“Men are dogs!” We hear it all of the time. Men should be so lucky to be called such an honorable thing, yet we use the phrase in a derogatory way. We try to hurt men, telling them that they are mean, unkind, un-thoughtful, and un-gracious. Is that what dogs are?

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As you may or may not know, I am still dating. The first date is rarely followed by a second date, simply because I see too many flags that I know will lead to problems down the road. Instead of giving a list of things to look for, I thought it would be better to recount a recent date.

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We’ve all had them. Everything was going so well and then . . . . We ran out of gas, as happened to a high school classmate of mine when he finally got a date with his crush (homecoming night or prom night, don’t remember which). The cat runs out the door while we’re saying good night, or his cat gets between us when we’re sitting on the couch ready to kiss. (Both happened to me.) The car battery dies, we get pulled over for speeding, our credit card gets declined after a very nice, expensive dinner, we find out we forgot to close our fly, a pre-date waxing goes completely wrong.

Here are some more horror stories shared by my brave and generous friends.

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The song, “Business Time,” from the HBO show Flight of the Conchords is one of the funniest representations of coupled sexual communication around. She says, “I’m going upstairs to bed because I have work in the morning,” which he interprets as, “Come up and make love” because, well, it’s Wednesday, and they always have sex on Wednesdays.

The song isn’t too far off from the way many real couples communicate, or rather, think they communicate. As playwright George Bernard Shaw once said, “The single biggest problem with communication is the illusion that it has taken place.”

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Whilst in the midst of a late night web surfing session the other night, I stumbled across a great relationship-related-humor article at www.keithgoodrum.com.  Although I hope you will all view this with a sense of humor and get a good chuckle out of it, nonetheless, subtle truths are contained within.

INSTALLING A HUSBAND

Dear Tech support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0

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