What a torture that was for 56 years! We finally won the World Series!! There were about a million people attended the parade yesterday in the beautiful city of San Francisco! Too bad I couldn’t go. We finally entered the baseball history book. Now I can’t wait for the next season to begin! Let’s win another World Series Giants!!

GO GIANTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Of this feeling of powerlessness, it is great to know that we carry the power, within us, of how to get it back!

Not everything in life, for us, is going to be black and white.
And just when we feel we get it, something may come into our view and changes our own view of life, seemingly out of nowhere.

We could be feeling confident that things are working out so well, and get a bit side tracked by stress, bringing down our moods.
Or we could be feeling restless, and worried that things just won’t look up; and then we look up and see a new and smiling face, who makes us change our way of thinking.

Our fears can be used for empowering our lives, by looking at them, taking them, and making a point to see what they are telling us, rather than allowing them to tell us how to live our lives.
It is always up to us, if we want to throw in the towel, or hit the ground running, to stand on our stage, in the spotlight, with grace, in this role we have been given.

It is interesting, that once we see what our thoughts are, we can see that many of them, with a little tweaking to the positive shift our lives into a 180, allowing us to feel back on track.
Many of our thoughts, are not even our own, but are resonance of past emotions, or conversations with other.
In life, to get a better view, we just have to call the dogs off, in our minds, and realize that they may just be barking up the wrong tree!

LoVe,
LuCy sMiLeS

In our journey, and in our life as a whole, we definitely focus on getting things done, and getting things right.

We pay attention to detail, where it matters to us, and we do our best to be our best, and to make the best of our time.

With this, as individuals, we have our own set of individual deeds that we follow, based on our beliefs that we have carried with us along our way.

Some of us, depending on how we are accomplishing our goals, may be in a place of reevaluating what we do, how we do it, and whether or not we need to tweak our ways a little.

Of this, it can come down to not so much changing who we are as it is about expanding ourselves, and our mindsets, to go above and beyond what we may feel comfortable doing.

As creatures of habit, we also have a habit of fearing change.

We make decisions as safely as we can, to be sure that we don’t put ourselves in a position that may be something we regret doing.

By doing so, and having a perception that taking an extra step is too extreme, we risk being in a place that is stagnant from growth.

If we believe, in our minds, that we cannot take a chance to do something more than we are, then we will be right.

Whatever our perception is; is our life.

If we can perceive our lives as being abundant, through being rightly deserving of such abundance, mixed with proactive determination to carry this out- perhaps we can throw any negative perceptions out, and bring in all that will serve us for Success!

Or so, I think so.

LoVe,
LuCy sMiLeS

Status Updates- Do your friends need to know every minute of every day about what you are doing?  Do they need to know you are in the backyard, or relaxing, or just got your nails done, or are hungover?  Maybe. Do your friends constantly need to be reminded that you and “the love of your life” just bought a Christmas tree together?  If they are that amazing, how is it you are spending that time updating your status about it?  Although, I do recognize that with the Iphone and Blackberry, it is pretty convenient.  I am fortunate that in between all the silly updates, I gain some amazing knowledge from my “friends”.  And yes, all 272 of my Facebook friends are people I actually know. Ok, except for Kim Kardashian, but it is really a “fans” page. Either way, I am not deleting Kim and would like her for a “real” friend.

Do I want to find out that someone died, had a heart attack, or was in a car wreck through a status update? No, I do not; perhaps an email would be a better communication tool for such traumatic news.

Farmville, Mafia Wars, Petville, etc.- Come on. Really? Is real life not interesting enough without spending hours with these games or whatever they are?  I have never been curious enough to really see what they are but the news feeds filled with these are annoying enough.  Enough said, probably.

Stalking- Fortunately, Facebook has enough privacy options to inhibit your ex or your partner’s ex from being allowed to see too much of what you are doing.  But if you are friends with someone who is friends with your ex there is still some visibility to view their postings or yours.  If you think your ex is stalking you, block them; there is an option for that and then they won’t even know you are on Facebook.  If you are still checking your ex’s profile, just stop; I know it’s tempting, especially if they are not savvy enough to figure out how to operate the privacy options.

Adding and Deleting Friends- The rule of thumb on Facebook (unlike Myspace) is to not add people you do not know in “real life”.  It also applies to friend requests; do not request someone you do not know.  Do not cruise your friends’ friends to find “hotties” or famous people to add or look for someone new to date.  I have a few famous people on my page and I would not be happy if my friends requested them just because they were famous. Although, becoming a “fan” to someone is totally acceptable.

How many times have you added or deleted the same person?  I am guilty of that myself.  You know, you get mad at someone and delete them or log on one day and find that you have been deleted by someone.  Should you be hurt?  No. Remember, it’s Facebook and not real life.

Postings- Anything you post on your wall or your friends wall can be seen by everyone and is there forever or until you delete it.  So if you have been on Facebook for two years and you just acquired a girlfriend who you finally add, she can read and see everything you have been doing for the past two years.  So if you told her you haven’t had a serious relationship and you had a girlfriend posting a year and half ago, she will see it.  Busted by Facebook, be careful, it happens.

Relationships- People have relationships with people on Facebook that they have never met.  They tell each other they love each other and change their relationship status-all without having ever met.  You are “now in a relationship”. You don’t have to list a relationship status on Facebook, but if you do, all of your 300 friends will know when you go from single to “in a relationship” and perhaps, inevitably back to “single”; so be prepared to be bombarded with “OMG, what happened??” and a bunch of sad faced emoticons.

It is one thing to update your Facebook to identify that you are in or out of a relationship but Facebook is not an acceptable way of breaking up with someone and yet it is done all of the time; even in the celebrity world.

Deactivation- Remember, you can not delete your Facebok account. That’s right, you can not delete it.  Although I have heard that if you remove all of your pictures, delete all of your friends, remove all of your postings, and write a letter to Facebook requesting that they delete it, they will.  Your only other option is to deactivate it; which essentially means it is non-active until you log back in again that automatically reactivates the account.  All of your friends will still be there and ask you “where were you?”

Final thoughts- Facebook is a great networking tool.  I enjoy it. It’s a great way to stay in touch and/or reconnect with old friends, but it can be addicting.  You can spend more time having online relationships and less time with real life relationships or real life events.  You spend more time reading updates and newsfeeds than about real world problems. Is Facebooking necessary everyday?  I don’t know but if you spend more time online than socializing in person, you should think about that.  Although I am not a huge fan of Dr. Laura, as she is a gay basher, the letter her son wrote to Facebook is pretty cool: Breaking Up With Facebook.

Now get off your computer or your Smartphone and go interact with the world; volunteer at your local animal shelter, help your neighbor fix their broken fence, take your grandfather out to lunch.  Those things are so much better than Facebooking about anything I can think of.  Although this article will be posted on my Facebook page.

Cheers,

Robbie Lee, author of The Straight Man’s Pocket Guide to Picking Up a Hottie-Written by a Woman Who Loves Women

Check out my web at Robbie411.com

There really is a person for every job.

I spent the first part of my Monday morning happily organizing my business notes, and goals for the new month, excited to get a fresh start to February, and to use whatever lessons I learned last month, to put to good use.

As the rest of my morning proceeded, unfortunately not much of what I was executing had much to do with my passion or the goals I had set out for the month, just hours before.

I didn’t feel so alive in that moment, and felt I needed more, to kick things up a notch.

As I started to get a bit down and drained, losing some of my motivation- I looked up, and it was already time for lunch.

Gladly I made my way home to yummy food, and just in time for a little taste of Oprah TV to boot.

It is so strange how things always come to you right when you need them most.

Low and behold on Oprah today, featured a President of a Waste Management company, who went undercover to learn the various roles of just a select few of the thousands he had employed under him.

Amidst the experience, the major lesson he learned was just how passionate those in the least desirable positions were about their job!
It didn’t matter that one man spent all his working hours literally cleaning what many of us would only lose sleep over; he actually did his job with conviction to get it done, and done right.
Needless to say, coming back to my office after swallowing myself pity, with my salmon, I realized, yet again, that it really never is what we are doing, but always how we are and how we behave, in what we do.

I am very blessed that the role I have made a decision to be in, right now, is one that is so flexible, casual and allows me a chance to learn many things about business, to take into my own business, for growth and Leadership.

And sometimes it takes watching others take lead in their own life, in situations that would otherwise lead you to believe they must be miserable!

“Happiness is an inside job” I remember reading on a shirt years ago…

…sometimes I need to be reminded, too.

LoVe,
LuCy sMiLeS

I wish I had a bigger house.
I wish I didn’t have to work, to make my bills.
I wish I could travel the world.
I wish my hair was longer.
I wish my waist was smaller.
I wish my kids would stop screaming.
I wish my husband/wife/kids/boss/friends/neighbor/cashier/dentist/accountant/dog would be more pleasing.

Ah, our wishes. Our lives have so many days, some of which we are wishing our lives were different, better, happier, and just all around more fulfilling.

Even for those of us, who are so grateful for all that we have- we still, inside, have a wish or two or three of things we are not feeling fulfilled with.

Life, in its wondrous way, has a way of giving us the opportunity to want to grow, and to wish for it, until we take that first step.

But what step do we take to make it a reality, instead of just a wish, wished to come true?

I had an intuitive glimpse, in my own wishing well, that I wish to share with you.

Our wishes for things, is fine, and can definitely be fulfilled, with focus, and motivation to consistently continue to put energy on what we need to do, to flourish our fantasies into reality.

However, we can actually use a lot less energy if we take our wishes, for things, or places or situations, and place them upon simply and lovingly wishing others well.

Our vibrations, whether high or low, will give us just that in return.

If we wish, with true integrity and loving generous intention, to wish for others to be well, and abundant- our vibration of love, (the strongest energy on the Earth), will rise up, making our whole Aura change for all good, and come back to us, with just as much, and more Love, in return.
We can make plans, write up goals, create spreadsheets of systematic actions, and results for what our future can look like, of course.

But, if we lovingly open our hearts and our minds up to sharing our gratitude and compassion out to the World, as well; surrendering to life, as it is, for all it already has to offer- our results can be immeasurable!

I don’t recommend deleting your determination that you have created to manifest all your dreams, but instead, I suggest you take a minute or two to wish others well, as well, along your way.

And, for good measure, I will wish YOU WELL, too!

LoVe,
LuCy sMiLeS

Yesterday, I noticed when rushing to make it to grab my organic coffee, before hitting the office- I only had 2 socks in my sight, and didn’t have time to go searching for their partners. One brown and one white.

I quickly scanned in my mind if I was going to have to take off my boots, at any point throughout the day- before opting to run and buy more at lunch, just in case. I realized there is no part of my day, where I would have to part with my boots, in humiliation for my not so stylish circumstances.

I was clear to move forward.

After work, I reached my girlfriend’s place to grab a ride, to our event for the evening, and realized we would be waiting a while, and could sit and catch up, before our ride came. Hence the taking off of the boots… I warned her, beforehand, that I had two different coloured socks on. Her response?

“I love that you are wearing 2 different colored socks. Who says we have to be a certain way, or wear our socks a certain way?”

I smiled. I knew I would still be following the norm, going forward, at pretty much any cost. But it was cute.

Fast forward to this morning.

I woke up, at a decent hour, and decided it was obviously time to throw in some laundry, while I got ready, so I could prevent my fashion faux pas; in the case I would have to part with my boots, this time, not in the comfort of a good friend, and her home.

As the laundry was stopping, I went to open the door of the washer, seeing that I had only moments to get my things together, to leave, but it said “Door Locked.” It took its time spinning off the water, back… and forth. Then, back and forth, again.

I realized there was nothing I could rush about this. Nothing was going to let me open the door of the washer, until it was good and ready for me to throw my things in the dryer, before rushing out the door.

So I just stopped, and stared… And realized… Time is time.

Whether you try to rush it, fast forward it, or try to take it back.

There is nothing we can do to manipulate the natural occurrence of time. Things will be ready, when they are ready. And when we try to rush things, we are trying to control that which we cannot.

After standing there, and feeling this peace within myself, that everything happens when it is to happen, and sometimes, we must just sit with the natural course of life; it stopped, and the green locked light went off!

I threw my things in the dryer, through on my jacket, and my scarf, grabbed my breakfast, purse, umbrella and phone, and ran out the door.

Needing a coffee, I scurried out the back, down the path, through the tracks, and mud, in my heels, and up the street, and noticed that my Organic tea and coffee place was not opened yet. My hurrying caused me to be to early!

To my detriment, even more, I realized that my running so fast, caused my gorgeous scarf- my ever so favorite scarf- to fall off, at some point in my rushing.

In the pouring rain, I backtracked all the way to the back door of my condo complex, where my beautiful scarf was laying out drenched! I grabbed it up, and threw it over me, realizing it certainly takes a few times, sometimes, to really learn a lesson.

I said “thank you” to the Universe for not losing my scarf, and apologized for being so carelessly in a rush….

And, as I looked up, I noticed my Organic Coffee Shop’s “Closed” sign was turned to “Open.”

I was right on time, after all.
Go figure.

There is an old saying “Hold Your Horses.”
Mom was always right after all.

LoVe,
LuCy sMiLeS

It seems to be in our nature, that we are so good at noticing all the things that aren’t working in our lives.  So much so, in fact, that we almost assume that things are not in as good working order as they can be.

And if we do, in a moment’s notice, realize that something specific IS working out, especially, if working out really great; we assume it is just a matter of time before it, too, stops working.

We have all done it. We have been in a relationship, a job, or some sort of position, and hoped it would just get better than it is, or wondered if it would not be that good, for much longer.

It isn’t that we walk around, wanting to be negative, and pessimistic in our lives.
It is also not that we are naive to what is, or ignorant  to our surroundings.

It is that little voice of fear that creeps up when the noise around us sits still even for a moment, giving us that second to second guess things that we are going through.

Whether good or bad.

We’ve all had times, where we felt we needed to pinch ourselves, because what was in front of us was simply too good to be true, and it would fizzle, eventually, because to us, nothing so good can possibly last.

And we have also had times, where circumstances we were involved in were just so horrendous, there didn’t seem to be any way it could change, let alone for the better.

It is always, in the end, whichever way we choose to look at it.
If we think something or someone is going to fail us, it or they just may.
But if we can change that thought, and be open to knowing that we CAN have as much as we wish, we just have to think it to be true, and very much ok; we may be surprised to find all great things, just around the corner for us, if not already staring us right in the eyes.

That’s MY story and I’m sticking to it!

LoVe,
LuCy sMiLeS

Dictionary.com defines each word as follow:

Resolution- a decision or determination to do something

Revelation- an instance of disclosure of something not before realized

Revolution- a sudden, complete or marked change in something or a drastic and far-reaching change in ways of thinking and behaving.

Resolution- I’m not a fan of New Year’s resolutions personally, but if that’s what it takes to get you to where you need to be, then go for it!!  A lot of people make such resolutions based on bad habits, such as drinking or smoking, or to lose weight or start working out.  How about a resolution to be kinder to yourself, you know, not to be so hard on yourself, or to begin a self-reflection period, so that you can heal your emotion core?  Your ability to love and be loved stems from experiences that occurred when you were a child.  So if you are having difficulty forming intimate, lasting relationships, committing to self work would make a fabulous resolution.

If you are currently in a relationship and feel compelled to make a resolution that involves your partner, it may be more beneficial to you if you just focus on you and your needs.  I realize some people make their partner their “whole world”, especially if it’s new relationship; you know, you don’t do things with your friends anymore, your emails being to pile up, you neglect your animals a little more, you don’t call your parents as often, you stop volunteering or going to your exercise classes, etc.  You could be setting yourself up for a bad situation.  Sure, you and your partner say “we’ll make it through anything or we’ll be together forever”, but you know there are no guarantees.  If you put all of your eggs in one basket, you may end up with a big bowl of scrambled mush one day.  So if you chose to implement a New Year’s resolution, make it about you and whatever YOU need.

Revelation- Perhaps you feel like there is something you need to do; that there is something or you have a “knowing” that something isn’t right.  You feel it deep inside.  Not in your head, mind you, but in your gut, in your soul. It is no easy task to figure out what that “something” is.  I have personally experienced this; most often it has been rather large “somethings”.   Through deep thought and examination at my life with such deep seeded feelings or the “knowing” feeling that I should be doing something else, I have relocated across country several times and changed jobs, effortlessly.  It has come down to the actual “revelation”; the instant disclosure of it that I didn’t know before.  It’s a magnificent experience.  It’s like a light bulb going off in your head and a weight being lifted off of your chest or a knot leaving your stomach.  If you are having such feelings, you need to find away to figure out what it is you should be doing.  You may try looking at various aspects of your life to at least narrow it down; career, relationship, friendships, family, living situation, etc.  It takes work-trust me.  It takes sitting quietly and looking at what is or isn’t working in your life.  Once you find a process to get to the “revelation”, when you have such feelings in the future, it becomes easier to achieve the “ah hah” or the “gestalt”, referring to concept of  ‘wholeness.

Revolution- This is probably the most powerful of the three possibilities to accomplish.  A complete change in how you behave, think, or change!  How intense it feels!!  To experience a revolution within your life, think about something that you know you have wanted to do, wanted to become, or something you’ve wanted to change in your life.  Do you want to change your life, your career, leave a dead relationship?  Do you want to become a doctor, a tree cutter, a teacher, or an artist?  Do you want to move to another city or another country?  Think about how you want to spend the rest of the remaining years of your life; no matter if you are in your 20’s, 30’s, 40’s or 50 plus!!!! You only have one life and remember this very moment, this very second, is your life.  So don’t waste another second of it and start your revolution!!!

Final thoughts- Whether you are in a long term relationship, newly coupled, or single, figuring out what you need for yourself, will make you a better you and thereby default a make you a better partner. And that combination, my lovely readers, will make you have a better relationship; how can you not help but be happy!!

And if you ask why should I take the advice from the author of The Straight Man’s Pocket Guide to Picking Up a Hottie-Written by a Woman Who Loves Women, my response is “because I am living life and I have had both revelations and revolutions that were life changing”.

Cheers,

Robbie Lee, author of The Straight Man’s Pocket Guide to Picking Up a Hottie-Written by a Woman Who Loves Women

Be sure and sign up for my mailing list at Robbie411.com

It’s pretty sobering to read statistics showing that only 40% of people who set resolutions actually reach their targets.  It seems that if you want to get to your destination, you’d better have a really good plan for getting there!  Sitting down and making resolutions is a useful ritual in itself, a way for us to assess and temporarily deal with the things in our lifestyles that we want to change.  But if you want to see those changes actually manifest, it helps to be armed with some useful tips!

1.  Learn from last year.  Think about what happened the last time you set resolutions.  How did that work out?  If you didn’t quite get there, think about why.  Knowing what you did right or wrong last time can be key in figuring out what techniques to try next.

2.  Make sure the fire is hot.  The more you want something, the more likely you are to do whatever it takes to get it.  If you choose a lot of resolutions that you’re not really committed to, it will most likely show in your effort level.  If you really want something, then you’ll feel that fire when you think about succeeding.

3.  Visible reminders are important.  Make a list, and post it somewhere.  Tape notes in strategic places.  Anything you can do to remind yourself what you’re aiming for will help.  You can even set alarms on your phone!

4.  Tell the world!  No one is an island, and this is a great opportunity to share your goals with your closest friends.  Having a support network is important if you want to succeed, so now’s a great time to get together with people and make your intentions known.  Your friends can also double as cheerleaders!

5.  Set up checkpoints.  Designate some dates, maybe every three months, or even every month, to check in with yourself and see how things are going.  Assess, adjust if necessary, and give yourself a pat on the back.

6.  Get back on track.  If your checkpoint assessment got you feeling down, remind yourself that none of us is perfect, and perfection was never your goal!  This is an exercise in directing yourself toward better habits, and the process is rarely linear. Don’t be angry with yourself – negative self-talk leads to low mood, which leads to self-loathing… don’t even start down that road.

7.  Set up a reward system.  Having something to aim for will really help keep you energized about your goals.  Sure, reaching the goal is a reward in itself, but enjoying all the benefits is even sweeter.  Wouldn’t it be great to plan a hiking trip with the family to celebrate your new higher level of fitness?

If you’ve been wondering about how I did with my own resolutions in 2009, well, I think it’s gone really positively.  I have been less judgmental, and I’ve been doing my best to be more laid back and not take things so seriously.  At this very moment, I’m sitting in Carmel Valley with my husband and our dog, and we’re enjoying a beautiful view of the ocean.  So now we’re going to head out for a long walk to reward ourselves for all our good work in 2009.

In the San Francisco Bay Area? Make plans to attend Maryanne’s free self-defense classes which teach participants how to protect themselves emotionally AND physically. More information here.