Chelsea Asked Relationship Experts:
“My ex boyfriend and I met in October and instantly hit off and started dating on November 7th 2010 (he flew to Japan from California. He left his long-distance girlfriend for me). He was 16 and I was 17 at the moment. We were shy in the beginning but we always wanted to be together. We were each other’s first everything and we lost our virginity to each other. We talked all night until 5am or until we both fell asleep, we met each other at least 3 times a week, we called each other “baby”, told each other how much we loved him/her, we both met each other’s family and friends, and literally everybody knew about us. We had our relationship status public with a profile picture of both of us on Facebook. Everything felt SO perfect that we were both afraid to lose each other and at the same time thought that we were too good for each other. We fought and argued a lot, revealed our secrets, we cried, we laughed, we were jealous, etc. Just being with each other (taking a nap was our favorite thing to do) was amazing for almost a year. Then, a week before our 1 year anniversary, he got drunk at a tennis away-game party (way far from where I lived), a girl took advantage of him, and he ended up snuggling + kissing her forehead on the bed at 4am in the dark. He felt emotionally connected with her, too. It doesn’t sound like much, but I was hurt. When I met him before he confessed, he was crying alone and hugged me tightly whilst apologizing. We both went to school the next day with puffy eyes because we cried all night together. Everybody at school told me that he was literally dead at school…and some jerks were making fun of him (he even started crying when he tried to explain what had happened to his friends). We tried to work things out, but it was hard. I lost trust in him and he felt guilty. I couldn’t get over the incident so I told him that he could go to parties as long as I was there, but that didn’t help the case. We fought a lot more seriously and we started to get annoyed with each other. 4 months of fighting, he gradually drifted away (stopped calling me, texting me, got annoyed with me, etc.). I could tell on Twitter that he became friends with my classmates (through tennis), and he got really close with one of them. I could tell he changed a bit, too, like he became less passionate and became a guy who “acted” cool. Then finally, he told me that he was “confused”. Then “I can’t do long-distance for college”. Then “You’re like a sister to me”. Then… “I’m not in love with you anymore”. He still got jealous though, like he got angry when I was drunk and slept on my guy friend’s knees. My ex stared at me from the other side of the room at a bar. He bought my dinner. He still wanted to talk to me and was curious on how my day went. You could tell that he didn’t fully move on yet and he was trying. He always denied the fact that he was hanging out with my classmate and told me the reason for the break up was because he couldn’t do long-distance. … read more
