I am going to assume that the girl has come back to your place. If that is not the case, the steps needed to make the first move will still apply. If she does come into the house, you can give her a quick tour. I like to keep something interesting in the house. A weird book, a funny TV show, something cool and unique. If you play an instrument, than that is a bonus. Women love hearing guys play an instrument. Show them anything that is a conversation piece. Of course, all of this is to take it to the next step. If you are lucky, and do everything right, you won’t have to do any of this and you will be all over each other walking into the house.

Like I said, I don’t go out with a girl on the first date looking to hook up. I think you can get too caught up in that. I believe in sexual tension and making her wonder why you haven’t made a move yet. I have waited a few dates to make moves. The girl was going nuts wondering why I hadn’t done anything yet. She thought something was wrong with her. Each date and each girl is different. As you practice more and go on more dates, you will start becoming more intuitive with women and you will know when and how you can make your first move.

A first move can often times feel uncomfortable to guys. It did to me, and quite frankly, it still can from time to time. We are afraid of rejection as men. We see it as some sort of knife to the heart of our male ego. You need to drop that.

Girls want us to make the move. They are waiting for us to make the move. To them, it is our job. Now, the great thing about making the first move is that you can do little things, get them worked up, and they will end up making the first sexual move, which will most likely be a kiss.

I like making the first move. Whether it’s on the first or second or third date, I do the necessary things to take it to the next step. I have never been turned down for a kiss, which usually is the first move. I approach it the same ways each time. The most direct way, is to look at her and tell her that it has been driving you crazy all night, and you have to kiss her. Simple, not necessarily the first choice, but the most direct, and it usually will end in a positive manner.

The second technique is to start talking about body parts. I know it might sound silly, but it works. You can tell her that she has big hands or small hands or big feet or small feet, etc. Either way, I make it sound like having small or big is somewhat unattractive. I bust on her a bit in a flirtatious way.

At that point, you are usually matching your hands up to see whose are bigger, either because she wanted to or you asked her. Don’t let this part slip by though. If she doesn’t want you to match them up, you have to do it. The slight touching begins. Slide your hand down so her hand looks way bigger. She will laugh at this or give a subtle slap and tell you that you are mean, which is all part of the process.

If that doesn’t lead into hooking up, I will give her a compliment after goofing around with her. I will say something like, “Well you do have big hands, but your hair is really pretty.” As I am saying this, I will run my hands through her hair a couple of times looking at it. I let the tension build a bit more. I will then tell her it smells good too, in a soft voice, and lean forward or to the side and smell it a bit. From there, I will kiss her on the neck a couple of times, slowly and passionately. At that point, I will slowly pull back and look at her face, making solid eye contact. Once you get to this stage, the rest is a cake walk. She wants you. All you have to do is lean in and go for the kiss.

If you want her to make the move, do all of those steps, but when you move in for the kiss, tease her. Get close, and then pull away. Move in again, and give her a small kiss and pull away again. Tease her a few times, and she will jump your bones. From there, the hooking up begins. It is best to let the sexual tension build, then explode. If you like this girl a lot, you don’t want to push it too far too quickly. Taking things slowly is always better in the long run.

Now, there are certain things that you need to do during the first few dates that will contribute to building the sexual tension. Remember, you want to give out the vibe that you are un-needy. To do this, you want to just be yourself, and hang out with her like she’s a friend. Make jokes, goof on her a bit, goof on other people, whatever. This will allow her to feel safe and comfortable around you, which is also key in this whole process.

As hot as you find her, and as much as you want to jump on her the second you see on your dates, you need to remain calm and in control. It’s ok to tell her that she looks nice, or you like her shoes. It’s not ok to tell her that she is the hottest girl you have ever seen.

Women are used to hearing this stuff, especially beautiful women. Getting her to question herself, and what your motives are, is a very confusing and challenging state for her to be in as a woman. Women usually get what they want immediately, and if you deny this, or work around this, it will work to your advantage, build sexual tension, and make her start wanting you to like her. Guys are usually doing the chasing, but if you reverse this normal process, you will have her chasing you, which puts you in the driver’s seat. You want to be a challenge for her

There is one little key element to add here. During this whole process, you want to make physical contact every now and then. When I say physical contact I mean light touching. Every now and then, put your hand on her shoulder or over her hand when you both are laughing about something. If you are trying to get her attention and show her something, take her by the hand for a few seconds and lead her to it.

These touches become way more important and powerful to her when they don’t happen that frequently. I would say to do this 1-3 times per date, however, every date is different, and you’ll need to feel it out yourself. That number could be higher, or it could be lower. The important thing is to do it when it might not be expected. This will give it a more natural feeling as well.

So far you have learned about building sexual tension and why it’s important. You have also learned a few ways to build this sexual tension. In part 3 of this series we will get to the juicy stuff, so stay tuned….

One of the most uncomfortable things for men to think about when it comes to women and dating is when to make the first move. It can drive you nuts! You don’t want to seem too forceful, but you also don’t want to seem too passive. Your whole early dating experiences with a particular woman end up revolving around this 3 second moment when you try and lean in for a kiss.

I am going to tell you what you probably don’t want to hear. When you are on a first date, or even a second date, don’t even consider making a move. Try not to even think about it. I know, a lot of guys have a hard time not thinking about hooking up, but it will make things a hell of lot easier, and more exciting when the time finally comes to heat things up a bit.

Why do I tell you this? It’s simple really. SEXUAL TENSION. Sexual tension is your best friend in the early stages of dating. It is such a powerful energy, and when the time is right, it bursts with uncontrollable passion.

I have waited up to 4 dates before making a move. Now, I am not saying to wait that long each time, but you need to feel out and understand each dating experience separately. As you date more women, you will get better at figuring out just the right time to make the first move.

There are many reasons why taking it a bit slow, and not trying to jump her bones immediately is a good thing. Of course, taking it slowly builds sexual tension, but lets look into it a bit further.

Not trying to hook up with a girl right away shows that you are not a needy person. And, if you have read some of my previous articles, you know that this is a big turn-on to women. It shows that you are confident and in control of your universe.

It also will get her thinking. Does he find me attractive? Does he just want to be friends? Why hasn’t he made a move yet? Every other guy I have dated has tried to make a move the first night I met him. Is there something wrong with me?

Getting her to question things will not only give you a bit of an edge, but it will make her that much more determined to get you to like her and hook up with her. Now, I don’t want you to think that I am suggesting that you play mind games with her. That is not what this is. This is simply using some basic techniques in human interaction that can yield great results for you. You don’t have to act like a jerk in the process.

So, for now, don’t worry about hooking up with her. Just build up the sexual tension and be yourself. How do you build up this sexual tension? Stay tuned for that. I will be back in a few days with some really amazing pointers!

If you actually care about your job (many people couldn’t care less) I highly recommend looking into your company’s policy on dating and outside relationships between employees. If that is a big NO-NO at your current company, then you would need to jump in with extreme caution, if you still decide to go against their rules.

Some companies allow dating within the office, but have certain guidelines that need to be followed. You might even have to sign something with the HR department. What you sign is different from organization to organization, but it’s definitely making some sort of public declaration of the relationship.

Even if your attraction level to someone is through the roof, you need to think rationally and clearly about your job first. You need to think about his or her job as well. The last thing you want to happen is to get fired, or to get the other person fired. If one of you is in a position of power, it’s important not to let the relationship look like it’s happening for career advancement.

That is why you need to take things slowly. Let it advance at a snail’s pace. This might be hard to do, but you need to do it if you are going to give this type of romance a try. You will want to frequent their desk less often, and send fewer emails. As most of you know, people like to talk. Office gossip is a strong bonding tool for people, so if you plan on opening your mouth to anyone, make sure you trust them 100%.

One great thing about dating a co-worker is the fact that you constantly have a strong topic of conversation, and an instant bond. It is a lot easier to listen to someone complain about work if you know exactly where they’re coming from. You can also have piece of mind knowing what they are doing all day if you are the jealous type. Although, that could also be a bad thing if they work closely with someone that you might be threatened by. The whole “out of sight out of mind” thing goes right out the window.

Seeing too much of the person could end up being a problem. Early on in relationships it’s so easy to want to spend every moment together, but usually there is an 8-10 hour period during the day when you don’t see each other, or talk to one another. All the time you spend together is at night and on the weekends. However, if you are not compatible, you might figure this out sooner after spending all that time together. This could expedite the inevitable.

If you plan on hooking up or dating the co-worker you’ve been flirting with for the last few months, do so with caution. Remember to check out your company’s policy on everything, and try and keep things quiet for the first couple months. If things don’t work out between the two of you, remember, that you will still be working together. You should discuss this during the relationship. You also need to have a clear communication and understanding on the whole situation. If you don’t, it could end up being a disaster.

When we left off, you saw the best way to approach a woman, and break the ice for a conversation. I feel the hardest part of trying to approach and talk to women is the initial approach. Being able to go up to her, make her feel comfortable right away, while not triggering her defense mechanisms that I have talked about before, is the hardest part. When I say the hardest part, I mean the scariest and most nerve racking. It’s like anything in life. Step one is always the hardest step to take.

So, what do you do now? What are you supposed to say? You want to say the perfect thing. You don’t want to seem nervous. You don’t want to seem silly or dumb. AHHHHH!!!! Your head feels like it’s going to spin right off your body!

Well, don’t worry because I am going to give you a few quick tips on what you should say and how you should act once you start talking to her.

1. Ask her an opinion question/gender specific question. Asking a good question normally leads to good conversation, unless you are dealing with a complete dud. I find that women love giving their opinion on any topic, especially one that involves getting a female perspective.

I’ve also realized that women love talking about sex. Guys, believe me, they are more comfortable talking about this than you realize. Try and keep up on current events that involve women and sex. These are great topics to talk about. Scandal is never a boring topic either.

You can say something like the following.

“Hey, I have a quick question for you. My friend and I were having a conversation and we would like a female point of view. Did you know that a recent poll indicated that 98% of men think they are the ones with the upper hand in a relationship? What do you think about that?”

Now, that stat isn’t even true, but it is exaggerated enough where it can really get someone worked up quickly. Most women will jump all over a statement like that, and the conversation will take off from there.

2. Remain a bit mysterious. Men try too hard to sell themselves to women right off the bat. This is a major turn-off to women, and I talked about this a bit in Part 1 of this series. There is no need to tell her every detail about yourself in the first 10 minutes. She doesn’t want to know about all your great connections and all the cool things you have with all that money that you have earned.

Instead, keep the conversation playful and light. Joke around. Continue the gender related conversations. You need to move one step at a time. Leave something to her imagination. Make her want more. This will benefit you greatly.

3. Don’t push things. If you are talking to her, and things aren’t going well in your opinion, then don’t push it. Chalk it up, and move on to the next one. If you feel like doing it, try and get her phone number. It can’t hurt at this point.

If you are sensing that things are going really well, just take it to the next level. If you are talking for a bit, end the conversation. Tell her it was nice meeting her, but you need to get back to your friends. As you’re getting up, tell her you would like to have another debate sometime on gender differences, or whatever you were talking about with her, and get her phone number.

Don’t say, “Can I have your phone number, please?” Instead, say, “What’s your phone number?” It’s far more powerful, and you are not giving her the ability to say no. She can say, I don’t want to give it to you, but she can’t simply say no.

Also, by ending the conversation, you seem independent, and not too clingy. Women respond to this type of behavior. Most men sit there and talk to her all night, trying to get into her pants the whole time. By ending the conversation a bit sooner than most, you will have her wondering and thinking about you, and that is what you want.

Lastly, remember that you just want to move forward one step. Men tend to jump forward a few steps because they’re always looking to close the deal that night. Although that works at times, I don’t suggest it as a long-term game plan.

For more information, pick up a copy of the “Dating Savant Playbook.”

As I said in a recent article “Getting Past Women’s Defensive Walls – The First Steps To Attracting More Women” Women put up walls as a time management tool. If they spent time on every dude that hit on them, they wouldn’t be able to leave their own homes. Because of this, it is important to have a few tricks up your sleeve that can open her up, and let you into her world. This is not always easy, and quite frankly, you will face some rejection, but it you implement these techniques, you will be light years ahead of most men.

When a guy spots an attractive lady, he tends to make some serious mistakes right off the bat. First of all, he waits way too long before he approaches her. For this story, I am going to call our guy Dan. Dan tells his friends to check out the hot blonde by the bar, and immediately 4 drunk dudes are ogling her. If he’s unlucky, she will see all 5 of them staring at her like dorks.

Dan then ponders when he should approach her, and what he should say. This is very bad. Not only are you taking too much time to talk to her, which will only make your head spin trying to think of the perfect thing to say, but you are also leaving the door open for someone else to talk to her. To make matters worse, the longer you take, the more she will see you and your friends drooling over her like dogs. If this happens, say adios to the pretty blonde.

So, what can you do to actually approach and talk to a girl and have her enjoy it and not run for the hills?

1. Approach her immediately. Don’t give yourself time to think about things, and don’t allow enough time for her to see you staring at her 25 different times. I think you should approach a woman within 5 seconds of spotting her, but absolutely no more then 10 seconds. And, if the first time you see her, she happens to be looking at you too, she will think you are extremely confident when you walk up to her so quickly. This will be a turn-on to her, which will also immediately get you one step closer to getting past her wall.

2. Approach with strong body language. Women are far more perceptive than men, and they read body language very well. Way, way better than us guys! If you walk to her with your head down looking like you just got beat up by a little boy, then you have canceled out step 1.

Walk to her with purpose. Keep your head up, looking right at her with a small smile. This smile can almost be a sly grin. If she is looking at you, do not break eye contact. If anyone is going to look away first you better make sure it is her. Stand tall with your shoulders rolled back and your chest out. Walk at a medium pace, not too fast but not too slow. A nice, cool stroll will tell her that you are in control.

3. Don’t get too close to her. When you finally get to her, don’t get too close and invade her space. This will make her really uncomfortable. A couple feet is great.

4. Don’t seek approval or use pick-up lines. If you try and seek her approval, she will think you are insecure. No woman wants an insecure man. Don’t use pick-up lines either. I can’t believe that guys are still using these dumb things. They don’t work!

5. Greet her uniquely. Going up to her, shaking her hand, introducing yourself, and asking her what her name is, is totally boring, and clumps you right in with all the other dudes that have tried to talk to her. Make yourself stand out. Be unique. You want her to experience some emotion when she meets you. This is an attractive quality. It might feel weird or awkward at first, but in the long run, and as you become more comfortable with yourself and your technique, it will pay off.

There are various things you can do. one thing you can do is go in for a “high five.” Use your left hand too. As you are giving this unique greeting, say “What’s up?” or “What’s happening?” Draw it out too. Say “Whaaaaaat’s happenin?” or “Whaaaaaat’s up?” You can add a nickname to this as well. Whatever that is. Say your unique greeting and add a piece of clothing she is wearing, or the purse she is carrying. Not only is this unique and fun, it is showing women that you are noticing details, and women appreciate this. They don’t try and look nice for nothing.

So, you can say something like “Whaaaat’s up Louis Vuitton?” or “Whaaaat’s up great shoes?”

It might sound silly to you, but it’s a far more effective opening than what women normally hear.

Please stay tuned for part 2 of GREAT TIPS FOR APPROACHING WOMEN.

For more information on attracting more women, please visit the following website.

Before you can even begin to have the right set of tools to drive the ladies crazy, you need to have the right tools within yourself. I know you might be thinking this is sappy or corny, but it is more important than you know. In order for you to attract more women, and be successful with them, you need to have a healthy and confident self. Without knowing, growing, and learning about yourself, you will never be successful with women.

Most people are constantly having an internal dialogue with themselves. All day long we are having different conversations in our head. We think about what we want to eat, when should I workout, I hate work, she looks hot, or I can’t wait until the weekend. All day long day after day we are talking to ourselves. Our brain is a pretty hard working engine. It’s amazing it doesn’t burn out faster.

The other reality is that most people are average. Most people just go through the motions of daily life, just waiting for the day to be over. They hate their jobs, they hate their situation, and they dislike themselves. You might not want to hear this, but it is the truth. Most people are fairly unsatisfied and think negatively in their minds. Not everyone, but most.

The ones that don’t, the ones that strive to be different, better, revolutionary, or take control of their lives, are the ones that become great. People like this become leaders, role models, revolutionaries, or even savants with women. They think positively about life and themselves. They visualize greatness and then chase after it, never slowing down until they reach what they want. These are people like Martin Luther King Jr., Michael Jordan, Henry Ford, Albert Einstein, or John Lennon to name a few.

We are and become what our daily thoughts are. Some of you might already know all about this stuff if you have read THE SECRET by Rhonda Byrne or LAW OF ATTRACTION by Michael J. Losier. If you haven’t, you should pick up a copy today and start reading!

Have you ever heard the statement that if you tell a lie enough times you will begin to believe it? It’s true though, right? If you lie and lie the same lie over and over again, you begin to believe your own BS. You have said it so many times to so many people that it has become your reality.

Have you ever just known and felt something deep down that you know will come true? Have you ever gone into a situation and just known you were going to come out successful? There is no explaining it. You just know. You knew days in advance that you would come out successful. This is the same type of thing. Your feelings and thoughts play off each other and create realities.

This phenomenon is true with anything and everything. If you tell yourself over and over again that you are a loser and will never amount to anything, then guess what? You will be a loser that never amounts to anything. If you tell yourself that you are worthy and awesome and women would be crazy not to be with you, and you act the part, and think about yourself in a constant positive light, then you will have women drawn to you. It cannot work any other way.

When I became interested in learning more about women and relationships, I was a fairly negative thinker. Not all day, but it was a consistent theme. I did not think I was capable of having success with women. So guess what? I was not successful with women. My thoughts were I was no good, and my actions would follow my thought process, and the outcome was inevitable.

If this is all new to you, it might sound weird, or sound like a bunch of new age philosophy but I am telling you it works. Again, I would highly advise you to read one of the books mentioned a few paragraphs back.

I started doing some research on laws of attraction and the power of positive thinking once I finally realized that what I was doing was not working. At first, I was hesitant to read these types of books, and felt a little girly doing it. You might feel this way too. As I began to read and learn more and more about this way of thinking, I became fascinated by what it preached. It made so much sense to me!

So I started to try and shift my way of thinking. I started telling myself that I was going to start meeting women. Women were going to love being with me because of all my positive characteristics. I would remind myself daily what these positive characteristics were. I would recite them in my head. I would say them to myself when I went to bed and when I woke up in the morning. I would put notes on my mirror and in my car to remind me of who I was and what I wanted to become and achieve in my life.

Before long, I started feeling more confident. I started meeting more women, and they were responding to me like never before. This all had to do with my new way of thinking. Our thoughts and mind are so very powerful. They can do things that seem impossible. You can create any reality that you desire, because your reality is what you think and how you take those thoughts and put them into action.

Another important part of all this is visualization. Visualization has become such an important part of my daily routine and long term life plan. The best part of visualization, to me, is that it’s fun to do. Who doesn’t like daydreaming about positive things? I day dream about the money I want, the vacations I am on, the women I want to be with. It is so much fun! I visualize myself already in that moment. I use all my senses in the visualization. I can see, smell, feel, taste, and hear my visualization. This is a very powerful technique and concept.

If you practice the art of positive thinking and visualization on a daily basis, you will begin to see results. If you begin thinking about the type of woman you want and start dreaming about what you will do together, and how great the two of you are together, and you actually start believing you are already with her, you will end up with this woman at some point. You will end up with her sooner than later too. I know it sounds crazy, but I have done this, and I know other men who have done this as well.

First and foremost, it is important to take the shy, introverted, nice guy image, hang him upside down, shake him around a bit, and come out the other side the exact opposite man.  You want to be outgoing, playful, confident, and mysterious.  That is step one.  Now I know you might think that women want that caring, sensitive guy, but they don’t.  Save that for later.  When it comes to initial meetings, and if you are trying to pick up a woman for the first time, that stuff doesn’t work.  Believe me!

It is important to remember, men, that women are approached, hit on, whistled at, and drooled over multiple times a day.  Every single day, this happens to a woman.  It is part of their routine and part of being a female on planet Earth.  Because of this, women have built up defense mechanisms and walls to filter out the guys that have a snowball’s chance in hell, from the men that might be fun to hang out with.  Not only is this necessary to select a mate, but it is also necessary as a time management tool.  Women wouldn’t  get through a day if they had to stop and talk at length to every moron that thinks they can score with her.

Women also operate on emotion, while men operate logically.  Now I am not saying that women aren’t logical, but for the sake of argument I am going to say that they are triggered more easily by emotion, and not logic.  I think many people would agree with that.  The interesting thing about this is that it doesn’t matter what the emotion is, as long as they feel a strong emotion.  So, if you can get a strong emotion out of a woman and harness it, she is going to take notice, and remember you.  Just doing that will give you an advantage over most men.

Women are like roller-coasters, where the highs are highs and the lows are lows.  Getting them to experience these highs and lows through your actions will get her to pay attention to you immediately.  By doing this, you will not trigger her defense mechanisms, and you will get past her wall.  Getting past this wall is a huge step in being able to keep a girl interested in you.

There is another key element in attracting women, and getting past their defenses.  Men, do not, under any circumstance, approach a woman looking for her approval.  You will be shot down instantly!  Women see right past this garbage, and it is a major turn-off to them.  It is also a huge sign of insecurity, and an insecure man is the absolute last thing a woman wants.  If you take the approval approach to meeting women, you are out of the game before the game even starts.

Women are looking for confident men, who have a strong and healthy image about themselves.  This is a very, very sexy quality women find in men.  These type of men are not looking for a woman’s approval, or any one’s approval for that matter.  They create their own world, manage that world, and rarely let outside influences or distractions shake their foundation.  Women long for this type of man, whether they admit it or not.

So men, remember that women build up defense mechanisms and walls as a management tool to filter out the good men from the bad men.  Women love feeling emotions and responding to those emotions, whether they are negative or positive.  Bringing these emotions out in women will get you past their walls, which is a big first step to attraction, and it will give you an advantage over most men.  Lastly, women want secure, confident men, so never approach them looking for their approval.  This is a major sign of insecurity, and they will see right through that.