“So i met this girl. I saw her in passing a few times but I never had a real conversation just a few hi and passing. One day she asks for my number and from there we were off. She let me know she was unhappily married and had some other things going on and didnt want to involve anyone else in her problems. however we talked constantly, always flirting, she tells me I’m the first thing she thinks about and how she thinks im cute. Well we were suppose to go out for drinks on her day off and she waits until the last minute to tell me that she’s not putting drinking and spending time with me over skyoing her husband. Ok fine so I told her she should have let me know that earlier. So I stop by her room at like 1 in the morning just to make sure we were ok. She told me we was and then the next day messages me and tells me dont show up at her door anymore and basically to stop talking to her. What happened and what should I do from here?”

- Cassidy (21, Dover, DE)

“Im caught in a intense love triangle with a girl ive been with for three years, and a girl i met years ago and we fell off,but just a few months got back in touch. The girl ive been with for three years i love to death but things have been rocky for the past couple months, from lies,and just pointles arguements. The other girl lives in another state now but ive see her a lot and she treats me so good,and i have caught so much feelings for her. My girl and i now just argue,and i mean i love her truly but i dont know what to do. I dont want to string either of them on..any helpful advice? Thank you”

- Leshawn (21, Bloomfield, CT)

“okay nd my bf now ex well he had been cheating on me and it was the whole relationship but he told me wen he goes to parties he gets drunk and ends up doing something stupid and well he cheated on me and brokeup with me cause he realized wat he did the next morning and the day after he wanted me back and i dont know whether i should give him a second chance or not and its been stressing me out cause i love him and i wanna be able to give me and him another shot.”

- Gabbie (17, Opelousas, Louisiana)

“My story is complicated. I currently have a boyfriend who I’ve been with for almost 2 years. There is this other boy I’ve know since a little girl but began to like each other and develop love 9 years ago. We never got to establish a real relationship due to distance. But we were madly in love. My problem is that right now I’m loving him and my boyfriend at the same time. I think of him every single day and we barely talk because now he has a child and girlfriend. I feel that he still has feelings whenever we chat to see how life is going and so on. I just don’t know what to do? Do I tell him I still love him? Do I just stay with my current boyfriend and continue being tormented by the thoughts of the other guy in my head every single day? HELP. I don’t want to wonder for the rest of my life what if’s.”

- Anon (20)

“This guy i met trough internet, and now we are having s long distance relationship. But nothing goes right… sometimes he is good to me sometimes he is not…he says he wants to be with me and he only wants me…but we keep fighting around little and stupid stuff…he keeps coming back and apologizing and i keep taking him back… ever time we talk on the phone he says that he is crazy about my voice and that he cant help his self and he masturbates everytime he hears me talking…i dont know what to do, how to handle this situation? sometimes i think he loves me but sometimes i feel like he is just using me?”

- She (21)

“My bf and I have been together 17yrs. The last 7have been great, we get along well and do love each other, we’ve been through a lot. The first 10 were not so great. My bf had upwards of 15 one night stands. Some he had sex with, others oral sex and some just making out with them. I found out about some of them and was mad and hurt and decided I wasn’t enough for him and inturn had 2 full blown affairs back in 2000, both lasted a few weeks. He only knew about one of them and was hurt and that was his reasoning for a few of the girls he was with…after 2001 I thought everything was fine between us and never thought he would cheat again…I was wrong, he had 2 other girls in 2004 and 2005…2005 I got pregnant with our son and my bf said something in him changed and he never again cheated…neither have I (I did however correspond via email in 2008 with one of my affairs, but strickly as a friend)…the past almost 7 years have been fine, we have 2 young kids and we both seemed content…

however last month for some reason we decided to air out any secrets we had…this is when he found out about the affair of mine he didn’t know about and I found out about a few girls, 3 from 2000 and one he slept with in 2004 and one he had oral sex with in 2005…the difference is now instead of us being mad at each other we’re both heartbroken…we’ve gone through so much together over the years and thought we knew everything from the past. So finding all this out has been horrible…the good thing is the last month we seem to be so much more in love with each and affectionate to each other because we both realize how much we truly do love each other…we both don’t ever want to hurt the other again which is a great thing. We’re planning on going to Vegas in March just the two of us and quietly getting married. I have wanted to marry him since we were young foolish kids so I can’t wait…however I’m worried about a few things…and oddly none of them are if he is going to cheat again!…I’m worried this “honeymoon phase” we’re in right now might end and he may feel he’s made a mistake. Secondly I’m worried about the girl he had sex with in 2004. She is a friend of his sister and was introduced to him back in 2000, he spent the night at his sisters and they all lied to me about it, he says nothing happened that night but I’m not sure, she then ran into him in 2004 and that was when they had sex. We ran into her again in 2005 (me having no idea they had sex), last weekend I was talking to his sister about this and she was concerned…it seems this girl is clinically depressed among other issues, my sister in law isn’t great friends with her anymore but still chats via Facebook…we went through all the emails between this girl and my sister in law and there are about 30, all initiated by this girl, only 10 responses from my sister in law, every single email in a round about way is asking about her “family” and personal information about her nieces and nephews. She asks in every single one if she can go over to my sister in laws house…we moved to the other end of the city and through the emails found out that she too now lives literally minutes away from us…I’m affraid this girl has never gotten over my bf and I’m not sure if she’s going to try cause problems…the last issue I have is I can’t get the images of my bf and all these girls out of my head…its eatting me alive and I don’t know what to do.”

- Sue (35, Edmonton, Alberta, Canada)

“hi – i just broke up with my fiance of 15 years in july2011- we have a son of 11- he went to work uk in nov 2010 and in july 2011 came home and broke up wth me-he said i dont think   i really ever loved u and cant see my self ever marring u – i still find u very attractive- and maybe we can always have our little thing together!– so he has come home a few times to see his son and due to him staying in family home- i am silll liven in famiy home due to financial circustances– we have been together- i guess only sexually to him–i guess im still in love with him and am findin it hard to move on— but why would he try to be with me– i think i know the answers to these questions– ie he wants his cake and eats it– hes selfish- he just needs sex -the july prior to him leaving  i did something bad to hurt him as he hadnt been treating me very well– he was a builder all his life and earned good money and due to recession took work bouncin in local niteclub- when he finished at 2am he sat and drank at bar till 6am or even later 8am 10am- of coure at first i thought he was messin around but did go a few times to pick him up and generally he was just having the crack chatting ad excessively drinking- he admitted he was lonely and was out searching for that miss right– i could write and wrte – prop need to get counselling as ireally feel fucked up about this- lonely – the thought of been a lonely parent- i miss him- i know he wsnt good for me—- but why does he do that- come on to me and we end up in bed?–

why is he using me- why did i not see this years ago- why did i let it go on for years- why am i so afraid – six months have passed- tryin to be positive

- Orla (38, Ireland)

“Hi Iv been with my boyfriend 16months he asked me to marry him 6month ago, and recently moved in. The issue is he still has not produced a ring, and whilst living with me he has not contrabuted to household bills. Although he does sometimes buy shopping or put fuel in my car. He is v.suportive of me and my children, even coming to parents evening. Im worried he’s not ready to commit, he is separated from his ex (For three years no sign od divorce, he started procedings but unsure what happened). Im worried im hanging on to him as iv been single a long time.We do have a v.special relationship, im really close to him, we talk like good friends, and are sex life is the best iv ever experienced.”

- karen (36, England)

“I’ve been in a long distance relationship with a guy while on vacation in Turkey for about 1.5 years. At first, I was totally against it and he wasn’t even my type and I rejected him but as I got to know him, I saw that he was a good person, career oriented, and really seemed to like me. He comes to visit me in the States and I visited him a couple times in Istanbul. The problem is, I am due to move to Turkey to live to be closer to him, as his job is more lucrative and I can easily relocate and work. However, I am having doubts about the relationship. He comes from a traditional family and he is keen to marry and have lots of kids. I’m not even sure if that is what I want right now. We don’t have a a ton of stuff in common and I feel like I”m just settling for him because I think I’m 27 and should be getting married soon. I broke up with him once before but we got back together after we talked about it. Whenever I express any doubts he always says he will do whatever he can to make me happy, and I know he is not lying, but I just have a feeling there may be someone better for me but I am afraid to break up with him and be alone. I don’t know if it’s the distance creating these problems (when I’m with him, things go well) or if I’m not just in love with him. any advice?”

- Krisna (27, US)

“I’ve been living with two girls in a shared house for about 4 months now. I became very close with one of the girls and we eventually started holding hands and ended up sleeping together several times. She has told me she doesn’t want a major relationship and although I feel the same to some extent I am a bit confused as to where I stand. We still hold hands and cuddle up and make out most days but it seems like its always me putting in the first move. She never pushes me away though or says she doesn’t want it which is confusing for me. She works full time and when she gets home she does her own things so I only really get to see her briefly before she gets to sleep. I’m worried because she doesn’t really seem to be giving me as much time as I am willing to give her. We consider each other really good friends but I do want a bit more and considering she doesn’t push me away when I’m  being affectionate I think she does too. What are your thoughts? Where do you think I stand?”

- John (25, Boston MA)