

- She (71)

“So i have this really cute teacher. He’s 24, and I’m in high school. Ive always thought he’s been really cute. Since last October or so, I’ve started to secretly take pictures of him after school. Ive continued to ever since. I think he caught me once… About a month ago my friends and I threw him a surmise party.I took pictures there and he saw me and knew i was. I stay after to do work, but mostly to be with him. I don’t get a lot done though. So the other day someone told one of the guidance people at my school that i had pictures up of him on Facebook. i had 3 up but it was of my 2 friends and him in the background. The guidance person talked to me about it and today my teacher asked me if the guidance person did. He said I’m not allowed to have my camera out during or after school anymore- well around him, and i think thats unfair because i take pictures with my friends after school. His class is my last period and some of my friends ride the bus, so i cant get a picture of them any other time of the day, also because we have different luncher. He also said i can’t stay after unless i have a specific question. I used to stay almost everyday. Sometimes when I’m feeling bad he asks me whats wrong and i talk to him, like an adult friend, but still as an authority figure. I have emotional issues and he’s the only adult, close to my age but who is still an adult, who i can talk to without feeling weird. The problem is i get more of my work done in his room staying after class rather than at home because his room is calming. Not because he’s there. Also, when i have to take notes or whatever, i might have questions later about what I’m reading after I’m half wy done. How am i supposed to ask him the questions if i can’t stay late? I know this is all over the place, and I’m sorry. Its just that i feel like things are going to be REALLY awkward between us. What do i do when i have to stay after to ask him a question? He said i could but i feel like its going to be weird. Does he think I’m a stalker? My mom says the whole school system has to have a “crackdown” and make sure nothing looks sketchy but it feels like he thinks i am a stalker. We used to have a really good student-teacher relationship. He was kinda like a big brother. We used to make each other laugh and smile all the time, and i don’t wanna loose that. What should i do? I feel like I’m obsessed. Am i? I have a therapist by the way. I just really don’t want to end the year on an awkward note. (if there are any misspellings that don’t make any sense to what they are supposed to be its because my computer does an auto correct)”

- She

“My boyfriend and I have been dating for 8 months. He doesn’t trust women. He doesn’t like me talking to friends of mine that I’ve known for over 10yrs plus. He’s very jealous and says it’s because he loves me but I told him it’s not love it’s insecurity which he agrees with. He said he’s scared that another man will take me away from him. He told me how he grew up which wasn’t very nuturing and that he was raped by his teacher for about 1yr when he was 10. His ex girlfriend cheated on him while she was living with him and his ex wife used him. He is constantly accusing me of cheating which I’m not. He thinks every man wants me which they don’t. I grew up with a very open mind to people and life I too was molested as a child. I was once cheated on but as my mom said one monkey don’t stop no show. I had a controlling ex husband but got out of that marriage quickly. I’ve tried to be very supportive to my boyfriend, told him how much I love him, that I would never cheat on him. He does have double standards which I’ve told him about. He has a very good heart but I don’t know if I can continue this relationship given our ages I’m ready to get married again. He’s very suspicious of when my phone rings and I don’t answer it. I have nothing to hide.”

- Mary (50, Atlanta , GA)

“My boyfriend of a year, and thought was the love of my life ended our relationship. He is in the military and getting ready to deploy to Afghanistan. He told me he still loves me and said we would still be together if he wasnt deploying but due to uncertainties about his future he thought it was in both our best interests to end things now. He worries about if his feelings change when he goes away and doesn’t want to take a chance he may have to end things from thousands of miles away. However, in the past two months since we broke up, he has come to see me twice and it’s like old times. I can see how much he still loves and cares about me by the way he touches my face and tucks my hair behind my ears. He hold me like he doesn’t want to go and we will even just sit and stare at each other with the look of care and concern in both our eyes. I fear he has made the decision to end our relationship because he thinks it’s what he has to do, but that he doesn’t really want it. He’s not a good communicator and i am just lost because he says one thing, but does another. Any thoughts.”

- Joanne (38, Michigan)

“my wife of 1 year has stopped being affectate and is very distant she has gone from always giving me a hug and holding my hand to not wanting to be anywhere near me and the sex has now stopped for over 3 months which is very strange. i have asked her about it she says its becuase she is coming off her contriseption injection. but i feel its somthing more than that. ive know her 15 years and i can spot the behaviour pattern change. my wife is notmally a very kissy huggey person and now its just stopped and if i hug her i can feel her cold up and its awkward. again ive asked her but she says nothing is wrong. also both me and the wife enjoy a good healty eating diet and she knows im not into crisps and chips but of late she is over eating these things and i suggest its in defiance aginst me. she works in a school and last year she acted the shame way and in the end i found out that it was becuase a male memeber of staff and her where exchanging flirty texts luckly i found out before it went any further and i nipped it in the bud i also marked the males card. things went great for 8 months and now slowly shes behaving the smae agin although ulike last time she isnt hiding her phone or she isnts getting make up on for school so i dont thnk its that again. but i am at the end of my thoughts and feel very ill over this can someone help.”

- Dean (38, England)

“I fell in love with a girl who is christian and I am hindu, we dont’ have any religion problem for marrying each other. we love each other very much as i started knowing her i got to know that she tried marrying a guy which failed due to her parents not agreeing to it. later she fell in love with a married guy and she never felt having a relationship with a married guy is wrong. i met her and we started liking each other and she fell in love with me, earlier i didn’t wanted to love her but wanted to do some timepass but she was really in love with me. i ignored her for 2 weeks due to my ego and she again went back to this married guy as he was threatning her with emotions like he is going mad and all. later i fell in love with her and told her i dont want to be ur second option and let me know if u have any one, she said “no” i have only u but she was in contact with this guy as well. one day she completely fell in love with me again and said i am coming leaving everything behind u. but i found out that she had gone to meet him and when i asked her she said it was just a casual meet and i love u not that guy. after that she stopped talking to that guy. Now i told her that i am going away from u for some time and if I feel i can’t live without you i will come back. I stopped talking to her from last one week but she messages me saying she cries every night. please tell me what I should do? should I still go and marry her? i still love her a lot. only thing bothers me is she didn’t think relationship with a married guy is nothing wrong. she knew she can’t marry him but still she was in relationship with 2 and half years and rejecting all the guys which her parents were suggesting to her. She is a girl who loves only one person and doesn’t care about whole world and doesn’t care if he is married or not. she is asking me to forgive and give her a chance to leave with me where she will be staying more loyal than a dog. please advice what to do, should I stop talking to her to keep talking to her and see if she still contacts with this guy or should i completely come out of this relation. one thing she impressed about me is i said i am gone marry you and don’t bother about ur past.”

- Raj (28, Hyederabad, Andra Pradesh)

“Ok, so I work with this girl and just recently broken up. from the beginning she always told me how much we have in common, wall mentioning that we have so muchin common. I’ve tried looking for theoretical signs of interest such as flipping hair,etc. When she speaks to me she is always messing with her hair she tells me personal stuff that I thought I wouldn’t hear. I am extremely interested in her, but I need to know if she feels the same way. Any advice on whay I coupd do outside of just asking her? I cant sleep or focus on anything but her. hopefully I am not wasting my time.”

- Danny (26, Nashville)

“Okay I’ve been in a relationship with my childhood crush for about 6 months now. It isnt a great deal of time but from the way things operate you would think longer. I do have strong feelings for him, just like many other girls my age would feel, but sometimes I feel like the excitement we had in the beginning is gone. He’s a great person and he’s always there for me but I’m having some thoughts. Yesterday at work two attractive guys and one of the guy’s girlfriends came in to have dinner. While I was clearing tables the friend with the girlfriend asked if it would be okay if his friend gave me his number. Usually I would have politely declined but I couldnt seem to say no so I allowed them to sneak it to me. I texted him a while after my shift and we talked for a while but not today. I feel guilty because my boyfriend wants me to elope with him next month and has kind of been pressuring me about it but if I did what I did last night I feel like since I’m only nineteen it would be the dumbest decision ever, but when I’m with my boyfriend he finds a way to make it sound like the right thing. I’m too scared to share this at fear of being judged, but I need an adults advice since I’m not acting like one.”

- Kari (19)

“Dear Ms/sir,
I am a 34 year old man an I have been with my ex gf of 30yrs for the last 2 years, we had our ups and downs (like most people I guess) but on the whole I was very happy in the relation, I love her and I liked almost everything about her.

The main issue that I was not comfortable with was that I felt like second to her family, that is if her mother (her father passed away)wishes to goes out its the priority, Ill have to skip. To make things worse (from my perspective) her mother is the possesive type, she wants to keep all her children around her, even when her younger brother is going out she try to persuade him not to and to stay with her inside.I also got to know from her that her mother did not approve of our relationship.

I am mentioning you this issue because it was (what seems to be) the fatal blow to our relationship, she asked me whether I would go to live with her for good and I replied that as things are (myself feeling an alien to her not as family or such)I would not be comfortable with such a move. So she dropped the relation there. 3 days later she msged me to tell me that she was in pain (emotional) and I replied that I am ready for ourselvesto see things through and try to rectify, I even tried to talk her into it but she did not want. then 2 weeks no contact. 2 weeks we happened to meet in the traffic and she honked me, I waved back, the next day she messaged me that she cannot look away from someone whom she loved for 2 years and maybe love him still.I did not answer.

Now it is 1 month from this message and 6 weeks from when we left, in the meantime (about 3 weeks ago) on a sidenote she deleted me from her friends on facebook.

What in your opinion should I do?keep up not contacting her or do get in touch?keep in mind that overall I was very happy with this girl, when we would be alone, and with no outside pressure it would be the best time ever.

I thank you in advance for your reply”

 - Roderick (34, Malta)

“Im in love with my bestfriend. She’s a girl. She fell in love with me as well. We dated for a year but we constantly fought. I hurt her bad. I lied and treated her wrong. But i love her. Im just stupid i suppose. I always broke up with her but i took her back everytime. She’s broken up with me as well but she also always took me back. But she recently broke up with me and isnt taking me back. She has a boyfriend now. We’re friends and i told him i like her but i didnt tell him we went out. Our relationship was a secret. We still hook up and tell eachother that we love one another. We recently got into a big fight and now shes acting as if she doesnt care for me. Im trying to act that way as well but im just hurting. I dont know what to do anymore. I dont want to let go. Im losing faith in everyone. I know im young but please. I need help. With everything. With anything.”

- Jane (17, Riverbank, CA)