Lets be honest. A restaurant really is not the ideal place to have a first date. The anxiety of choosing the right restaurant, “will he judge me if I order a salad?”, dropping a spicy meatball on your chinos, “I hate this dish, should I complain?”, and the elephant at the table when the check arrives. But despite all of this, people continue to go “food on first”. Despite its potential for awkwardness, the restaurant is a fine filter for seeing if your date has what it takes to make it to the second date, which may also be at a restaurant.

In addition to my social service work, I’ve spent the past 4-5 years waiting tables. Through the many patrons I’ve had the pleasure of serving, there have been a lion’s share of first dates. They are easy to spot: take forever to decide what to eat, both individuals are often slightly overdressed, and the conversation tends to fly around the room like a bouncy ball. I’ve seen many couples conversing until the waitstaff threatens to put the chairs up on the tables, and I’ve seen many couples awkwardly fumbling to make the evening pass by quickly after the appetizer course.

Here are a few tips from the waiter’s perspective to help you slide on through to dessert.

-Do make a point to find out your date’s food preferences before choosing a restaurant. A vegan at a Lonestar Steakhouse is not a recipe for success.

-Inform your date of where you are going. No surprises on the first date.

-Do not attempt to go anywhere too classy or expensive unless you know what you are doing and that your date will be ok with it. If your date suggests a place with 20 dollar appetizers and 40 dollar entrees, start updating your lovedetour.com personal ad.

-If you do go someplace classy and expensive, do inform your date of how “dressy” it is so he doesn’t wear sweat pants to a blazer-only supper club.

-Do not wear sweat pants on a first date.

-No chain restaurants, the food can be pretty bad and the idea lacks originality. You’ll have plenty of time to eat at TGIFriday’s when you start having kids.

-Go somewhere you have eaten before. That way, at least one person will feel more comfortable in a familiar place, and your date will have the temporary illusion that you are a restaurant expert.

-If you don’t know of any good restaurants, ask around. Everyone has an opinion. Try searching your local newspaper’s “Best of” restaurant reviews.

-I shouldn’t even have to write this, but no buffet.

-Go full service (where someone like me serves you). None of this “take a number, point at the deli window, and awkwardly mill around to find a table” stuff.

-Avoid places where the action of eating is complicated (i.e. oysters, lobster, chopsticks, 15 fork and 16 spoon table settings).

-It is good to cheat; take a look at the menu online before the date so you can have a rough idea of what to expect, and what dishes you might like.

-If you know your date somewhat well, go ahead and offer to pick them up. If he or she is a relative stranger aside from that 30 minute conversation at the bar, expect to meet them at the restaurant.

Stay tuned for Part Two: At the Table