Shannon Asked:

“i have this friend. well guy ive been talking to since april of 2011. i am currently confused as to where i stand with him. its hard to get him to express himself but he always wants me to express my feelings and i dont think its fair. before we officially started talking he had been chasing after me for a couple months. i told him i want a relationship and if it isnt what he’s looking for then i dont want to be bothered with you. he says i do want a relationship and i would like to get to know you better. so we start spending alot of time together and talking all the time. a few months past now we’re in october and he’s starting to act different i stop seeing him as much and talking to him as often. i began to worry. i began to think he’s talking to someone else because he does have alot of female friends. so i tell him that he needs to tell me where i stand with you. well he doesnt give me an answer so i say well im not going to keep tagging along. you either tell me where i stand with you or thats it…so i dont talk to him for a few days maybe up until a week. he texts and tells me to stop acting mean, 0__o so we start talking and hanging out again. than it happens again i ask him does he talk to anyone else he tells me no.. well i found out that he did and i told him that it was over for him an i because he lied. he tells me well if you dont trust me than leave. so i say ok… i dont talk to him for another week or so.. he calls and says talk to me im sorry. i ended it with the girl. so i said ok…. and come to find out he really did end it with the girl i saw that myself…. but he’s doing it again becoming distant not tlking constantly.. lets fast forward a couple months its now february…i hadnt talk to him for maybe a couple weeks or so.. well i see him the night before valentines day and we spend the evening together.. well the next day which is valentines day he surprised me with a vday gift.. than the next weekend we go out.. now hes acting distant again.. this is drving me crazy. i dont know what he wants he doesnt tell me how he feel. he knows how i feel because i always tell him but he doesnt tell me anything. i dont know where i stand with him. i really need help.”

- Shannon (20, Baltimore, MD)

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Gail Asked:

“My girlfriend told me during an argument that she believes someone could abuse me and I would never leave them. I asked her why she would even mention that and if she uses that belief to her advantage. Of course she said no, but I find that doubtful. Anyway lately she is very frustrated about balancing her time between friends, family, relationship, and child. She seems to be angry at me when I want to spend quality time with her. I feel as if I am giving this relationship 100%. I’m trying to be understanding and supportive, but she seems to take me for granted. I am backing off and giving her space and I’m taking this time to reevaluate. I feel like she is seeing me as the enemy and just another person wanting her time. Am I wasting mine by remaining in the relationship? It’s beginning to feel one sided.”

- Gail (32, F, Atlanta)

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Swathi Asked:

“my husband is always complaining how i restrict his freedom always when i feel its the other way around and now most of the time we fight.i hardly call him unless emergency but he still complains i couldnt control my urge to check more than 45 mins which sometimes i couldnt help due to situations. our marriage is almost sexless after the birth of our son and the fights are making it worse. he will never even listen to what i have to say and so i dont think will listen if i tell him we need help. but i desperately want to fix our marriage as we were very good friends before. please help.”

- Swathi (31, Bangalore, India)

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David Asked:

“I and my girlfriend love each other and we feel unhappy without each other. But she has a lot of friends which i feel is affecting our relationship. she has spoken to her parents about our marriage and her friends are pressurizing her to marry someone else. but she doesnt want to. and because of that like before she doesnt replies to my texts on time and doesnt answers for my missed calls. and i am not happy about it all. she is changing because of what her friends are saying. should i give her some space of her own ??? should i discuss something with her ?? what should i do ?? i also want her to be happy and i love her. and when i ask her to leave her to choose her friends rather than me she cant even do that . she is a way to many friends everywhere.”

- David (24, Pune)

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Kelsie Asked:

“My friends are as baffled as I am, maybe someone has been in a similar situation and can help me!

My ex and I were together 3 years before we broke up. We fought often, but always made up and the good always outweighed the bad. We were very open with each other, very honest, and very goofy. Once we broke up, he dated another girl and once they didn’t work out he and I tried to give it another shot, until I got too attached and he began dating another girl. After that I decided to cut him out, but one day about 2 weeks later we got back in contact, and he ended up breaking up with his girlfriend to try to work things out with me. That continued for about a month until I met another guy and began dating him. My ex got upset and we only talked about once a month for 3 months. I ended my relationship and began talking to him again, only to find out he was involved with another girl, (who people have continuously said looks like she could be my sister) but said it wasn’t serious. I took this time to think about our relationship and if I wanted to try again with him. He said he didn’t know if he wanted to be with this new girl and I took this as a signal to try to go after him. However, next thing I know they are a couple and very much “happy”. She goes to school down in Pennsylvania (I’m from Vermont) and so he and I began spending a lot of time together. He revealed that most of her friends hated him due to things he had done in the past, which made it difficult. About a month into their relationship he and I ended up having sex (which I feel awful about) and he said he missed me. The next week though, he told me he loved this new girl and thinks she is the one. So I began dating a new man and my ex and I drifted apart for about a month. He continues to take the train down to visit his girlfriend as much as possible. About a week ago, he and I got into an explosive fight, he was drunk and I was fighting with my boyfriend, but it ended with a phone call that has left me very confused. During this call, he told me he loved me (but the immediately realized this and exclaimed “as a friend, you’re my best friend”) that he thinks I can do better than my boyfriend (and I then said the same about his girlfriend) that he misses me, that he wants to see me be in a happy relationship, and that his life is so confusing right now, that if his girlfriend saw the “real him” she wouldn’t like it, but that he is happy with her. He also said he wants to keep me in his life forever and that it would be impossible to cut each other out. I have met his girlfriend before they started dating and have some mutual friends, and from what I know she is a very sweet girl. However, he is not sweet or nice, he laughs the hardest at crude things, swears like a sailor, and is extremely aggressive. I haven’t spoken to him since, but he has posted some pictures of him and his girlfriend on facebook.

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TrustingHeart Asked:

“Ok my fiancee and I have been together 3 yrs.  Im divorced because of domestic violence, I have been through many traumatic experiences throughout my life..I have adhd, ocd and ptsd and Im hypothyroid.
It took my fiancee a while for me to trust him. He comes from a marriage where he was cheated on…he got separated and met someone else. He feels guilty about not being able to be physically there for his kids like he would like…that is our background. Now, we recently had a daughter and 1 1/2 months after giving birth I found out he had been looking at personal ads on craigslist…I forgave him since he admitted its an addiction and he told me I could go through his email and phone whenever I wanted.

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John Asked:

Anyone with a msw online degree may be able to help answer this question.

“I have found myself unable to stop making abusive comments to my girlfriend, I used to think that she was being over sensitive and it was only my way of being playful. However on reflection I do not think this was relevant because essentially I do not want to hurt her.  Also I used to think that I was seeking her approval by trying to make her laugh but this does not make sense and now I feel that I am a bully because I could not stop myself from belittling her, ultimately like an addiction. I have parted with my girlfriend to reflect and figure out what I need to do to change my behaviour, that because being a recovered alcoholic I firmly believe is possible.”

- John (33, Flagstaff, Arizona, USA)

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Lauren Asked:

“we been talking for a year. Things were complicated because it seemed as if he had a issue moving foward with me. He claimed he really liked me and didn’t want to be friends 0. Never has he made an effort to spend time with me. I talked to him about it and now he claims he doesn’t want me to move on,but needs sometime to think. He says attracted to the person I am.he agres to finish our convo when he calls back but then I don’t hear from him in a month. He recently calls I ignore then call back a day later and its been a week and hasn’t called back.”

- Lauren (22, Dallas)

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Alicia Asked:

“My boyfriend watches ALOT of porn, which doesn’t bother me at all. My problem is that he is somewhat inexperienced and seems to think real sex should be like it is in porn movies…multiple and uncomfortable positions, lasting for hours, etc. How do I tell him that I don’t like this without damaging his ego? I’ve tried using guidance in the bedroom but he just goes back to what he thinks is good.”

- Alicia (31)

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Sophie Asked:

“i met an older guy (11 years older, i’m 20) at work 3 months ago and developed feelings for him, and he acted like he felt the same. i caught him staring/smiling at me, he was touchy feely, always coming to see/talk to me etc, but since i left a month ago, he’s not spoken to me an awful lot and i haven’t seen him. i told him i like him 5 days ago and he hasn’t responded. i don’t mind either way but the fact that he’s ignoring me is really bothering me, what should i do?”

- Sophie (20)

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