Gift giving can be treacherous ground but you’ll have far greater success if, before you whip out your credit card, you ask yourself these questions:

Does your sweetheart prefer things or experiences? I could surprise my sweetheart with a Porsche and he’d say, “Why? I already have a car.”  Never mind that his car is old and boring—it runs and that’s enough for him. He would, however, be ecstatic with tickets for an African safari. My guy isn’t about stuff. But he’ll jump at the chance to take in the opera, sky dive, white water raft, see a mountain for the first time, experience a new restaurant, climb a glacier, or float in a hot air balloon. Some people prefer things they can touch and see long after the gift was received; others prefer memories.

Is your sweetheart sentimental (and romantic) or practical (and not so romantic)? I have a girlfriend who thinks flowers are a waste of money and is tickled pink with a new toaster oven. My uncle thinks the latest and greatest screwdriver is the coolest gift ever. Others would be crushed to receive a toaster oven or a screwdriver no matter how needed or state-of-the art it may be.

What’s your sweetheart’s special interests? My friend Larry loves everything trains. I love photography. My sweetheart is a classical musician and history buff. My daughter is a volleyball fanatic. I have a friend who has knitting needles in her hands 90% of her waking hours; her husband is into extreme sports. Just about everybody has something they’re especially interested in or enjoy doing.

What’s the occasion? Is it an “us” occasion such as an anniversary? Just because? A red letter day for your sweetheart? Regardless, every gift should be relevant and proportionate to the occasion (but always within your budget). Here are some examples:

• It’s your girlfriend’s birthday. She prefers experiences. She’s sentimental.  Plan an experience that will have sentimental value that, if possible, incorporates her interests: a trip to her hometown to see family she’s missing and have a family portrait made…tickets to the opera, and a corsage she can press and save…dinner with friends where she can show off the birthstone ring you slip on her finger as you’re walking out the door. If it’s a decade birthday, step it up and go the extra mile to make it an event she will remember and cherish forever.
• Your husband hit a career milestone. He prefers things, is practical, and enjoys modern art. Memorialize the event in a tangible way: have a congratulatory ad published in the local newspaper and have it framed…select a piece of art for his office and attach a congratulatory note on the back…buy him a new suit and take him to the newest exhibit at the local art museum. If it’s a really BIG milestone, make it the Musée d’Orsay in Paris!
• It’s the anniversary of your wedding, first date, or other special day. The best “us” gift is something you will both enjoy doing and/or having. If you have different preferences, you’ll need to be a little more creative. For example, you might select a martini shaker, glasses and a book of martini recipes. There’s something tangible for the “thing” person and for the “experience” person there’s the fun of working your way from Apple Martini to Wasabi Martini or, perhaps, a martini party with good friends. Again, if this is a significant anniversary, step it up and make it truly memorable.
• You feel like doing something special for your sweetie. By now you’ve got the drill. All I’ll say about “just because” gifts is that small is often the best, just a simple reminder that you’re thinking about the one you love.

Bottom line: the perfect gift shows you gave it more than passing thought because it reflects who and what your sweetie is.

Your anniversary is approaching and you have no idea what to get for your significant other. You look for hints of things that they have mentioned but still the time is creeping closer and you haven’t found a thing. There are always items that a man or woman need but I find it much more pleasing to take the other approach and find something they have been wanting, something that is not a necessity, but something that will bring an endless smile to their face. Most men always opt for the jewelry approach, and mind you I am not saying that jewelry is not a great gift, I am saying that there are many other items that a man can do to show their affection on such a great day. There are some out there who at this moment cannot fit into their budgets for a new ring or necklace and with this in mind you have the opportunity to show some real interest in what you are choosing, and trust me guys women like to know you thought about the gift.

While some can sit and think over and over about what they can purchase, then there are those who actually ask “what do you want” (and man that’s opening a can of worms, sometimes) but the main important thing one needs to remember is “its not the gift it’s the intent” that should be appreciated. Now depending on your situation, money, children, work and so on, one should consider the gift to be enjoyable, if you are celebrating a date such as “how long we’ve been dating” as opposed to a marriage anniversary and or living together, I would suggest a night out together, romance and fun. The latter of the two situations I would suggest a weekend away, romance, fun, or send the kids to grandparents and have a picnic on your bed. Now there are many suggestions for both male and female for instance, a maid service for a month, lawn service for a month, day spa, massage, the point is use your mind, if money is the issue then do something at home, it doesn’t have to be elaborate it just has to be memorable.

In showing your love for someone does not mean breaking the bank, for those who have been together for a while they will greatly appreciate all the little things done together. Make your day as special as the day you took the big step.