He Asked:

“My marriage of 7 years has fallen apart. We fought over and over with no resolve due to communication issues. I ended up pushing her away, and telling her I wanted a divorce over and over. We ended up getting an attorney and pretty much had one foot in the door. All we had to do is pay the $. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks, I didn’t want the divorce. I asked her to go to marriage counseling with me. She refused, said she had been going to individual counsleing, and had gotten to a place where she had moved on. I am devistated. I want her back, I have tried talking to her over and over again, but she says she loves me, but isn’t in love with me anymore. She says she wants to get the divorce, be good friends, and then “let’s see what happens”. I don’t know what to do. I want to be friends with her because she is the love of my life and I care so much about her, but I find it extremely difficult to turn off my feelings when I am around her. All I think about is touching her, and being intimate. She obviously rejects any of that. It’s so painful.”

- He (42, Denver, CO)

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Terry Asked:

“My wife of 9 years and 3 children announced she is gay. In addition, shortly thereafter she had a meltdown and we found out she is severly bipolar. When she says she doesn’t want sex anymore but she still loves me, I’m her best friend and she still wants to remain married but no sex. she still want to kiss, snuggle, sleep in same bed, etc…. I feel we are disconnected now, no intimacy, a wedge between us. ‘we had issues in our marriage but nothing I thought we couldn’t work on for improvement. What does it mean to be gay. I’m having trouble with this. I’m not blaming her but she is setting conditions wihtout my input. Don’t I matter too? I don’t know how much is bipolar how much is gay. I’m very confused by all of this. If she isn’t wanting me sexually, does she really care about me and love me? I feel it means our relations has taken several steps back and we are not connected as we should be-we’re not giving ourselves fully and completely physically and emotionally. Any thoughts or suggestions?”

- Terry (43, Vienna)

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Gina Asked:

“In 2006 I met a guy called Rich he had a brother (Mario) that lived next to me and I thought he was cute. I told rich i know you brother he lives around my home. eventually I met (mario) he had a girl. but we slept together anyways. I was on the rebound at the time. after that time it never happen again. now 2010 I meet Rich for the 1st time. it was a connection we felt it. but i know is wrong to want to date the brother now, I think it would not be right morally, we start getting to know each other. Rich knows what happen between me and his brother and at 1st I’m sure he wanted to just sleep with me till he got to know me. So about a few weeks ago we hit it off we took it there. we were intimate it was great, wonderful etc. I really like him he said that with his brother situation in the middle things would be difficult but he knew this from the beginning but got intimate anyways. after that happen we have been in contact by phone only but have not seen each other. He told me would i deal with him if the tables were turn. I said I didn’t know. Someone told me in order for that to work between Rich & you he has to ask the Brother Mario for his OK. b/c that will always haunt him the fact that you and his brother were intimate even if it was only one time. I want to know why would he keep contact with me even after what happen between us everyday he says Good morning to me. I like him a lot but I am confused. and i know this is not right but, why continue to give hope to something that might never be. Can he just be trying to be nice about it even though he looks like a jerk anyway.”

- Gina (35, Bronx, NY)

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So the intimacy of the relationship has faded, and once your hormones settled you realized your partner is not really what you want. Maybe they have some annoying habits you didn’t realize at first, or maybe you desire more in common than just the bedroom escapades that were originally the foundation of your relationship. Or have you been in a long term relationship and it has finally run its course? Either way, for some reason you really cared about this person, and although it’s over you still agree to be friends….

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It’s no secret that men and women are very different when it comes to sex and what it takes to become aroused. Women often need to feel an emotional connection, or at least a sense of romance before they are interested in pursuing physical intimacy with a man. Then there is the cuddling, kissing, and tickling of foreplay to get things “warmed up.”

For a guy it is more like a light switch, you just give them a bit of attention and they are ready to go. Often times a man doesn’t really care for the foreplay, and in a marriage it can even become aggravating if he always has to put a lot of effort into something he could take care of himself in a few minutes. Yes, by take care of it, I mean masturbation,which is completely healthy until it is replacing sex in your marriage.

When one partner is no longer being satisfied, it begins a very dangerous spiral. If a man is not being satisfied physically, he will not feel obligated to satisfy his partner. When neither partner is being satisfied, it inevitably causes wandering eyes in a search for someone new who can provide this pleasure.

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Spring is a time for renewal. So why not renew our relationship as we leave the cold winter behind us? There are many fantastic ways to spark romance and intimacy in your relationship; below I have revealed 4 of my favorite ones. They are simple, inexpensive and virtually guaranteed to bring back that lovin’ feeling – whether it is gone, gone, gone, hanging by a thread, or desperate for a fresh breath of creativity or new life!

1. Romantic Date Idea – If you’ve been dating or married for a while, having a romantic date night is sure to bring back the spark. Send the kids to a friend’s house for a sleepover or spend the night at a hotel (my personal favorite, wink). “Hotel dates” are romantic because they seem to add an element of seduction. Whether at home or in a hotel, kick it up a notch and play some games like role-playing or pretending you are strangers. Be creative – this is fun – believe me!

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Eat your broccoli. It’s good for you.

Take your cod liver oil. It’s good for you.

Exercise daily. It’s good for you.

Have sex. It’s good for you.

Huh? Broccoli, cod liver oil, exercise and sex are all in the same do-it-cuz-it’s-good-for-you category. Don’t you think that argument (and we’ve heard a lot of it lately) makes having sex sound like something you do while holding your nose?  Something you have to do because it’s good for you? Imagine saying to your sweetheart, “Okay, had my daily dose of veggies, went for a run, took my vitamins and fish oil, so how ‘bout it, babe, ready for a roll in the day?” Yeah, that’ll stoke the fires. Not.

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We love our partner and we are committed to our relationship with them. Deep down in our heart and soul we know we truly want to be in love with them forever. In spite of this yearning to be close to the one we love, there are some common mistakes we make – sometimes on a daily basis – that prevents our dream relationship from coming true. Below are three common intimacy mistakes you must stop now to keep the flames alive in your relationship.

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Birthdays are a time for the celebration of life! Our birth is the celebration of the love our parents once shared with each other (regardless of how it played out). So for me, birthdays are all about giving; so my gift for you this week is a gift that is sure to keep on giving.

Today, I would like to give you the gift of gratitude. Gratitude is the ability to be grateful for all that we have in our lives. I am incredibly grateful to all the people with whom I share my life: my family, my friends and my loyal readers who know they can look to my articles for effective ways to increase the love and beauty of their romantic relationship.

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Do you sometimes wonder what happened to that randy, can’t-get-enough couple you used to be? You know, before the fatigue of everyday life set in and before the kids arrived. Back when you could have the week from hell and still strap on your dancing’ shoes and, after a great night out, have energy for sex. If you just sighed nostalgically, I get it. I understand how easy it is to let the demands of everyday life take precedence over romance. I know how easy it is to find yourselves, on what used to be date night, in sweats, watching a Netflix, eating delivery pizza, and drifting off before the end of the movie. Been there. Done that.

Every relationship guru on the planet, including me, recommends that you schedule regular date nights and times for sex. You have to make your relationship a priority or one day you’ll wake up to find it gone. That doesn’t mean you can ignore your relationship the rest of the time. In fact, with just a little imagination you can turn everyday events, such as a trip to the grocery store, into acts of emotional foreplay that enhance intimacy–in and out of the bedroom. How? Let’s take a look.

Grocery shopping is one of those chores you can’t get around. Ya gotta eat!  The trick is getting it done AND using the opportunity to engage in emotional foreplay. Emotional foreplay is doing those things that make your sweetheart feel high-on-a-pedestal adored, always-number-one special, you-deserve-the-best nurtured, and can’t-live-without-you cherished. So here are some ideas for you:

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