Do you know the difference?

Making love is the act of having sex that involves a certain level of intimacy and emotion. Raw sex is the act of having wild, passionate, uninhibited, animalistic sex, while not introducing a lot of “heart” emotion or emotions triggered by thought. Raw sex can be really hot. Although once the act of raw sex is over, emotions may sweep in and take you over. If you are in a committed relationship or exclusively dating, having both at different times is a great way to keep your sex life interesting.

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When in a relationship, sometimes (god forbid), the fire begins to die. The flames turn to small embers and steamy nights turn into TV show marathons. I can’t tell you how many times my coupled friends come to me for advice about how to spice up their relationships. I say, it’s all in the sex.

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Are you feeling the effects of the current economy? Is your relationship suffering because of it? Well don’t despair….there are things that you can do.

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Justin Asked:

“If I have experienced a drop in sexual desire for my wife does that mean I am falling out of love?”
- Justin

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I’ve been wondering why so many books are published about sex positions. My own professional library includes the Kama Sutra; the Cookie Sutra (gingerbread cookies having sex); books with positions during pregnancy; for arthritis sufferers; for straight, gay and lesbian couples; for people into kink…just to name a few.

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It’s human nature to want to have a steady relationship in the colder months then it is in the warmer months. With winter coming there is less time spent out of the home and more time relaxing and watching television or laying by the fire. With each day that passes more people begin relationships that otherwise would not be started. Not to say these relationships will not work out. In fact, these have actually proven to be a more stable more “user friendly” type of relationship.

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Ariel Asked:

“My fiance and I have been together for 5 years now. We have a beautiful 2 year old son. We were each other’s first in everything…. kissing, holding hands and we were both virgins when we met. When I entered this relationship I really pictured it differently. I left a lot of things to be with him (my family, schooling, friends, church) and made a lot of bad decisions. However, I saw what no one else could see- not even his family- in him. I have very little self respect when it comes to him and I let him practically walk all over me- but I love him. There is nothing I can do to change that. I clean, I cook, I take care of our son, I literally take care of him like a mother would, I walk to work and still make time for a sex life… but by the time it happens, I am just not in the mood. I have begged, pleaded, yelled, screamed and fought for him to show me the slightest bit of affection and not treat me like a roommate or friend but he interprets my asking as nagging and therefore doesn’t respond in the way that I would like him to. Is there anything that I can do to make him change from the robot-like person incapable of showing affection and just become the person that I fell in love with?”

- Ariel

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Ross Asked:

“I am involved in a “polyamorous” relationship with my wife of 17 years and my girlfriend of 2 years. Recently my wife told me, “I love you, but I am not in love with you.” This came out of no where and I was completely at a loss. This relationship was my wife’s idea. My wife and my girlfriend met and talked. Over time, the two of them will only talk to each other if they have to. My wife says she stopped loving 3 months ago. She does not like to play the “blame game”, yet she wants to throw everything at me from the past that she says I did. Yet anything I try to say about the past, I am playing “tit for tat.” I love both of them with all my heart. I have no idea what to do since she will not talk to me about anything to let me know what happened.

I am looking for anyone who has experience with polyamorous relationships. I feel like my whole world is caving in on me and I don’t know what to do…”

- Ross

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Secret affairs can ruin a marriage, but more often than not, they are not a relationship killer. In fact, 82% of marriages affected by an affair actually have happier couples after the affair. The reason is that the affair reveals that something is wrong in the relationship, and most couples want to correct the problems.

While recovering from a secret affair isn’t easy, you can live a happy life with your spouse after the trauma. Among the many things that people need to work on after finding out about a secret affair is how to have sex after infidelity.

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A long time ago, I remember being out with a female friend who told me she occasionally fantasized about other men when having sex with her boyfriend. At the time, I wondered how common this is among couples. I also wondered how many people do this but don’t admit it to others.

There are two issues here. First, is it okay to sexually fantasize about others? Second, is it okay to sexually fantasize about others while you are having sex with your partner?

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