Ah, the bliss of falling in love! Nothing compares to the early days of being with your beloved. You seem to be able to read each other’s mind; you never tire of each other’s company; you even find his or her flaws and idiosyncrasies utterly adorable. When you’re in the throes of this emotional high, it’s hard to imagine it ever coming to an end. And when it does—and it always does—you’re confused and sad. You want nothing more than to recapture that feeling, but . . . it’s best to come back down to earth.
This blissful state of new love is a re-creation of the symbiotic relationship we had as infants with our primary caregiver, usually our mother. When the honeymoon ends, couples often attempt to keep up some sort of reciprocal relationship wherein one partner takes responsibility for the happiness of the other. Complication and drama become a substitute for intimacy and the relationship transforms into a symbiotic blob in which closeness exists only when someone is in crisis.
