Ashely Asked:

“i have been with my boyfriend for a year and a half. we love eachother a lot but i have gotten to the point where i am obsessive about him, i worry and think about him constantly, if he doesnt pick up the phone i panic, if i dont see or talk to him i get extremely sad and hurt. i never used to be like this so i think something is wrong. i even make up ideas in my head that he is going to break up with me or he doesnt love me anymore. is there a way to stop being this way? what is wrong with me? is there a way to deal with this and stop being so obsessive?”

Ashely (19, Las Vegas, NM)

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Beth Asked:

“I’m in a long distance relationship with my girl for almost 2 years and 3 times she has told to get the home ready she was moving to me. Everytime family members on her side either get sick, go to hospital, or pass away. I have spent so much money and have given so many things away to make room so now all i do is wait. She is caring for her ex and I know about this but he plays on her with the kids is she ever going to leave. She is so unhappy but having problems trying to transfer her job too. What can I do other then wait this out? The one thing now is the phone calls are alot less and I don’t hear from her but she tells me less then 2 weeks ago that I’m the love of her life and that I have her heart. I have tried to send gifts all of the time to her and her kids and support her as much as I can because we live in different towns. her town is not gay friendly at all. Is there anything I can do? she is very close to her family and tries to save the world type of thing. with all of their problems but I feel I’m on the back burner with this. Thanks”

- Beth (54, Kentucky)

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Sarah Asked:

“I have been dating a great guy for a little over 5 months. We are both in our 20’s. He has a very demanding job, and is extremely busy, while I am a college student with a much more flexible schedule. Our sex life has always been great- we have awesome bedroom chemistry, and it has always been an enjoyable, zesty enterprise for us both. However, he decided to stop drinking for a month- he felt like he was doing it too much. He has lost all interest in sex- we haven’t done it in about a month. He says it is because his emotions and thoughts are all changing and becoming clearer because he has stopped drinking. Also, he is on anti-depressants, and I have read that they can decrease libido. He is still very affectionate- we cuddle every night we are together, and hold hands and kiss. I asked him if I had put on weight or anything since we started dating, and he insists that I have nothing to do with his lack of libido. Does this seem plausible? If this is a temporary thing, it is definitely worth it for me to wait it out and be patient and give him time, because he is a great person. I just want to know if the reasons he gave me for this seem legitimate. How long is too long without sex, especially in a new-ish relationship between young people??”

- Sarah (25, Illinois)

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It’s true. A lot of women have a “sexual waiting period” when it comes to a new guy she just met. She doesn’t want to give it up too soon, fearing he might not respect her afterward, or that maybe he’ll LEAVE her once he gets it, etc.

Now, this by ITSELF is nothing new. We ALL know women do this. Heck, you might be a woman reading this NOW who does this. Again, it’s nothing new. However, what IS new, is the information I’m going to share with you in this article. Not only is it TOTALLY DIFFERENT from everything you’ve ever thought BEFORE, but it ALSO raises some brand new QUESTIONS. So read on.

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Remember the old song by THE BEATLES, titled “All You Need Is Love” with verses like, “all you need is love, love, love, love, love is all you need”. Well some things never change because love is all we really do need to keep our relationships going strong.

Relationship experts have written volumes and volumes about the qualities and requirements of a healthy relationship. Books and articles have discussed the importance of sex, intimacy, communication and compromise and how these factors play a vital role in keeping your relationship healthy and strong. All of this is true.

However, the single most important component needed for a healthy, happy and intimate relationship is love.

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Two questions:

• Why do made-for-each-other love bugs butt heads, step on each others toes, and get their wires crossed?
• In a “discussion” with your sweetie, have you ever said something like, “Well, in my book [fill in the blank].”

The answer to the second question is sure you have. The answer to the first question is this:

The “book” you’re referring to is the unique and complex mix of your preferences, opinions, priorities, standards, points of view, and sensitivities, all shaped by your DNA, upbringing, education, life’s experiences, religious or philosophical training, culture, and self-perception. It’s the guide for how you navigate life and it’s the standard by which you determine if others are flying right. In the context of your relationship, I call this your Foreplay Navigator™. We all have one.

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Joanna Asked:

“Congratulations on your very nice website!!

I left my boyfriend for someone else I thought I was in love with. I told my ex to stay away from me but now I miss him. Is it normal? Im ok in my new relationship but I feel that he won’t do as much for me as my ex would! I love my ex and I am feeling confused!”

- Joanna (31)

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Leo Asked:

“hello! I (age 30) broke up with my ex girlfriend (age 30) almost 2 moths ago. we were together for a year. She really loves me and she wanted to marry me. I just wasn’t that warm because of some personal things. When she asked me to break up i agreed but we still had contact. She broke up with me because I was not as warm as she was. I was wrong not to ask her to wait and open up and tell her i’m just not myself now because of some problems. very fast she got involved with a new guy (maybe a rebound?) and made it clear to me it’s over. Anyway, i told her how i feel about her and showed her my love, told her im ok now (she sees that also) and we can be everything we wanted to be. I even showed her the ring I bought her and was planning to give to her. And that was all. I didnt persue her at all. We met a few days ago and spent 5 hours together doing silly things and having fun. We spoke a bit about us but she says she is now somewhere else and the usual that she loves me and all. I encouraged her relationship telling her i want her to be happy. We met again today for an hour and i flirted a tiny little bit with her and she did seem open to it. I can tell she loves me and still is attracted to me. She even tells me I look hansom. She now thinks I am getting into something new and i can tell she is a bit jealous. I love this girl and I am ready to give her what she wants. I just dont know how to act now. We do have fun together a lot but should I keep meeting with her and flirt with her or shall I maybe go no contact for a bit and make her miss “us”? I do make her laugh a lot and that makes me happy! Thanks a lot!”

- Leo (30, Greece)

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Robert Asked:

“My girlfriend and I have a serious relationship together. She thinks I’m cheating on her even though I am not cheating on her. She also have been trying to find ways to track my cell phone or track my text messages. She’s now questioning if I am bi or not. She did all this without talking to me as I found this out. What do I do and why is she doing this? I am not cheating on her, nor am I bi and I have nothing to hide. I love her very much.”

- Robert (30, Lakewood, CO USA)

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By Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil

I recently watched The Marriage Ref which premiered earlier this month. According to Wikipedia.com, the premise of the show involves real life couples who have been having an on-going fight for a long time. A video clip is shown to the three-member celebrity panel, showing both sides of the argument. The panel then discuss the merits of each side of the argument and vote on who they think is right.

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