“So i met this girl. I saw her in passing a few times but I never had a real conversation just a few hi and passing. One day she asks for my number and from there we were off. She let me know she was unhappily married and had some other things going on and didnt want to involve anyone else in her problems. however we talked constantly, always flirting, she tells me I’m the first thing she thinks about and how she thinks im cute. Well we were suppose to go out for drinks on her day off and she waits until the last minute to tell me that she’s not putting drinking and spending time with me over skyoing her husband. Ok fine so I told her she should have let me know that earlier. So I stop by her room at like 1 in the morning just to make sure we were ok. She told me we was and then the next day messages me and tells me dont show up at her door anymore and basically to stop talking to her. What happened and what should I do from here?”

- Cassidy (21, Dover, DE)

“Im caught in a intense love triangle with a girl ive been with for three years, and a girl i met years ago and we fell off,but just a few months got back in touch. The girl ive been with for three years i love to death but things have been rocky for the past couple months, from lies,and just pointles arguements. The other girl lives in another state now but ive see her a lot and she treats me so good,and i have caught so much feelings for her. My girl and i now just argue,and i mean i love her truly but i dont know what to do. I dont want to string either of them on..any helpful advice? Thank you”

- Leshawn (21, Bloomfield, CT)

“okay nd my bf now ex well he had been cheating on me and it was the whole relationship but he told me wen he goes to parties he gets drunk and ends up doing something stupid and well he cheated on me and brokeup with me cause he realized wat he did the next morning and the day after he wanted me back and i dont know whether i should give him a second chance or not and its been stressing me out cause i love him and i wanna be able to give me and him another shot.”

- Gabbie (17, Opelousas, Louisiana)

“My bf and I have been together 17yrs. The last 7have been great, we get along well and do love each other, we’ve been through a lot. The first 10 were not so great. My bf had upwards of 15 one night stands. Some he had sex with, others oral sex and some just making out with them. I found out about some of them and was mad and hurt and decided I wasn’t enough for him and inturn had 2 full blown affairs back in 2000, both lasted a few weeks. He only knew about one of them and was hurt and that was his reasoning for a few of the girls he was with…after 2001 I thought everything was fine between us and never thought he would cheat again…I was wrong, he had 2 other girls in 2004 and 2005…2005 I got pregnant with our son and my bf said something in him changed and he never again cheated…neither have I (I did however correspond via email in 2008 with one of my affairs, but strickly as a friend)…the past almost 7 years have been fine, we have 2 young kids and we both seemed content…

however last month for some reason we decided to air out any secrets we had…this is when he found out about the affair of mine he didn’t know about and I found out about a few girls, 3 from 2000 and one he slept with in 2004 and one he had oral sex with in 2005…the difference is now instead of us being mad at each other we’re both heartbroken…we’ve gone through so much together over the years and thought we knew everything from the past. So finding all this out has been horrible…the good thing is the last month we seem to be so much more in love with each and affectionate to each other because we both realize how much we truly do love each other…we both don’t ever want to hurt the other again which is a great thing. We’re planning on going to Vegas in March just the two of us and quietly getting married. I have wanted to marry him since we were young foolish kids so I can’t wait…however I’m worried about a few things…and oddly none of them are if he is going to cheat again!…I’m worried this “honeymoon phase” we’re in right now might end and he may feel he’s made a mistake. Secondly I’m worried about the girl he had sex with in 2004. She is a friend of his sister and was introduced to him back in 2000, he spent the night at his sisters and they all lied to me about it, he says nothing happened that night but I’m not sure, she then ran into him in 2004 and that was when they had sex. We ran into her again in 2005 (me having no idea they had sex), last weekend I was talking to his sister about this and she was concerned…it seems this girl is clinically depressed among other issues, my sister in law isn’t great friends with her anymore but still chats via Facebook…we went through all the emails between this girl and my sister in law and there are about 30, all initiated by this girl, only 10 responses from my sister in law, every single email in a round about way is asking about her “family” and personal information about her nieces and nephews. She asks in every single one if she can go over to my sister in laws house…we moved to the other end of the city and through the emails found out that she too now lives literally minutes away from us…I’m affraid this girl has never gotten over my bf and I’m not sure if she’s going to try cause problems…the last issue I have is I can’t get the images of my bf and all these girls out of my head…its eatting me alive and I don’t know what to do.”

- Sue (35, Edmonton, Alberta, Canada)

“My wife shares our problems with old guy friends and she leaves the house with clothes packed and will call me later to say she is staying with her girlfriend or mom. She jumps when her sons father calls and she has the nerve to get mad at me when she has a moment I dont want to be bothered. Im fed up and am I wrong to think she is cheating whether it to be physically or socially? I feel I am 3rd on her priority list, behind her, her son then me. You cant live in my house when i pay bills, clean, etc and think im gonna sit back with this bs…”

- He (42)

“how to get over lying and cheating, I just can’t stop!

I have been dating my ex for 4 years. it’s always been lol rough with daily arguments and jealousy seens. I truly loved her so we got engaged and I even came to US with her. While here I cought her 3 times trying to cheat but ultimately forgave her, finally she went over board and I had to move out a year ago.

It was really tough hahaha:) I was acting like clingy, deppendent and insecure, but soon started dating. With in One year I dated more than 30 girl, and damn I was on fire, Internet bar party friends, you name it, and so a pain started to go away ( I sound like a looser already lol ) but anyhow I made it.

6 month ago I tried calling my ex and we hooked up and started dating again but knowing her I just could not stop lying and I was cheating on her with 2 other girls at the same time. She took it, though I guess she new and even almost got me when I was in AC when I told her I was working. ( damn ) …

So anyways finally I sad I will try for real ( though it’s kinda hard to forgive her for cheating on me ) but lately she started acting all weard and now it feels exactly the same when she was cheating on me( txts, ” lets use condoms” all off a sudden, no txts calls for 3 days and finally being disrespectfull, this is when I know she has some one for real) only thing is, she would still sleep with me, but not make love to me. ITs weird.

So finally, I feel like I had been with plenty of girls in my life but since we broke up I lye all the time in order to have 3 girls dating at the same time. Now I wasn’t like that before she dumped me and now I can’t stop. I wanna find someone I can settle with but they are ether not too good looking not too perfect body or not too smart, my ex was all that , but I dont think I can trust her and going like this hurting girls being a jackass ( that’s what I hear they say ) all the time is no good.
What’s wrong in this picture?”

- Oli (33, Clark, NJ)

“if your boyfriend/spouse says he is NOT talking to one of his ex’s anymore, but yet this said ex, still trys to contact him ie i love you, i miss you so much, but he says he hasnt talked to her in quite sometime. i believe him to an extent but wants to write this said ex and ask her to leave him alone, is this wrong of me? or should i trust my instincts and believe that my bf isnt talking to her like he says he isnt?!”

- Megan (25, Dallas, Texas)

“Hi, I am a girl (19) and I just wanted to know if this is considered cheating.

My boyfriend went to a tennis match and it was a over night event. His friend invited girls and they all drank alcohol. My boyfriend got really thirsty and he continued drinking the alcohol. He became really drunk and ended up sleeping beside a girl when everybody went to sleep. He scooted closer to her and she did, too. She put his arms around her and she snuggled on him when his eyes were closed. After a minute or less/more, he moved away. She kissed his cheek and ear. She asked him to kiss her on her forehead, and he did. When she tried to kiss his lips or hold his hands, he felt really guilty at the point and looked away, saying “no!”. When she asked him if kiss on the lips was prohibited and he said “no” again and moved away from her. When he woke up, he felt really guilty and confessed to me (crying) that day when he came back.

The thing is, he loves snuggling and he actually “wanted” to snuggle with her. He also felt really close with her when they were talking. Is this cheating and should I stay with him?”

- Megumi (19, Tokyo, Japan)

“me and my ex have been going through this on and off type of relationship for the past four years, during the last year of our relationship he turned into this mean person i dont want to be with him, ive had my ends straw but i feel like the only way i can be happy is to talk to him, hes started rumors and believes that i have had sex with a number of guys. But i got into the relationship a virgin and still to this day its only been him. i just want to know what to do, how to prove i have been honest. My parents dont approve but my thoughts have even wondered as far as calling a talk show host to take a lie detector test so he’ll get off my back and leave my family, my friends, and myself alone. hes honestly ruined my life i want this to end, what do i do ? please help!”

- Jasmine (21, Fort Wayne, Indiana)

“Is she cheating on me and if not, should she be? I am happily married to a great woman who I have known for over 14 years. The only real problem we have is different views about sex. We make love at best once a month – rarely more often and sometimes less, even every two or three month at times. We have discussed this and she knows I would love to be able to do it daily, but she insists that once a month is all she needs, and she almost never initiates. It has basically always been this way, with very rare periods of time as exceptions. We went on a vacation to the island she was raised on and made love every day for two weeks, but when we got home it was back to same routine. I am passionate but no stud in bed, very small cock and a quick trigger if I have not had a bottle of wine. Also have gotten somewhat out of shape over the years, but am working on that. She insists she has no problems with me physically but I find that hard to believe and wonder if she is really getting her satisfaction on the side with someone else. And if not, would an affair maybe renew her interest in sex and be good for both of us? How do I figure this out?”

- Greg (44, Brooklyn, New York)