No one ever said relationships were easy. Some work, but inevitably, most fail. They fail for different reasons, but it really boils down to not meeting each other’s needs.

Every now and again, you think past to that one love, that person that you wish you could do it all over with. You think about this person until you find the one that can satisfy this void in your heart. You reminisce about all the good times you shared, and think about what you could have done differently during those bad times.

Many stories are similar in nature, although still quite unique. If hindsight is 20-20, then maybe some of us are blind the first time, or second. Sometimes when you are given that second or third chance to make it right, you blow it. You blow it not because you didn’t try, but because you didn’t do. What makes it tough is when you don’t know what it is you were supposed to be doing.

You are not alone in thinking that you give your partner everything. But the truth of the matter is if this discussion ever comes up for you to defend, then you are probably giving them everything except for what they need.

Relationships truly are about satisfying each other’s needs, but it’s important to understand what your partner’s needs are. Relationships can never be about you. They must be about the person you are with. When you can satisfy the needs of your partner, you will have all of the joy and happiness you can handle.

So where do relationships go wrong? Why are you sitting here today, searching for answers of what you can do to make things better? You didn’t give your partner what they wanted. Not all relationships are meant to last. Some of them you chalk up to a learning experience.

These are the tough one’s, though, when you truly love the person who doesn’t want to be with you any longer. It happens to the best of people. You just didn’t know what you were supposed to do. We are a different species, for crying out loud. How are you supposed to know everything your partner wants?

Communication. That’s how. Communicating is very easy to do, and it starts with listening.

I’ll share a story of someone that I let get away, someone that has changed me dramatically, someone that I wonder what life would be like if I were with her today.

She had given me multiple chances, and I just never got it. Through my studies in making successful relationships, I had my Ah-Hah moment, and began to fully understand the things I did that changed her feelings toward me.

I was one of those that thought I was giving her everything. In reality, I gave her nothing. When we had to have “one of those talks”, I was the type of guy that ran. I didn’t want the confrontation, and I didn’t want the blame for all that was wrong. I now realize that all she wanted was her man to stand there, and be the rock of support that she desperately needed.

She did not want solutions. Men often try to give solutions to any question or problem that arises. She wanted support, the feeling of certainty, that I was always going to be there for her. When I ran, she wasn’t able to trust me. How could she trust someone that wouldn’t be there for her during the tough times.

She wanted excitement. I began to stop giving her the excitement she needed. I settled into a routine of work, work, rest. She became bored with me, and for good reason. When she wanted to go out, I would come up with excuses of why we couldn’t. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to go out, it was that I was content with spending the evening at home with her. It wasn’t enough. We needed that time out, the dates, to grow our relationship.

Growth is one of the most important aspects of a relationship. If you’re not growing, you’re dying. You need to be learning new things about each other, share new experiences together, and move forward in all you do. Set goals, and work toward achieving them.

We lost the connection we once had. I barried myself in my work, and let go of what we had. I took for granted that she would always be there. Now, I’m left with what could have been.

We can’t always get back what we lost. Relationships aren’t easy. They take work, and they are ever evolving. Grow with your mate. Be there for them, make them feel significant, support them, love them, and you will find an everlasting joy in your relationship.

For more relationship advice, make sure you check the blog at Relationship Solutions. While you are there, or here at LoveDetour, make sure you leave a comment and let everyone know what you think of the article. Your advice and opinions are critical to help you and the other members who read the advice columns.

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About The Expert

On our About the Expert page, you can learn more about the author, including contact information and other posts they've written. About Brandon Grittini.