We’re heading into a season that can bring up a mix of emotions for lots of people. The holidays are pretty “loaded.” Energy flies at this time of year. Everyone is in a hurry, trying to get their shopping done; it’s easy to get stressed out. And amid the hustle and bustle, many people get lonely. It’s darker earlier; it’s getting cold outside. It’s easy to feel left out, isolated, and hopeless, whatever your partnership status.

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Dakota Asked:

“It seems that my girlfriend will make plans with everyone else and not me, and then if her friends ask her to do something and we were planning something she will hang with them instead. It seems like she is forgetting me. What should I do and should i be worried?”

- Dakota

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Do you know the difference?

Making love is the act of having sex that involves a certain level of intimacy and emotion. Raw sex is the act of having wild, passionate, uninhibited, animalistic sex, while not introducing a lot of “heart” emotion or emotions triggered by thought. Raw sex can be really hot. Although once the act of raw sex is over, emotions may sweep in and take you over. If you are in a committed relationship or exclusively dating, having both at different times is a great way to keep your sex life interesting.

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“Men are dogs!” We hear it all of the time. Men should be so lucky to be called such an honorable thing, yet we use the phrase in a derogatory way. We try to hurt men, telling them that they are mean, unkind, un-thoughtful, and un-gracious. Is that what dogs are?

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Regardless of who you’re arguing with, whether friend, partner, family member or co-worker, this so-called crime is committed every day by countless individuals who later regret it. I’m talking about name-calling when you’re in the heat of the moment and you use severe terminology to make your ultimate point.

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Jennie Asked:

“Basically, I think my boyfriend is being really pissy over something I didn’t think was a big deal. We were talking the other day about sports we no longer take part in but used to enjoy and I mentioned that I used to do judo in college and was pretty good, even though I only received a beginner’s yellow belt.

He thought this was hilarious because I’m tall and blond and weigh around 125lbs, and I guess he didn’t think that a pretty girl could fight her way out of a paper bag, much less do a martial art.

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Zena Asked:

“I’ve been married for 3 years and I have 2 kids 1 boy and 1 girl. The past 1 year I have felt like my husband is just not interested in me and he has not made me feel special . He comes from work at 6pm and showers, eats then he goes and hangs out with his friends playing cards. I know 100% he is not cheating on me he still wants to have sex with me, but he does not make me feel like I am special and we don’t have any communications together. Maybe he doesn’t love me anymore? I have thought about leaving him, but I don’t want my children to live with out a father like I did. It’s so hard for me. What do you think I should do?”

- Zena

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Some friends of mine, Bob and Lana, have fallen on hard times in their marriage. They met in church six years ago, got married after a year, and enjoyed a wonderful relationship until last year, when Bob stopped going to church. Lana recently confided in me that Bob’s break with the congregation has “ruined their social life” and put a chill on their marriage.

Here’s what I told her:

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Devastated Asked:

“My wife is cheating on me with her coworker and I found out about it 8 days ago. I am devastated and don”t know what to do. We have a 6 year old boy and a 4 year old girl, and her coworker is also supposed to be our friend. My wife has allowed this to go on since summer and has brought him to our family. My wife is under a lot of stress at work. Her father is terminally ill, and her mother is in detox for Alcohol. She truly is a great woman, and I am in shock as to how my life got to this point. I am lost?”

- Devastated

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When in a relationship, sometimes (god forbid), the fire begins to die. The flames turn to small embers and steamy nights turn into TV show marathons. I can’t tell you how many times my coupled friends come to me for advice about how to spice up their relationships. I say, it’s all in the sex.

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